Song Listen to: I wish you cheated by Alexander Stewart
I'm really rusty with writing and shit so I hope this is alright lmao. But anyways, enjoy my first imagine in years. And yes I did the cringy song lyrics in the imagine trope. Fight me 🤣
The backstage area buzzed with nervous energy, a mix of hurried footsteps, whispered conversations, and the occasional burst of laughter as performers prepared for their turn in the spotlight. Yet, amidst all the chaos, I stood alone, trembling slightly as I clutched the microphone in my hand. The familiar weight of it should have been comforting, a reminder of all the times I had commanded the stage. But tonight was different.
Tonight, everything felt different.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. My heart pounded relentlessly in my chest, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the usual pre-show jitters or the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. The breakup was still so fresh, the wound still raw, and I questioned whether I was truly ready to perform, especially so soon after the end of something I had once believed would last forever.
But I knew I had to do this. I had to get my feelings out somehow. If I didn’t, they would only continue to fester and build inside me until they exploded at the most inopportune moment. This stage, this performance, was my only outlet—the only place where I could release everything I’d been holding in.
The stage manager’s voice broke through my thoughts, calling my name. It was time.
With one final breath, I forced a small, soft smile and stepped out onto the stage. The roar of the crowd hit me like a wave, their cheers washing over me as I made my way to the center, the spotlight following my every move. I scanned the sea of faces, some of them familiar, others unknown, but all of them here for me. My fans. My supporters. The people who had been with me through every high and low of my career.
And, as expected, there were idols in the crowd too—other performers, peers who understood the pressure of standing on this stage, especially at an Mnet performance. Among them, I spotted the members of Stray Kids, all of them watching with anticipation. They were excited to see me perform, their eyes filled with a mix of support and curiosity. But one gaze in particular caught mine, and for a brief moment, the rest of the world faded away.
Hyunjin.
He was there, sitting with his group, his expression unreadable. The sight of him made my heart ache, the pain of our breakup resurfacing with a vengeance. I quickly looked away, not trusting myself to hold his gaze for too long. I needed to focus on the performance. I needed to keep it together.
The music director nodded at me, signaling that everything was ready. I stepped forward, bringing the microphone to my lips. The noise of the crowd quieted down, and I could feel their anticipation building. They were expecting something amazing, something powerful.
But tonight, they were going to get something different.
“There’s been a slight change to my performance tonight,” I announced, my voice surprisingly steady. I paused, letting my words sink in. “I’m going to cover a song instead.”
A murmur of surprise rippled through the audience, but I didn’t wait for their reaction to settle. I closed my eyes and gave the signal for the music to start.
The first notes filled the auditorium, soft and melancholic, perfectly mirroring the emotions swirling inside me. And then, I began to sing.
"I'm anxious, kinda sad.
Hard to be your best when you lost the best you had.
Spending days just on my phone.
Wondering where it all went wrong.
I'm nervous, pretty wired.
I said your name too much, now my lungs got tired.
Thinking maybe I'm to blame.
I just need someone to hate."
As the lyrics flowed from me, I let my eyes drift back to Hyunjin. His face was a mixture of concern and sadness, emotions that mirrored my own. The connection we once shared, so strong and undeniable, was still there, but it was different now—fragile, like a thread that could snap at any moment.
I forced myself to look away, focusing on the song instead.
"Oh oh oh
You made this so damn hard for me.
You and your goddamn honesty
It got me thinking..."
The words cut deep, each one hitting a nerve that I had tried so hard to numb. But it was impossible to ignore the truth. It had always been there, lurking beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment to come to light.
And tonight was that moment.
"I wish you would've cheated.
And smashed my heart to pieces.
I wish I had a reason I could hate your guts for leaving.
I wish you were the villain, a psycho with no feelings.
So how do I move on
When you did nothing wrong..."
I closed my eyes again, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. The pain in my chest was overwhelming, a crushing weight that made it hard to breathe. But I couldn’t stop now. I had to keep going. I had to see this through.
"Ah ah ah
Wish you did something wrong..
Ah ah ah
But you did nothing wrong..."
As I transitioned into the second verse, I opened my eyes and focused on the fans in the audience. They were all watching me with rapt attention, their expressions a mix of empathy and admiration. They could feel the raw emotion in my voice, the vulnerability I was exposing on stage. And they understood. They always understood.
"Know it's messed up, kinda bad.
But I wish we didn't talk
And you just left like that...
I'd be angry instead of numb.
Dammit who have I become?"
The chorus hit harder the second time around, the reality of my situation sinking in even deeper. I was holding back tears, my voice trembling slightly as I continued to sing. But I refused to break down. Not here. Not in front of all these people.
"Oh oh oh
You made this so damn hard for me.
You and your goddamn honesty
It got me thinking...
I wish you would've cheated.
And smashed my heart to pieces.
I wish I had a reason I could hate your guts for leaving.
I wish you were the villain, a psycho with no feelings.
So how do I move on
When you did nothing wrong...
Ah ah ah
Wish you did something wrong...
Ah ah ah
But you did nothing wrong..."
I glanced back at Hyunjin, tears welling in my eyes as I sang the bridge. This time, I couldn’t look away. I needed him to understand how much this was hurting me, how much I wished things were different.
"In the middle of the night
I start to fantasize that you would ruin my whole life.
Oh woahh
Cause you're the best I had.
And I keep running back like a goddamn fool trying to change your mind."
The tears finally spilled over, rolling down my cheeks as I held his gaze. For the last time, I sang the final chorus, my voice breaking slightly under the weight of my emotions.
"You were all mine...
Can't believe I...
Wish you would've cheated
And smashed my heart to pieces.
I wish I had a reason I could hate your guts for leaving.
I wish you were the villain, a psycho with no feelings.
So how do I move on
When you did nothing wrong..."
As the last note faded into silence, I quickly whispered my thanks to the audience before rushing off the stage. The applause was deafening, but I barely heard it as I fled, desperate to escape before I completely broke down in front of everyone.
Once backstage, I felt the tears pour down my face uncontrollably. My vision blurred as I tried to navigate my way out of the venue, my breaths coming in ragged sobs that I could no longer suppress. I needed to get away. I needed to be alone.
But just as I was about to reach the exit, a hand grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks.
I turned around to see Hyunjin standing there, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. My heart ached at the sight. “Did… did you sing that because of me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I nodded, unable to find my voice. My throat felt tight, the words trapped inside, but I managed to choke out, “Yes…”
Hyunjin looked down, his expression pained. “Do you really feel like that? You would’ve rather been angry at me than ending it on good terms?”
“Yes,” I admitted, my voice trembling. “I know we talked about how we weren’t working and that it would be best if we broke up, but it wasn’t mutual. I didn’t want to break up… I love you, Hyunjin, and I’m sorry if you felt like I didn’t, but I did. I know shit got in the way, but what’s a relationship without struggles and obstacles? It would’ve been boring if we were the perfect couple.”
Hyunjin sighed, his shoulders slumping as he looked down at the floor. “I thought we both wanted to break up. We barely had any time for each other. With me touring with Stray Kids and now being an ambassador for Versace, it’s kind of hard to clear a time slot in my schedule for a relationship…”
I nodded, unable to meet his gaze. The weight of our breakup was crushing, and every word felt like a heavy burden. “Yes,” I whispered. “I know we both agreed it was for the best, but it wasn’t mutual for me. I didn’t want to break up, Hyunjin. I loved you, and I still do. I know our schedules made it difficult, but relationships aren’t supposed to be perfect. We would’ve made it through the struggles if we had tried.”
Hyunjin looked down, his face etched with pain. “I thought we both wanted this… With me being so busy, it just seemed impossible to make it work.”
“I know,” I said, my voice trembling. “But knowing we made a logical decision doesn’t make it any easier. I can’t even be mad, and that’s what hurts the most. I wish you had given me a reason to hate you. It would be easier than feeling this… nothingness.”
He sighed deeply, his own tears now visible. “I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I was doing what was best for both of us.”
My resolve crumbled. I took a shaky breath, trying to steady myself. “I have to go,” I murmured, pulling away from him. “I can’t… I can’t do this right now.”
I walked quickly, my steps echoing in the empty hallway. The weight of our conversation hung heavy on my shoulders, and I needed space to process everything. Each step felt like a reminder of the finality of it all, and I fought to hold back the tears that threatened to overwhelm me.
I headed out of the venue, the cool night air hitting my face as I made my way to the car. Once inside, I let the tears flow freely, my body shaking with the intensity of my emotions. I cried silently, the sting of Hyunjin’s departure a relentless ache in my heart.
The car ride to my apartment was a blur of tears and sniffles. By the time I arrived home, I felt completely drained. I stumbled inside, my emotions too raw to process. I needed to do something, anything, to get through this.
I went straight to my bedroom, collapsing onto the bed. My phone buzzed with notifications—messages from friends, fans, and news outlets—all buzzing about the breakup. It was overwhelming, but I knew I needed to address it. Ignoring it wasn’t an option. The public needed to hear from me directly.
With a deep breath, I retrieved my camera and set it up on the tripod. The familiar setup gave me a small sense of control. I hit record, sitting in front of the camera with a mixture of determination and despair.
“Hey, everyone,” I began, trying to steady my voice. “I’m making this video because I need to clear the air about the rumors you’ve been hearing.”
I paused, my heart pounding as I gathered my thoughts. “Hyunjin and I have broken up. We decided to end our relationship, and while it was a mutual decision, it wasn’t one that came easily for me. I’m still processing everything, and it’s been really hard.”
My voice wavered, and I took a moment to collect myself. “The truth is, I didn’t want things to end. I loved Hyunjin deeply, and it’s painful to know that he’s moved on. We both had busy schedules, and it felt like we were constantly fighting to find time for each other. But relationships are supposed to face challenges, and I thought we could work through them.”
I glanced down, blinking back tears. “It’s not that I’m blaming him. I understand his reasons, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I wish I could be angry. I wish I had a reason to hate him for leaving, but the reality is that he did nothing wrong. He was trying to do what was best for both of us, and that’s what makes this so hard.”
The tears started to fall, and I wiped them away with the back of my hand. “I know this will be hard for many of you to hear. We’ve been public figures for a long time, and I appreciate all the love and support you’ve given us. But now, I need to focus on healing and moving forward. I hope you understand.”
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to look directly into the camera. “Thank you for your support and understanding. It means more than you know. I’m going to be okay, eventually. It’s just going to take time. Please take care of yourselves too, and know that it’s okay to feel sad. We’re all in this together.”
I reached out and stopped the recording, the finality of the video sinking in. It was a moment of closure, but also a stark reminder of the pain that lay ahead.
After uploading the video, I sat quietly, letting the silence of my apartment envelop me. My phone buzzed with a flurry of notifications, but I didn’t have the strength to check them just yet. I was emotionally exhausted, and I needed to find some semblance of normalcy amidst the chaos.
I walked over to the window, gazing out at the city below. The world kept turning, even as my own life felt like it had come to a halt. Somewhere out there, Hyunjin was probably dealing with his own feelings and trying to move on. It was a strange comfort to know that we were both navigating this difficult journey, even if apart.
My phone buzzed again, and I saw a message from Han.
“Just wanted to check in on you. Remember, you’re stronger than you know.”
I managed a small smile, touched by his kindness. I typed back a quick reply: “Thanks, Hanley. I’ll be okay.”
The message was a small beacon of warmth in a sea of sorrow. I took another deep breath, trying to steady myself as I prepared for the long road of healing ahead.
I knew it would be a journey filled with ups and downs, but I was determined to face it head-on. I would find my way back to myself, and I would come out stronger on the other side.
As I sipped my coffee, feeling the warmth seep into my hands, I whispered to myself, “You’ve got this.”
And for the first time in a long while, I felt a flicker of hope. It wouldn’t be easy, but I believed I could handle whatever came next.
With the camera set aside and the video uploaded, I took one more look around my apartment. This was the beginning of a new chapter, and while the end of the relationship had left a painful void, I was ready to start filling it with new experiences and growth. It was time to move forward, to embrace the future, and to find strength in the journey ahead.
I'm sorry but wtaf are companies feeding their damn idols in 2024?? Because lemme tell you, my bias list is not at all stable rn for at least 3 of my ult groups.
Like,,,, Hyunjin obviously looking fine this era but like,,,, Han, Lee Know and Seungmin are looking at my bias list like 👀👀👀👀
Then I'm desperately trying to keep ahold of Seonghwa while Mingi and Hongjoong are just trying to step up while throwing down a glove as if it's a tournament
And my Enhypen bias finally settled on Jay and then Ni-Ki showed up :)))) and he's demanding to be let in. Especially after that Collab with Hyunjin for the Chk Chk Boom challenge. He be pounding on that door like Jack from The Shining istfg.
So this was a really long way of saying I'm being bias wrecked left right and center while I'm desperately trying to cling onto the biases I already have :)))
Notes: sub!f.reader, rough mean dom! Mingi, big dick! Mingi, Mingi is a big pervert, perverted actions, inappropriate touching (which isn’t okay), degrading, manhandling, somnophilia, masturbation, name calling, oral (f&m receiving), public sex, shower sex, unprotected sex (don’t), nasty thoughts, threesome with yunho, double penetration, mingi loves your tits/ass, sex addicted mingi, 69, anger issues, Mingi uses reader like a rag doll, daddy kink, size kink, breeding kink, bulge kink, dacryphilia, reader gets nipple piercings, cock warming, orgasm denial. forgot anything? maybe.
Words: 973
Mingi who sneaks glances down your top at every opportunity he gets and gets dizzy at how your bra delicately pushes your tits together.
Mingi who can’t keep his hands to himself when you’re out with the guys and his fingers just so “accidentally” end up inside your cunt.
Mingi who needs to touch your breasts every time he’s near you and gives them small slaps from underneath to see them jiggle.
Mingi who tells you how sexy you look and how much he would love to see you fall apart under him, what a whore you are for him, the perfect sex doll for him to use.
Mingi who can’t stop staring at how your ass cheeks appears from your shorts/skirt when you bend down to get something..
Mingi who sneaks up behind you and places his hands on your ass/cunt and breasts while he whispers nasty degrading words in your ear.
Mingi who gets railed up in a split second because you’re running through his mind 24/7.. nasty thoughts that is.
Mingi who can’t leave you alone when you’re taking a shower and joins you to “save water” he also gladly helps to ladder you up then pushing you up against the glass doors taking you deep from behind.
Mingi who sits and waits for you to get out of the shower with a towel wrapped around you only for him to hook his fingers on it making it fall off leaving you completely naked in front of him.
Mingi who can’t take disobedience from you and explodes with anger when you tease him a little too much and ends up manhandling the shit out of you and fucks you until you’re crying and begging for him to stop.
Mingi who loves to push down his hand on your lower abdomen to feel how deep his cock is buried inside you, watching the bulge on your stomach moving under your skin as he thrusts in and out.
Mingi who goes crazy over the thought of impregnating you, filling you with his cum and giving you his babies. no condoms here!! then he fingers back the cum into your pussy so nothing goes to waste.
Mingi who loves when you call him names like daddy or big boy, he gets sooo horny when those words roll off your lips. you’re his babygirl ofc.
Mingi who makes you cock warm him when he’s working on his music and teases you by bucking up his hips into yours, if you’re making any noise he put his big hand over your mouth and growls in your ear what’ll happen if you don’t do as you’re told.
Mingi who denies your orgasms and uses you until he himself gets to cum inside you and then leaves you hanging without an orgasm.
Mingi who gives you a small piece of chocolate when you’ve been a good girl swallowing his big load.
Mingi who wakes up in the middle of the night rock hard so he pulls your panties to the side, spreads your cheeks apart and pushes his hard thick cock inside your small pink pussy, fucking you until he’s cumming hard.
Mingi who traps you under his big body and tortures you with a vibrator and laughs at your weak state telling you how dumb and fucked out you look.
Mingi who happily would share you with a friend especially Yunho!! showing him what a nasty fuck toy you are, they love to fuck your pussy together splitting you open til your eyes turn white. the more the bigger damage on you.
Mingi who’s not so much into that cuddly stuff, he’d rather have you jumping up and down his dick tbh.
Mingi who takes pictures of your pussy and tits when you’re asleep, or even record when his cock slides in and out of your cunt to later use to get himself off to when he’s at work away from you.
Mingi who loves to use his big size against you (not just his big frame) to cage you in against a wall or how he easily gropes your tits in his big hands, or even wraps one hand around your neck. “my little one”
Mingi who’s acting like an innocent and loving man outside the bedroom but get him inside those walls and he turns into a cold maniac.
Mingi who does his best to show love on a normal healthy level and you adore him for that… but when the blood starts filling that man’s dick he can’t be stopped.
Mingi who’s addicted to your little pussy, he loves how you taste and how your hole squeezes his long tongue. he’s knuckles deep inside you until your white cream coats his thick fingers. he also loves when you do the “69” you riding his face while deepthroathing him at the same time.
Mingi who made you get nipple piercings cause he just love how hot you look with them and it gets him more excited knowing they’re his to play with.
Mingi who knows you play with yourself when he’s at work but he don’t want you to know that he knows so he watches from the crack in the door, the way your body looks on your big bed as you finger yourself makes him light headed and the insides of his pants gets stained from precum.
Mingi who never leaves you alone and constantly walks up to you or laying himself on top of you pressing his hard cock against your ass, dry humping is also very appreciated.
Mingi who lifts you over his shoulder and smacks your ass with the biggest smirk on his face.
Mingi who after sex presses his big chest against your back hugging you close his head nuzzling in your neck… his cock still buried inside you.
idk why ppl r so weird abt using it/its pronouns for those who want them used. it's exactly the same as using any other pronoun because people want them used. it's a respect thing the same as any other. "but it's dehumanizing" i think it/its users are fully fucking aware of that and use em on purpose
As an it/it's user myself, this is E X A C T L Y why I use them!! I began using it originally as a way to strip power away from people who would maliciously call me it BC of my gender and my expressionism etc but as time went on I actually began growing more actually feeling like an it/it's and I use it a lot online for myself!!