please, stay with me

Karisha, 27, Russian fannibal. Hannibal blog.

[citrus1640]

WB profile cr: 闫管SaltMemo

[daisies-and-dust]

It`s Beyond My Control

[ficklesobsessions]

It's not that people who keep begging Xiaofan to grow a backbone are wrong, it's just extra hilarious to me that if you were to see the novel/series entirely from Luqing's perspective, Luqing is the one who thinks he has absolutely no dignity in the relationship.

During the initial period of their relationship, Xiaofan doesn't fully comprehend that he's in love with Luqing, let alone even sexually attracted to him (despite enjoying sex with him very much). In Xiaofan's mind, he's engaged in a purely quid pro quo where Luqing helps out with his family and in exchange gets sex. He thinks he's just going along with it.

From Luqing's perspective, he's so hot for Xiaofan he'll regularly endanger his reputation by seeking him out in semi-public spaces, but Xiaofan consistently outwardly acts like he could take or leave it, and even thinks Luqing is weird for being all over him.

They move in together, and instinctively Xiaofan makes himself at home, starts cooking soup, and Luqing is in seventh heaven getting all the soup and sex he can handle and meanwhile, Xiaofan's just like, "wow, cringe."

The "unusual tastes" here is Luqing being gay, btw. Baby boy took years to understand his own feelings.

At some point Xiaofan casually references that "Luqing would take him on outings sometimes" and you don't find out until later that Luqing was TAKING XIAOFAN TO JAPAN TO EAT SASHIMI and probably dicking him down in five star hotels and buying him phones and scarves that he has to trick Xiaofan into accepting.

Gifts Xiaofan THROWS IN THE TRASH rather than keep when he decides to cut ties with the Beis.

Like, yes, gifts and trips and favors were wrong seduction tactic for Luqing to try and use on Xiaofan, but he WAS trying to get Xiaofan to buy in. And not that Xiaofan would know, because they never communicate, but at this point Luqing has already started all these machinations to loosen his mother's control over his life so that at the very least he can play house with Xiaofan, but then Xiaofan (apparently) does not want to play house, and have nice scarves, and fly to Japan with Luqing every summer, or even talk to him.

This is a crucial point of miscommunication because they both think the other doesn't care at all, and while Xiaofan is a darling little angel baby who has never done anything wrong in his life, he also spent a big part of their initial relationship being like "too bad he's such a weirdo" at Luqing for wanting him so bad.

Like there absolutely could have been a point where Luqing could be point blank like, "Fan Fan I want you to live with me forever, having you here is the only thing that keeps me going," and Xiaofan would have been like, "Wow. I'm really flattered, but, well. Sure. I mean I'm not gay, but okay I guess. I owe it to you."

And despite that (and every misunderstanding to come) Luqing is still obsessed with him and never stops being obsessed with him.

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Well, now I really gotta read the novel, because the show definitely hints at what a down bad loser Luqing is (I mean, it's more than hints if you're paying attention to him outside of Xiaofan's perspective, but it would be easy to dismiss if you're only looking at that), but I would love to see an episode that does a run through of their relationship from his perspective, because that man is constantly basically vibrating with how much he wants Xiaofan, and it would be beautiful to watch.

Also, there are a lot of scenes where Xiaofan is clearly startled and confused by Luqing's kindness and desire, and I think it would be delightful to read about how he thinks Bei Luqing is a big ol' weirdo.

Now, to find a decent translation of the novel...

[ficklesobsessions]

Wow i should have put all that in the original post behind a cut, because long, but just FYI I'm going off a translation you can find on wattpad. Another is being done that I think will have some more context via translator notes, but it's in progress and still only a few chapters. Anyway, the novel is actually pretty subtle. Or rather, it doesn't try very hard to explain things, and does not rush to reveal things or show the other perspective but it does help you get at least a little more into Xiaofan's head and he's just not the whipping boy people are assuming. He's very pragmatic and not prone to navel gaze about things, but aside from the fact that he's a little conflict averse, by the end it's very clear who has the power.

[ficklesobsessions]

It's not that people who keep begging Xiaofan to grow a backbone are wrong, it's just extra hilarious to me that if you were to see the novel/series entirely from Luqing's perspective, Luqing is the one who thinks he has absolutely no dignity in the relationship.

During the initial period of their relationship, Xiaofan doesn't fully comprehend that he's in love with Luqing, let alone even sexually attracted to him (despite enjoying sex with him very much). In Xiaofan's mind, he's engaged in a purely quid pro quo where Luqing helps out with his family and in exchange gets sex. He thinks he's just going along with it.

From Luqing's perspective, he's so hot for Xiaofan he'll regularly endanger his reputation by seeking him out in semi-public spaces, but Xiaofan consistently outwardly acts like he could take or leave it, and even thinks Luqing is weird for being all over him.

They move in together, and instinctively Xiaofan makes himself at home, starts cooking soup, and Luqing is in seventh heaven getting all the soup and sex he can handle and meanwhile, Xiaofan's just like, "wow, cringe."

The "unusual tastes" here is Luqing being gay, btw. Baby boy took years to understand his own feelings.

At some point Xiaofan casually references that "Luqing would take him on outings sometimes" and you don't find out until later that Luqing was TAKING XIAOFAN TO JAPAN TO EAT SASHIMI and probably dicking him down in five star hotels and buying him phones and scarves that he has to trick Xiaofan into accepting.

Gifts Xiaofan THROWS IN THE TRASH rather than keep when he decides to cut ties with the Beis.

Like, yes, gifts and trips and favors were wrong seduction tactic for Luqing to try and use on Xiaofan, but he WAS trying to get Xiaofan to buy in. And not that Xiaofan would know, because they never communicate, but at this point Luqing has already started all these machinations to loosen his mother's control over his life so that at the very least he can play house with Xiaofan, but then Xiaofan (apparently) does not want to play house, and have nice scarves, and fly to Japan with Luqing every summer, or even talk to him.

This is a crucial point of miscommunication because they both think the other doesn't care at all, and while Xiaofan is a darling little angel baby who has never done anything wrong in his life, he also spent a big part of their initial relationship being like "too bad he's such a weirdo" at Luqing for wanting him so bad.

Like there absolutely could have been a point where Luqing could be point blank like, "Fan Fan I want you to live with me forever, having you here is the only thing that keeps me going," and Xiaofan would have been like, "Wow. I'm really flattered, but, well. Sure. I mean I'm not gay, but okay I guess. I owe it to you."

And despite that (and every misunderstanding to come) Luqing is still obsessed with him and never stops being obsessed with him.

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Well, now I really gotta read the novel, because the show definitely hints at what a down bad loser Luqing is (I mean, it's more than hints if you're paying attention to him outside of Xiaofan's perspective, but it would be easy to dismiss if you're only looking at that), but I would love to see an episode that does a run through of their relationship from his perspective, because that man is constantly basically vibrating with how much he wants Xiaofan, and it would be beautiful to watch.

Also, there are a lot of scenes where Xiaofan is clearly startled and confused by Luqing's kindness and desire, and I think it would be delightful to read about how he thinks Bei Luqing is a big ol' weirdo.

Now, to find a decent translation of the novel...

[gremlininho]

let me. innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[ficklesobsessions]

Reading through Bittersweet Love/Man Who Married a Wealthy Family etc again a bit more carefully.

On the one hand I'm like, damn, this is some insightful social commentary about the difficulty of interacting with people above your social class no matter how what your intentions.

And then on the other hand, this story is so FUNNY (and occasionally ridiculous):

Unfortunately, I will have to make Xiaofan and Luqing my entire personality for the next few weeks.

[epiphainie]

slow burn where they're already having sex. such a beautiful combination i cannot put it into words

[clytemnestraaa]

one of my creative writing professors once said that to evaluate a work as good or not, first you ask what the work is attempting to do, and then you evaluate how well it does it. and this is how to judge everything from critical essays to romance novels to snack packaging to theory tracts.

[stroebe2]

June and July are the same months btw. They want you to think they're two different months but it's the same month that's 60 days long. Same way August is actually August and the first half of September

[ogcassiopeia]

I stay in the kpop sphere for TVXQ.

That is it.

I do not care enough about any other group or soloists for my interest to remain. I like other groups, like Shinee or XLOV, but I just do not want to truly love them. None of them match up with TVXQ for me. I am too dedicated to TVXQ to ever stray from them.

If TVXQ ever decided to call it quits and dip out of kpop, I likely will also leave. I probably will still check in on kpop every once in a while, but truly current kpop is not doing it for me any longer. I am starting to find that the most recent releases do not sound good to me, the music is boring at best and actively annoying at worst. Group names are fucking embarrassingly bad...like they are just throwing random words into a blender and whatever shakes out at the end is what they keep. Short form content is repetitive and making kpop an instant gratification economy. Concepts are no longer interesting or fun or unique, just stupidly campy and AI ladden. Kpop has lost what attracted me to it in the first place....a uniqueness and creativity that made it stand out from the West....now it's just following every trend and placating itself. No one sings anymore, everyone is a glorified dancer who sometimes talks over a beat. Melody and harmony doesnt exist anymore. Choruses barely exist anymore outside of repeating the same word or phrase a million times.

And on top of all of that, TVXQ are so rarely talked about or given any attention, even though they are legends. People always mention BigBang or Super Junior, Shinee or 2PM...but they gloss over TVXQ or completely ignore their existence altogether.

I want to scream outside of SM's building that - TVXQ ARE STILL AROUND AND STILL PROMOTING. LIKE JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE RIGHT FUCKING THERE! ACKNOWLEDGE THEM. THEY ARE THE WHOLE FUCKING REASON THIS SHIT COMPANY IS EVEN ABLE TO EXIST RIGHT NOW. THE MONEY THEY BROUGHT IN IS WHAT ALLOWED YOU TO DEBUT SO MANY OTHER GROUPS.

And yet, TVXQ get crumbs. TVXQ gets ignored. They get pushed back to Japan over and over without a plan anymore. Their Japanese comebacks used to be well produced, conceptually interesting, fun, and promoted heavily....now ever since SM took over, everything is half assed. Like SM just gives TVXQ either old, crappy NCT reject singles or a boring ass ballad.

Lastly....TVXQ themselves need to get their shit together. Yunho and Changmin need to put on their big boy pants and have a heart to heart convo about the TVXQ brand. Because boys...what's going on right now ain't it. These months and months of not interacting with each other, and this weird atmosphere when you are together, is very off putting. Figure your shit out. Do you want to continue as TVXQ and if so, then how much are you willing to put out there in order to save the brand, how much are you willing to stand up for yourselves and ask for better? You've done that with your solo activities...so put that same effort into TVXQ. If you do not want to continue as TVXQ, then fucking tell us. Don't string us fans along and lie to us.

Wow...this turned into a rant.

TLDR - I am frustrated. Can you tell?

[konjebal]

Actually I feel the same. TVXQ! are the only one who keeps me there and they ARE THE BAND, THE ENSEMBLE, if you like. I'm not an expert in music analysis, but believe me: the beauty of their voices harmony, the way how their musical parts are ensembled, how they are arranged to show off the best qualities of their voices, their individuality, their temperamental traits - and blend together beautifully, euphoniously, not contradicting each other, but the opposite - is UNIQUE. I don't know any other currently active male duos, especially in pop music, that do the same, that have songs written especially for them, where the tessitura comfortable for each member is taken into account, where each voice can make itself heard. It's just crazy, considering the vocal facelessness of modern pop songs. TVXQ! is outstanding, legendary kpop group, they are the one and only. I wish I could express my thoughts better, if so I could give lectures about them, enlightning folk. Love for them is not accidental. It's something that is fueled with GREAT, BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL, VOCALLY INVENTIVE, AMAZING MUSIC 😭.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[turgidturnip]

You don't even need to be a journalist, experts LOVE answering these kinds of questions. I, a regular-degular idiot, recently contacted the Smithsonian asking what kind of ink to use on mineral paper for maximum longevity, and I got a very detailed response in under 48 hours.

[colourme-feral]

I was doing a quick scan of Bittersweet Love again (again and again) and noticed that on Lv Xin's wedding night, while waiting for Xiao Fan to shower, Lv Qing is reading a book.

On closer look, I realised that the book was a Russian book, which suggests that Lv Qing can understand, or at least read in Russian.

The book's English names are How the Steel Was Tempered or The Making of a Hero by Nikolai Ostrovsky.

Interestingly, the Wiki article includes this in the Analysis section of the book:

In 2016, Russia's newspaper Russia Beyond The Headlines analyzed the story as part of the Soviet narrative of Communism forging uncivilized men into ideal men, like iron into steel. The protagonist fits the mold of pre-Khrushchev literature: an immaculate, ideally communistic individual.

How very curious indeed. 🤔

[ficklesobsessions]

It's not that people who keep begging Xiaofan to grow a backbone are wrong, it's just extra hilarious to me that if you were to see the novel/series entirely from Luqing's perspective, Luqing is the one who thinks he has absolutely no dignity in the relationship.

During the initial period of their relationship, Xiaofan doesn't fully comprehend that he's in love with Luqing, let alone even sexually attracted to him (despite enjoying sex with him very much). In Xiaofan's mind, he's engaged in a purely quid pro quo where Luqing helps out with his family and in exchange gets sex. He thinks he's just going along with it.

From Luqing's perspective, he's so hot for Xiaofan he'll regularly endanger his reputation by seeking him out in semi-public spaces, but Xiaofan consistently outwardly acts like he could take or leave it, and even thinks Luqing is weird for being all over him.

They move in together, and instinctively Xiaofan makes himself at home, starts cooking soup, and Luqing is in seventh heaven getting all the soup and sex he can handle and meanwhile, Xiaofan's just like, "wow, cringe."

The "unusual tastes" here is Luqing being gay, btw. Baby boy took years to understand his own feelings.

At some point Xiaofan casually references that "Luqing would take him on outings sometimes" and you don't find out until later that Luqing was TAKING XIAOFAN TO JAPAN TO EAT SASHIMI and probably dicking him down in five star hotels and buying him phones and scarves that he has to trick Xiaofan into accepting.

Gifts Xiaofan THROWS IN THE TRASH rather than keep when he decides to cut ties with the Beis.

Like, yes, gifts and trips and favors were wrong seduction tactic for Luqing to try and use on Xiaofan, but he WAS trying to get Xiaofan to buy in. And not that Xiaofan would know, because they never communicate, but at this point Luqing has already started all these machinations to loosen his mother's control over his life so that at the very least he can play house with Xiaofan, but then Xiaofan (apparently) does not want to play house, and have nice scarves, and fly to Japan with Luqing every summer, or even talk to him.

This is a crucial point of miscommunication because they both think the other doesn't care at all, and while Xiaofan is a darling little angel baby who has never done anything wrong in his life, he also spent a big part of their initial relationship being like "too bad he's such a weirdo" at Luqing for wanting him so bad.

Like there absolutely could have been a point where Luqing could be point blank like, "Fan Fan I want you to live with me forever, having you here is the only thing that keeps me going," and Xiaofan would have been like, "Wow. I'm really flattered, but, well. Sure. I mean I'm not gay, but okay I guess. I owe it to you."

And despite that (and every misunderstanding to come) Luqing is still obsessed with him and never stops being obsessed with him.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

BITTERSWEET LOVE Episode 5

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Looks great. The scarf?

BITTERSWEET LOVE Episode 6

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

What a pity. I'm afraid I won't be able to have soup tonight.

BITTERSWEET LOVE Episode 4

[americachavez]

harry potter fandom experiencing such a revival in the last 5 or so years to the point where 5 out of the top 10 ships on ao3 this year are hp AFTER that woman started fully funding hate campaigns with her royalties is so bleak. fandom isn’t an indicator of morality but what are we doing here man.