im a cultured woman

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

[wayneradiotv]

insane push notif from twitter today

[catgirlcadaver-deactivated20241]

remember when harambe died

[z0mbiep1ush-deactivated20190610]

vine compilation titles then: OMG EPIC FAIL VINES 2015 😂😂😂 | SUBSCRIBE FOR A FREE IPHONE 6

vine compilation titles now: vines for when you want to forget about the trauma caused by your father leaving you when you were 3 years old

[sorrytobugyou]

[afloweroutofstone]

[sinkies]

don’t fucking look at me

[giggle]

me: i wish someone liked me

someone: [likes me]

me: i must fake my death and lie low for ten years

[memepants]

[toast-potent]

*steals jokes from The Simpsons but formats them in tumblr-post memes to make them seem like my own original jokes*

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

my son: ay carumba!

me: [picks him up by the throat and throttles him until he can’t breathe]

[pettysag-deactivated20180315]

I just love sleep so much ……. like u just close ur eyes and ur gone bitch ………… brain logged the fuck off ……… powerful

[cemeteryviolets]

[ricetrippycreeps]

[gentlemanbones]

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

[drownthearchitect-deactivated20]

@8bit-bastard

[d1rtypaws]

I hate that the Dairy Queen cashiers have to flip your blizzard upside down before giving it to you. I hate it. I know it’s most likely going to stay in it’s cup and I know I get a free one if it doesn’t, but the cocktail of a potential disaster and the cashier apologizing to what is most definitely a horrified me, having to sit in a drive-thru while someone behind me just bore witness to my fucking salted caramel blondie blizzard splattering on the asphalt, melting away while they mix me another one and i pray to god that they don’t flip it upside down again, is just a stress that I find entirely unnecessary. I trust it’s thick, just give me your word and i’ll be on my merry way.

[d1rtypaws]

I just imagined how it would feel to have them flip your second blizzard and have it spill too and I felt my shoulders physically tense

[mrgulogulo]

I’ve only been to DQ like 3 times in my life but the 2nd time I ordered a milkshake or something and I heard about DQ drinks not spilling when you flip them. I was not aware that this ability was only relegated to their blizzards. So long story short I said “hey, look at this” to my family and they watched me pour my milkshake on the ground.

[evil-britney]

*takes off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath*

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

you mean, skin?

[degenerate-perturbation]

What an absolutely terrifying addition to my post. Thank you.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i always imagined kiwi birds as the size of kiwi fruit and i was so wrong

[staccatostark-deactivated201811]

wait how big are they then

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

closer to pumpkins

[passionpeachy-deactivated202312]

that dog looks fucked I love him

[omega3]

[herotox-deactivated20150121]