~Born to Make History~

I am inimitable, I am an original

[ellstersmash]

Things I have said to myself while writing smut:

listen bub, i may not know what the hell I’m doin here but I cannot believe you haven’t grabbed her boobs yet

Wait. Wait, are your pants still on?? How in the ever-loving FUCK–

…I’m not sure that mean what I think it means.

All right, we got hands on hands on hands. Where all my hands at? Hand check, everybody!

someday im either going to have to make shit up or try something new, and I am not known for that second one.

But if I use this line here I can never use it again………

this is completely unrealistic. Someone says that to me and I will laugh in their face.

…I wonder if I can still salvage this if I make her laugh in his face

nope that totally killed the mood, the mood is cold and dead and decidedly un-sexy, go bACK

Is that … plot?? In MY PORN ?!??

I’m pretty sure people don’t bend that way. Or maybe it’s just me? Maybe I’m weird and everyone else bends that way.

*takes a six-hour-long crash course in anatomy to confirm that they do not, in fact, bend that way*

Oh hell, let’s just leave it at a blowjob and go get a snack.

[ellstersmash]

In addition:

god i hope the ending writes itself because if i’m being honest with myself, i got nothin.

does my face look nonchalant enough to do this in public?

THINK ABOUT POLITICS

can anyone see my screen? what if I angle the screen this way, is that weird? ugh yes it’s totally weird everyone knows omg i can’t do this i have to go home

On the one hand, she deserves some good cunnilingus OK? but on the other hand I do not want to write it

*giggles* i can’t type that!

i HAVE to type that.

Let’s see, how many times have I used the word “cock”? …And how many times is acceptable?

I can’t even tell if this is hot anymore…

[thevikingwoman]

This is probably unrealistic but damn it, it’s my fantasy smut

What sort of warnings do I need to put on this?

Fuck I forgot she only has one arm!

[enchanted-phoenix-deactivated20]

Should I watch some porn for ideas? Yeah, I probably should.

Holy crap, people DO bend that way.

*blushing furiously*

Aw heck. Now I need to go take a cold shower.

[gangrelslut]

alright just a quick sexy drabble

… well i didn’t expect 5,000 words of angst but, look at that

[ygrittebardots]

the prince of egypt + the onion

[randomsplashes]

yuzuru giving his pooh a high five is the sweetest thing omg (x)

[flurgburgler]

My husband just referred to sand as heterosexual glitter

[orchidvioletindigo]

Explains why I hate it

[wordmage-girl]

[weavemama]

ya’ll this cool new site lets you know if a certain movie or TV show has any affiliation with anyone who was accused of sexual assault. this is important for those of us who are passionate about not supporting work that associates itself with sexual abusers, for the sake of the victims.

[weavemama]

we’re safe y’all

[atherys]

this is actually incredibly sweet

[the-last-of-the-frosty-boys]

95% of us:

[femchef]

@stopcallingmebitch

[grantcary]

A Knight’s Tale (2001)

[paintedimagining]

@hacash 

[hacash]

Fun fact: when this was filmed most of the extras didn’t speak English and as such, weren’t sure when they were meant to cheer. The awkward silence and Mark Addy’s cheer was all genuine.

[kars]

I am awake but at what price

[gaypriori]

I lost it at “2 bread”

[shownumetal]

1 gallon of regular chocolate

[watchthelightfade]

18 minutes of flour

[whitestonelovers]

5 plates of salt

[jhenne-bean]

the 5 lettuce salad microwaved for four minutes tho

[donnajosh]

Donna: Every year on Thanksgiving, the President pardons a turkey. CJ: He pardons a turkey? Donna: Yeah, and it’s your event, so…

[starkked]

[arpeggioem]

A selection of tracks from the SU OST

(I hit 15k followers a little while back, so here’s a super-belated thank you to all of you who continue to support me!)

[bizzzyboiee]

MEAT! HEAVEN! NOW!

[rebexquest]

she’s very powerful

[thegroundedkidsclub]

Edited this quote a bit to frame it and hang it up in my room, so here ya go

[tastefullyoffensive]

Amputee Josh Sundquist became Tigger for Halloween this year. [video]

[destiny-smasher]

My girlfriend @mollifiable is amazing and knows the ways to my heart; she made this to celebrate our one year anniversary.