“When I stumbled upon the door, deep, in the darkest hour of night, I had this feeling, I knew I was going to be alright. Try as I may, I could not stop, something called me to this place, again and again as I spiral down further. These books, though dusty and old they may be, these books are all that I can see! Yes, this place is so inviting, so calming, I cannot help but want to read more. Forever stuck in a book that writes itself, unaware that my own is locked and sealed, my fate was pre-written.”
================================================
“Hm? I’ve never seen you before, are you a newcomer perhaps? Or are you simply lost within these halls? Well, not to worry, I shall light your way.”
================================================
“Here, this one is about the librarian.”
(About The Librarian)
“That’s the catalogue, you can find everything from there.”
(Masterlist)
“There are three other libraries, you can find them below.”
(Visit Quotev?) (Visit Ao3?) (Visit Wattpad?)
“Oh? Did you have a request?”
(Requests Are Open)
“There are prompts too if you want!”
(Prompt List)
“These books are a bit too old for you...”
(SFW Side Blog)
“Even a library has rules!”
(Rules of the Library)
“The librarian writes for Jujutsu Kaisen, and The Arcana. Though, she is fickle, and fit to change.”
“Oh and before you go lovely, the librarian quite values her privacy. Please, do not put anything on a different site, nor translate it, without her explicit permission.”
In which L/N Y/N is a curse magnet. Hospitals are curse hotspots, with the memories of loved ones dying and the fear of those who are next. The stress and fatigue of overworked staff and the negative anticipation of what’s yet to come. You in particular always feel tired, like there’s a weight on your shoulder or a lack of motivation that arrives for no reason. It doesn’t help when you meet an interesting man working as a teacher with a sweet tooth to rival your own…. Whatever, you just want to make it through the day….
Note Before the Story: I do not write Naoya often, or anyone from the Zenin clan at that, so I'm sorry but he and Naobito are probably a little out of character. I attempted ;-;
Warnings: Slight spoilers for the Hidden Inventory Arc, Naoya as a general warning, prolly swearing too,
You wake up swaddled in your blanket and half off the couch, the TV playing some random infomercial you couldn't care less about. When you stretch it rips a low groan from you, bones cracking in feeble disagreement, though you've since gotten used to it, waking up without your blaring alarm still feels odd at times. Especially when the Sun rises before you do, black-out curtains shifted slightly from Gojo's meddling, allowing soft streaks of pale light to litter the room. A month ago, you would have been bothered. The sunlight brightening the room, blankets in the living room where they don't belong, your cup from last night still in the sink, your hair frazzled from having forgotten to wrap it. Now, you wonder why you ever cared. This house you bought is pretty, too big for one person, too empty and bleak and spotless and perfect. Now it feels like you’ve lived in it. It feels less lonely.
You shake your head, getting up with a soft groan to wash up and do something with your hair so you don't look so disheveled. Gojo, he tended to simply pop up in places, with his over-the-top smiles, the baritone his voice hit when he hid things from you, enjoying your struggles to keep up with him. The last thing you needed was for him to see you in such a state. So you brush your teeth and hop in the shower, thinking over last night again and again until it's seared in your mind; falling snow, strawberry roll cake, the bakery owner, the flush of his cheeks bitten raw from the cold, his pity, your vulnerability. It makes you dizzy almost, you don't know how to feel, Gojo and vulnerability were two things that were never supposed to occur at once, you and crying were two things that never happened in public....but that's how the cookie crumbles when dropped on the floor and stepped on over and over again. Still, a part of you, a part of you that you would swear to everyone doesn't exist, appreciates it....and another part fears it. Gojo saw you at your weakest, and he didn't make a big deal of it, he didn't console you in some over-the-top way, he treated it the way you had always wanted someone to treat it. He knew you, he knew you well...you let the hot water burn your skin, melting the thoughts away, but even as you do you can't help but press a hand to your hair, cheeks warm as you remember the feeling of him ruffling your hair.
--------------------------------
The Zenin clan won't be happy to see him. They never were really, and how could he blame them? He had Megumi under his care and at one point trained Maki, the daughter they swore was useless. (The thought of bothering them so much satisfies a petty part of him) Either way, it was about time he got answers, more answers, and time you got into the field, before everything was too dangerous for you to begin. He wonders if Naoya will be there, and if he is then....well, that causes its own set of issues depending. He never did find out how exactly you were related to the Zenins, Naoya's sister, but either in full or just half-siblings. And knowing the Zenins' traditional selves, and knowing how upset they already are at Maki and Mai's existence, you probably don't know either. He could see you staying silent or asking too, you managed to surprise him more than he liked. Regardless, what'll happen will happen, and he wouldn't let anything happen to you, nothing too bad at least. So he heads out, grabbing another scarf because he knows for a fact that you always forget to put one on. Normally he'd call but you never checked your phone anyway, surprising you was just a bonus.
But maybe he'd pick you up something on the way.
--------------------------------
Being unemployed is strange. For as long as you could remember you had responsibilities. Keep Leonidas out of trouble, deal with the Zenins' expectations, train your cursed energy, go to school, go to college, work as a doctor...and now you had so much free time that you couldn't begin to know what to do with it. You grimace as you pull on a shirt, fresh out of the shower and ready to do something with your time. You could stop by the bakery, of course, that was one of the only things that stayed consistent ever since Gojo appeared in your life...
You walk downstairs, your steps loud in your otherwise silent home, mumbling to yourself.
"I can hit the bakery first, then the store for ingredients, maybe-"
"Cancel your plans."
Your head snaps up in surprise, nearly falling down the last few stairs as you spot Gojo leaning against your counter, a paper bag in one hand. You glare at him, already irritated and he hasn't even done anything yet.
"Stop....apparating into my apartment, for the love of God." You say sternly, moving to stand in front of him. "And what do you mean 'cancel my plans'? You can't just change my schedule for your whims, Gojo."
"It's not a whim!" He complains, handing you the paper bag. "It's very important....and I brought compensation."
You sigh softly, grabbing your jacket while looking through the bag. It had a pack of green tea daifuku, something that immediately makes you laugh, pressing your hand to your face.
"You know I don't prefer the green tea version." You murmur, shrugging on your jacket, though even as you say it, you pop one into your mouth.
"Really? I had no idea."
You give him an exasperated look, grabbing the knife he gave you and putting it in your interior pocket. In all honesty, you needed to buy some kind of holster for it sooner or later, but it was a good choice on his part, not that you'd ever tell him. Combat knives....they're bulkier than the smooth, thin steel of the scalpels you're used to gingerly holding and slicing with, but you can appreciate the familiarity that comes with wielding a knife. You exit the house, not bothering to wait on him, you know he won't let you go far. And just as you thought, you hear the door open again, what you didn't expect was to be tugged backward, stumbling towards him. You look up at him, mildly surprised and very curious, only to feel soft fabric winding around your neck snuggly.
"You always forget to wear a scarf, and then you get cold." He says in a soft, almost chiding manner.
"I'm not a child....but thank you. Now, where are we going?" You ask gently, tugging the scarf to fit more comfortably around your neck, grateful for the additional warmth that you usually lacked. It smells kind of sweet, which tracks considering Gojo's horrendous diet. Still, just beneath it, you smelled something you couldn't quite put your finger on. Like one of those cologne sample patches you got in magazines, all smooth but somehow dizzying.
"Just to visit someone...special. They'll be happy to see you I'm sure."
You look at him in confusion, already debating going back inside, but before you can ask him anything, he's speaking up again, changing the topic.
"You know, did you ever figure out your cursed technique? Still refusing my help?"
You huff, arms crossed indignantly. "I have everything figured out and under control, I never needed your help.....and who is someone? What the hell are you roping me into now?"
He only smiles vaguely at you, changing the subject yet again. Though you've never seen his eyes, courtesy of his ever-present blindfold, you had begun imaging his face, somehow you knew the exact look he was giving you....bastard.
"It's a surprise! You'll find out soon enough." He turns and you find yourself following suit without question. As bothersome as he was, you couldn't help but enjoy some of the newness he brought, a stark change to your usual rigid schedule. "Your ability," He continues, still looking straight ahead. "What is it then? It seems useful."
You merely shake your head, holding back a grin. "Oh no, you can figure that out for yourself." You say nonchalantly, despite it all a meaner part of you still likes holding anything and everything over Gojo's head when you can. "I mean, unless you want to ask nicely."
"You're not that special, now."
"Wow."
There's a certain ease with which you can talk to Gojo, relaxed and casual, something you don't have with patients or coworkers. Though you're reluctant to admit it, maybe it's time to let go of your petty grudge against him. Yes, he was a bit of a prick in the beginning but....but maybe you were seeing him as a friend now(?) A train of thought you hate to entertain but know you must sooner or later.
"Cell manipulation, I think," you murmur, fog rises in front of you. "Fitting, right? Ironic."
And maybe he'll realize that that's your olive branch.
------A Few Minutes Pass
You don't realize where you are immediately, but the mere sight of the place, oddly familiar cobblestones, and high gates send an uncomfortable shiver down your spine. You glance at Gojo from your peripheral vision, but he has an easygoing smile plastered on his face, revealing nothing. So you look around instead, curious but unexplainably tense...
Then you see it and it all clicks into place; Blond hair with black tips, you almost don't recognize him but he still has that pompous look in his eyes, that feeling of looking down on others by default. Your gaze snaps to Gojo. "Why the hell are we here?" You grit out.
This time Gojo does frown, his head doesn't turn but you feel his eyes on you. "I don't enjoy this either, you know."
"That's not an answer in the slightest."
"I know....but this is important, it has to do with you."
You frown, still wanting to pry, to yell at him almost, but you so rarely see this man be serious....and the memories of this place still cling to your skin, making you feel quieter than usual. (Still, you refuse to let Gojo lead you, instead walking by his side. The idea of giving Naoya the satisfaction of yet another woman walking 'three steps behind a man' is sickening.)
"Who are we talking to?" You mumble, entering the building. You know it's only a matter of time before someone comes to see you too, you're sure one of the maids already ran off to tell them. "Are we even supposed to be here?"
"No," Gojo says simply, and he's just as arrogant as Naoya in that manner. "But I usually don't ask."
"You'll be the cause of my death. You and random curses."
You hear him laugh and you wonder if he'll respond, but before he can even be given the chance you see Naoya step into the hall, seemingly glaring at Gojo, and you stiffen. You're well aware that nothing he said to you in the past was true; women were more than wives, the children of Ogi weren't useless simply because they were women, you knew this. Still, standing in front of Naoya now, this man, once boy, whose attention you would foolishly vie for, deluding yourself into thinking he cared for you, sent nausea spiraling in your stomach. You keep silent, eyes narrowed as your mouth twists into a grimace, you can't decide between the need to walk away and panic or lash out at him in anger, so you choose to be still.
"You shouldn't be here."
Though he's still glaring at Gojo (who seems nothing short of amused, on a surface level) between Gojo's explanation of appearing whenever he wants and Naoya's tone which is mildly taken aback, you have a feeling he's referring to you. You peer up at Gojo but he only tilts his head....of course, the one time he doesn't butt his head into your affairs is also the one time you don't want to speak.
"Leonidas." You say after a short moment, swallowing thickly as your gaze slides back to your sibling. "And your deal with him....you don't seem at all upset that he died." It's an accusation, a pointed one at that, and you expect him to lie, the deal itself was illegal, after all. Even so, the way his lip curls says enough.
"There was no deal, he was never bound to this clan-"
You're close to aggression, stiffening beside Gojo who only smiles as usual (though his cursed energy makes your skin prickle) But the lot of you are cut off, the head of the clan, Naobito, appears from the hallway too...a gift that keeps on giving, rather unfortunately. You groan internally, glancing at Gojo, he's still smiling but over time you've realized that he isn't too hard to read, not if you just look at an angle. (a star too bright to be looked at directly you suppose, how fitting, all things considered) However, as disgruntling as this whole situation was, Naobito was far easier to deal with than Naoya, he wasn't nearly as spoiled or temperamental, from what little you remembered of him. That and....you had a feeling that Gojo's presence beside you was sparing you a lot of grief.
"It hasn't been that long since your last visit, Gojo," Naobito says plainly, eyeing him. "What now?"
Gojo says nothing for a moment, and you wonder if his smile irritates them as much as it, at times, irritates you.
"Y/N?"
You blink, looking up at him in thinly veiled surprise, but maybe you should have expected this…
"Leonidas." You say again, gaze drifting, though reluctantly, over to Naobito, ignoring Naoya's gaze burning into your skin. "What happened to him?" As annoying as it is to beat around the bush, you doubt either of them would respond well to another accusation.
"Toji's gone, there was no need for his 'services' anymore....we sent him away."
"And my mother?" You can't stop yourself before asking, and in the corner of your eye, you see Naoya stiffen. "Or are we still pretending she doesn't exist? Men cheat all the time, you aren't special, you know." And out of all the reactions you were bracing yourself for you weren't expecting him to laugh. (but maybe it was the alcohol in him, that much hadn't changed)
"Your mother, huh? Yeah, she was buxom."
You grimace, not bothering to hide it, there truly was a reason why you hated this place, and you will never understand how you managed to gaslight yourself so much as a kid into thinking these men were redeemable in any way.
"But we can all agree that she was my mother? Great, wonderful." You brush it off, sarcastically. "And Leo? You didn't just 'send him away' the entire situation was illegal." You grit out.
The clan head only laughs again, something sharp and almost admonishing, it's no wonder Naoya turned out the way he did.
"As far as I'm concerned Leonidas was a volunteer, he left all on his own."
You bite your lip, debating on whether to press further. But what good would come of it? You weren't Gojo or anyone else special, to them, you were just another woman. Staying here wouldn't yield any results, would it? Instead, you tug on the back of Gojo's jacket and you feel him looking at you.
"Well! Good seeing you, I'll be taking my student now." Gojo says brightly and you just sigh.
You can't say you care right now anyway, you’re more than ready to be away from your family, the most unfortunate part of your blood. Gojo tugs you along, hand on your wrist as you follow his lead....still, for someone so happy, his grip is a little tight. You glance at his hand, large and easily wrapping around the entirety of your skin, but, as you thought, you can see a vein popping up along the back of it. You stay silent for a long moment, letting him lead you away in long strides that force you to match his pace.
"Gojo." You say shortly after exiting the complex, eyes flicking up to his, but he doesn't respond or noticeably react....even though you know he heard you.
"Satoru."
You have to keep from shivering, the feeling of his eyes, the human ones, and the godly 6 others, snapping to your figure makes you swallow thickly.
"Are you....you know, are you alright?" You idly pick at the scarf looped around your neck, the fabric surprisingly soft, like cashmere almost. "You're touching me. Actually touching me." You point out. He hums, and you think he looks away, at least, you don't feel his gaze anymore.
"I don't see you as a threat." He says plainly, slowly down to a more steady walk. "Did you get the answers you wanted?"
"....I got what I needed." You say instead, moving up to walk by his side again, hand hanging limply as you don't care enough to tell him that he's still holding your wrist, though his grip is looser. "Earlier, you called me your student....why?"
That seems to make him lighten up, Gojo laughs, tilting his head towards you. "Starting from today, you are my student. I mean, how can someone as temperamental as you learn on their own? You're too stubborn. And-" He murmurs, stretching out the a conspiratorially. "Since you figured out your cursed technique, we can really get some work done. Healers are valuable ya know?"
You nod, sighing a little as you look at your arm, the earlier cut now gone without so much as a line left. But that was just you. Not anyone else, you barely knew how you got healing yourself down.
"And if I can't? Heal others I mean."
Gojo hums, fingers drumming against your arm rhythmically. You're pretty sure he's just turned you into a fidget toy at this point.
"I think you can." He says vaguely, his voice a quiet murmur. "Besides, can't be hard to test, right? You have it down now."
"...I wouldn't say I have it down." You grimace, a list of questions you still had regarding yourself popping up. "I know I said cell manipulation earlier, but I'm not sure if that's actually it....could just be accelerating the rate of mitosis. Then again, bone regrowth has a lot of factors, like stem cells and prohibiting and allowing apoptosis..." You mumble, brows pinching together while Gojo stares at you blankly.
"...you sound like Shoko."
You look at him, tilting your head. "Who....ah!" You tug at him, making him stop as you point at him accusatorily. "Who are these people!? Shoko, Nanamin, Tengen, your....your adopted children students! Stop saying names as if I know these people!"
Gojo bursts out laughing, letting go of your wrist to pat your head, his large hand heavy against you as you huff in mild frustration rather than any real anger.
"They're...friends of mine, friends and my students. I'm sure you'll meet them soon enough. In fact, you should really meet Maki one day, you guys already have one thing in common-"
"Hating drunk and peacock built men?" You say flatly, rolling your eyes, the sentence making him grin widely.
"Right, the Zenins....oh! That reminds me. You have a second technique." He starts walking again, and though you have no idea where, you follow him anyway, falling into step.
"Yeah, I know."
"Yep! You do, I noticed when- what?"
You blink at him, face carefully blank as you try not to show any amusement. As much you've come to enjoy Gojo's presence, to view him as an odd sort of friend, acquaintance, person thing, (you're still undecided on the exact label) you still love being ahead of him just as much.
"The weird magnetic shield break away thing. I know."
"...."
"...."
You break first, folding in half as you laugh, one hand gripping his arm before Gojo cracks a small grin at you, shaking his head. You know damn well what's coming, the interrogation the sharing of information, the leveraging. But for the first time you aren't scared or nauseated.
It took a long time, but you finally feel normal.
----
Yeah, I'm sorry, it's a long story, but I'm sorry. I can't promise that I'll be updating consistently, I've been writing this one chapter across a month so :/ Usually, I cap the chapters at about 1,600 - 1800 words but I figured it's been a while so whatever :p I just wrote, came back, and wrote some more until I got here. I will, hopefully, be posting some more non-cannon filler soon since Halloween is almost here :D so stay tuned, again, I am trying my damnedest to see this story through to the end.
In which L/N Y/N is a curse magnet. Hospitals are curse hotspots, with the memories of loved ones dying and the fear of those who are next. The stress and fatigue of overworked staff and the negative anticipation of what’s yet to come. You in particular always feel tired, like there’s a weight on your shoulder or a lack motivation that arrives for no reason. It doesn’t help when you meet an interesting man working as a teacher with a sweet tooth to rival your own…. Whatever, you just want to make it through the day….
Warnings: Swearing (not much), mentions of death and blood/gore (nothing that didn't happen in chapter 10)
Deja vu.
A feeling of unexplainable repetition that leaves you feeling dizzy.
Gojo's body slanted over yours, your hands picking up a desert, the sound of ambient chattering.
Deja vu.
"I would recommend the green tea version, Y/N."
"I personally prefer the nama kind, Gojo."
He leans away with a short laugh, taking a pack of hanabira mochi with him before smiling at you. You huff silently and ignore him, instead picking up your own dessert, a strawberry roll cake.
"Hm? You liked it?" Gojo comments behind you, noting your choice of flavor.
"....It's not the worst I guess." You murmur in reply, walking to the counter to check out. In all actuality you quite liked it, you liked strawberries and you liked the simple look, but there was no urgent need to tell him that. His ego was more than big enough as it was. You glance outside while you wait, after the first snow it had gotten worse, with the snow coming down steadily. You grimaced at your lack of a scarf.
"Um."
A small voice turns your attention away from the falling snow and instead towards the owner of the bakery, her shyness, for a slight moment, reminds you of Kokatsu and you find yourself freezing up. (You're far too distracted to feel Gojo's eyes on you)
"I just wanted to check on you after everything, are...are you alright?"
You smile softly in return, it seemed like her to worry, she seemed like a nice person. "I'm fine, thank you for worrying." You gently pat her hands before taking your bag, waiting patiently as she says something to Gojo as well, it isn't until the two of you leave the shop and rummage through your bags respectively that you see the gift she left you; hot cocoa bombs.
"These are cute." You hear Gojo state, you turn to look at him and watch as he examines the decorated shell, twisting it this way and that way to inspect the intricate design of chocolate swirls lining it; faux scenery of a snowy day, sweeter than the real bite of Winter. You hum in agreement, admiring the line work and the time you know it must have taken her to make such a thing, your eyes wandered back to your bomb, though carrying a different design it is just as pretty.
"I've never actually tried one before, they weren't around when I was kid."
"Hm? They're good, fun to watch. I think I'll give this to one of my students."
You glance at him and, almost subconsciously, note the flush covering the tip of his nose, the tops of his ears, and the breadth of his cheeks, he's pale, (doll-like as you've thought before) the chill seems to nip at him in a way that agitates you, while you lament the cold it makes him more doll-like than usual.
More handsome than usual.
"What are your students like, Gojo?"
A statement meant to cut off that poisonous train of thought, maybe not enough to last, not enough to nip it in the bud, but a way to stave it off until you can examine such a thing further in your own private time. Though you'll admit to being intrigued nonetheless.
He looks down at you, silent for a moment, before his face breaks out in a smile and he sparks up, beginning to ramble about his (precious) students. You can't say you mind, walking until you have a separate turn home, listening to him badger on about (now talking about his old students, one of which, though you've yet to realize, is related to you) how much they have grown and how they'll definitely be stronger than him. You chuckle lowly, shaking your head quietly. It's enjoyable, leaving darkness behind, despairing over snow rather than confusion and death - you should have known better than to think it would last.
"I never got to tell you,"
Gojo starts from beside you, smile gone and replaced with an emotion you can't read, or maybe you're simply unwilling to understand (pity or comradery, that would answer far too much)
"I'm sorry for your loss, all of it."
"Oh." You breathe, it's all you can do really, because as long as this time has felt it also feels as though you giving Leonidas cake yesterday, that Kokatsu was still at the desk, timidly asking questions and rushing about."
"You know, I never really considered Kokatsu a friend until she died, this coworker I had."
Gojo looks at you, humming in soft confusion at your words.
"But somehow," You continue quietly, watching the way your feet leave impressions in the snow as you walk. "Somehow seeing her dead right then, made everything hit all at once. I always liked her but I never realized how much until then. It's a shit feeling."
You feel Gojo's heavy hand land on top of your head, ruffling your hair in what you assumed to be a comforting gesture but he remains silent. Is he pondering the deaths of others too? As a sorcerer or as a friend? Or is it in the complicated overlapped space like yours?" Either you can't stop yourself from rambling, from unloading all the little things you had kept to yourself, too comforted by silence and the presence of warmth.
"It's funny I saw some of the people that died when I was trying to run." The image comes back to you easily, the scent of metal, scattered bodies, and the sheen of blood staining everything. "I told a lot of those people that they were going home, that they were okay and would see their families soon. God, some of them called their families or saw them in person, all just to die anyway. Turns out only 20 or so people lived in the end, and no one saw it, everyone thought it was a technical error or an attack, or, or, something, but no one saw the curse."
Without realizing you had begun to quietly cry, sniffling as the cold clung to your tears and stung your cheeks.
"You'll be a good sorcerer, Y/N."
You glance up at Gojo, eyes surely puffy and irritated as you swiped at your face with the sleeves of your jacket.
"Because you feel so much, so I'm sure you'll do a good job, that way less people will be hurt."
Oddly enough it comforts you.
You were curious, no matter what there was always something else about you. He hadn't expected your sudden vulnerability (though it satiated some unimportant part of him) but he guessed it only made sense, he was the only person you knew that was still alive after all. Still.
'Turns out only 20 or so people lived in the end'
That was good, the more people that lived the better but that hospital had been grounds for an incomplete domain. You had probably been too frantic to remember, you fainted in the end so he doubted you would have noticed since the domain was so loose but you hadn't been in the hospital. Usually, people can't leave a domain without breaking it, opening their own domain, or killing the curse (Nome of which happened), and even if they could he doubted the curse would have let them, so why did they get to leave? Why did the curse focus on you? (He wonders if it has anything to do with how you got to live in the first place.} Whenever he finds something another thing pops up and sends him back to the beginning, and you seem just as confused (probably more confused) as him. That reminds him, he never did tell you about that second ability of yours, and he needed to visit the Zenins again soon.
This time with you in tow.
You're drained when you make it home, drained and cold so you shiver from the temperature difference and hurry to the kitchen to make tea. With a blanket wrapped around you go to grab your kettle but change your mind mid-reach, instead grabbing milk and a mug to use the cocoa bomb the timid owner gifted you. The buzzing of the stove is the only thing you can hear while you wait for the milk to heat, it's a soft ambiance as your mind dully whirs through fragments of resurfaced memories, Kokatsu laughing, Leonidas smiling at you mischievously, they seem to alternate in appearance until the milk catches your attention by softly bubbling in your peripheral. The sight of the chocolate bomb imploding and filling your cup, the intricate design of piped ganache melting away into something unintelligible makes you smile. It's a sight they surely would have enjoyed, the first sip makes you think of your mother, this seems like something she would have had you and Leonidas make together when you were much younger. (You wonder if Noaya would've been allowed, then if his pride would have let him). You almost laugh at yourself then, no matter how different you and Leo, you and Naoya, or you and Kokatsu were you still always found a way back to them. (and now you cannot find that way back, and with Naoya, you can't imagine wanting to) You sit down on the couch and slowly warm up between the hot chocolate and the oversized blanket.
That night you dreamed of polarity.
Death. (Death Becomes Her is a really good old movie) anyways. Sorry for dying my family is giving top-tier "Why am I related to you guys" energy right now and I'm not gonna lie I'm this close to drop-kicking someone (my fingers are touching) I'm curious to see if anyone noticed that I left a hint to the hospital being a domain in Chapter 10 when reader only went down 7 stairs instead of ten, let me know >v< But I hope you guys have been well, stay safe and hopefully all you gamers have been enjoying the new game Nintendo released (I don't own Nintendo plz don-t sue me-)
TLDR; Did you notice the hint I left in chapter 10 👀? Sorry for being ded lol
BTW Mourir means "to die" in French, courtesy of Ecoute Cherie which is a song I'm obsessed with rn-
In which L/N Y/N is a curse magnet. Hospitals are curse hotspots, with the memories of loved ones dying and the fear of those who are next. The stress and fatigue of overworked staff and the negative anticipation of what’s yet to come. You in particular always feel tired, like there’s a weight on your shoulder or a lack motivation that arrives for no reason. It doesn’t help when you meet an interesting man working as a teacher with a sweet tooth to rival your own…. Whatever, you just want to make it through the day….
Warnings: Mentions of blood, death, and gore (flashbacks to the bakery chapter with the special grade curse)
Note: I always write these how I read them oddly enough which usually doesn't matter, but if you want to read this like a pro (Idfk) then you should read block 6 faster than normal and with slight urgency (block 6 is so vague why would keep track of that- I'm gonna mark it with an asterisk-)
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When Gojo leaves your house goes back to being empty, but somehow you no longer have that hollow feeling inside, that loneliness from before. It makes you huff out a smile as you heal your arm, watching the wound close. When you think back on it, you have no idea why you bought this house; a prison of two floors and two bedrooms, an oversized tub you use to drown your inner turmoil, a spacious kitchen meant to hold a family - or at least a couple - and a living room with enough room to hold a thousand and one memories, a living room you've left close to bare. It is a luxurious prison for sure, but a prison nonetheless, cold, steely, lonely, and quiet. However, as you watched your wound seal up and disappear, you realize that that is precisely why you bought it; cold, devoid of the warmth you once shared with a pained past, lonely, a place where you can work without distraction - no, where you can work to distract yourself- and quiet, so you can hear yourself only. Spacious so you can enjoy the freedom your younger self was not allowed.
Or maybe you're looking way too into it and you subconsciously hoped someone would fill this place for - with - you, that someone would ease your solitude. (Perhaps that's what Gojo is, an answer to unseen prayers)
You sit down carefully on the couch, the house buzzing with silence once more, all traces of your and Gojo's shared laughing are gone, and the memory leaves you feeling warmer than you'd like. Abruptly, your mind recalls Kokatsu's laugh all the same, frazzled and always somewhat panicky as you tried to calm her down, the bitter memory of her, of her life gone to waste, leaves you feeling gloomy as you stare at the spot where your arm once bled. Had you known sooner, had you not been a coward who threw everything away, had you simply been better you're sure she would still be alive. The thought makes you bite your lip harshly, a distraction from the heat building in your throat, from the sting of salt hidden behind your eyes. There is no comfort in your big, lonely house, and there is no repeat or dismissal of your regrets, but if you can make something of your life then it would all be worth it, you refuse to waste it away again.
"Maybe I should've accepted Gojo's help."
You murmur to yourself, unsatisfied with your current situation, but you were confident you could figure it out somehow; it was all medical anyway, what good was school if it didn't come in handy now? Still, thinking over that day, between yourself, Gojo, and the bakery, made you sick to your stomach. The image of blood spilled across the pristine floor comes to mind and it makes you groan, flopping fully onto the couch with one arm thrown over your face. Somehow feeling this queasy over a little blood made you embarrassed, it wasn't as if you hadn't seen worse. (but it was never supposed to happen to you) You push through it anyway, pushing aside your hurt pride and slight nauseation, you remembered everything from that day, the feeling of your bones cracking, the noise, your flesh reaching towards itself in an attempt to sew itself shut, waking up, the nurse and Gojo, her surprise when you were fully healed. There was nothing truly definitive there, although you supposed you weren't fully healed if bruising counted but-
*You shuffle upright immediately, furrowing your brows as you thought over it again (though you weren't sure if remembering everything so clearly was a good or bad thing) you hadn't been fully healed, being thrown to the ground so suddenly had left bruises scattered across you skin even when everything else had gone, when hadn't your bruises left too? Bruises were a part of the healing process in general although with them still being there maybe your ability only heals fatal wounds? No, a small cut to your arm and even smaller needle pinpricks were nothing of serious note, nothing life-threatening. The only real difference was that bruises weren't cells but that shouldn't matter since capillaries are made of cells, maybe it's different because they have two layers of cells? No, human flesh has three layers without including bones, bruises aren't caused by damaged capillaries anyway, it's the blood. My technique doesn't do anything with blood, most likely because the cells die when they exit the body, is it cell-based then?*
... Cell-based, that would be an interesting idea to explore. Would that be forcing your cells to repair themselves? No, that didn't make sense, anything cells hit would have died, you can't really repair what no longer exists. You sigh out, laying back down to sink into the couch, somewhat tired from the sudden realization. Cell-based and healing. Healing itself was grounded in mitosis, new cells had to be made to replace old cells, not that it happened at a nearly fast enough rate to be near instantaneous. (though nothing about this situation was particularly normal) It made sense though, the leftover bruising, it not healing when you were unconscious, the feeling of your veins struggling to reconnect, the feeling of each individual cell trying to reproduce.
"I guess that would be....cell manipulation?"
It wasn't a concrete answer, but it was enough to make you smile.
------
Gojo views in many different lights, but the biggest, the most important, is when he views you from the way everything seems to be connected to you.
The death of a highly needed sealing artist (manipulator, he reminds himself), the existence of two special grade curses in the same general area within the span of a month, the appearance of who Yuuji described as patch face, and the death of that Junpei kid, even the restless activity among curses and those two curses capable of speech he meant. Yes, he knew it was, at least in part, a result of Sukuna's awakening within Yuuji. Still, he didn't quite believe that your connection to all of this was simply coincidental (or maybe he's giving himself an excuse to analyze you without feeling creepy). He sighed instead, leaning back, as much as he was okay with you discovering your abilities on your own he could admit that it did bring him irritation, you were so smart and yet so oblivious at the same time, meanwhile, he was ready to advance to the next step. With everything going on having you as a sorcerer would no doubt be helpful, it might get the Zenin clan off Maki and Megumi's backs long enough for them to be promoted too (though he wasn't completely sure if that was a good thing since they'd be paying attention to you instead) Another sign as he mindlessly fidgeted with his phone, he was tired in a way he hadn't been for a while, all this worrying and all this overthinking was getting to him.
His eyes shift towards the sky where small particles of snow fell slowly to the Earth, in a moment of childishness, or maybe a moment of weakness, he sticks his tongue out to catch one; it's cold and wet, as anyone would have expected. He chuckles to himself, pushing himself away from the balcony to leave his house, his all too big, lonely house that resembles yours. Maybe he'll visit his students, the cold inside, rather than outside, is suffocating him. Plus, he's sure they'll be surprised to see him without all the pastries for once.
He doesn't rush on his way over there (nor does he drive since he's supposed to save people, not kill them) instead he listens to the way the fresh snow crunches under his shoes, the way he can feel it when he sometimes can't feel anything else (his cowardice shines through his infinity) and simply breathes in the cold air. What stops him, though he nearly corrects himself to "who" he has yet to see the person, is the glow of a bakery late at night, with posters stuck to the wall, a bakery he was sure was going to slowly disappear (you would laugh at him, he could feel it now). He huffs, ignoring the fog that sprouts from it, and waltzes inside, the warm and sweet smelling air contrasts the chilly landscape outside greatly, as does the loud chime of the bell overhead when compared to the previous silence. The girl, the owner whom he had comforted during that time, popped up from beneath the counter to look at him with surprise before her face softened.
"I'm not actually open yet, but I can make an exception this time."
He visits the students with his arms laden with sweets.
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Explanation: Just to ensure there's no confusion the reader's ability is cell manipulation, to what extent and proficiency will be explored later. "What happened in block 6? Medical but not sounding like a deranged man please" Bruising is caused by capillaries bursting, the blood released from this destroyed capillary sits under the skin, changing the color appearance. Blood is a cell however once it exits the capillary like that it dies, so it will no longer be recognized as something that needs to be healed (you can't heal what's dead) Reader has bruises left because she manipulated the pace of cell division, by forcing it to occur super fast her flesh and stuff grew back :D however, since the blood cells died and she didn't speed up the process of white blood cells consuming the dead blood cells some bruises remained (hopefully that made sense ._.)
TLDR; Reader's ability is cell manipulation and will be explained further later, it should be noted that bruises are caused by the color of dead blood cells, hence why they weren't healed.
-Kyu <33
In which L/N Y/N is a curse magnet. Hospitals are curse hotspots, with the memories of loved ones dying and the fear of those who are next. The stress and fatigue of overworked staff and the negative anticipation of what’s yet to come. You in particular always feel tired, like there’s a weight on your shoulder or a lack motivation that arrives for no reason. It doesn’t help when you meet an interesting man working as a teacher with a sweet tooth to rival your own…. Whatever, you just want to make it through the day….
Warnings: self-harm technically, it's hard to explain but it's not caused by the mental state, blood - not gore or descriptive, a spoiler but not really, you might not see it unless you know about it, it isn't that bad.
You had already developed a second technique.
It was a detail that had slipped from Gojo's mind until he was walking back to his home late at night, face bitten red by the onslaught of cold wind. The same way he had his infinity you had whatever barrier you had managed to erect over yourself in your sleep, (which unfortunately meant you were unaware of this) something that had also given you slight protection from a special grade curse which was curious. Still, if that 'barrier' was a seal then there was a chance the only reason it was so effective was because of Mamoru's leftover cursed energy, it might have 'manipulated' (as you said, not him) your energy. The only thing was he had no way of checking, he had since disabled the rest of Mamoru's hold over you, the last remains of his seal art, so anything you did henceforth were your own capabilities but he, as well as you, had no idea how you put up that 'barrier' to begin with you. Unfortunately, putting you into a similar life or death situation wasn't an option yet, since you were still learning and all. He sighed, his tiredness only visible to the moon as the street was completely quiet, devoid of life aside from him. He supposed there was a chance that that wasn't a standard technique as well, it could, though not likely, be a barrier expansion on a low level wrapped around yourself, similar to a simple domain. Still, even if it wasn't likely if you had managed to pull that off subconsciously then it would be quite an impressive feat, more than that however, was your uncanny ability to lure curses to you.
He had wondered about that and thought it was strange, it wasn't unlikely to have a curse attached to you, no, especially not low-level curses, they liked using non-shamans as a way to passively get stronger after all. However, for a curse, no, for multiple curses to attach themselves to you despite Mamaru's seals, and later despite his own cursed energy on you, was perplexing, to say the least. Worse still was that it hadn't happened as of late and he didn't know why, there were two likely options, though one was less likely than the other- the first is that one of Mamoru's seals had a quality that attracted curses, though why he would do that was beyond him, and the second, the most likely option, was that it was a side effect (or the primary effect he supposed) of your ability. He frowned, for you to be so new to sorcery, so unaware of certain things, you were certainly quite the annoying little mystery.
The human body is diverse, complicated, nuanced, and balanced in an insane, difficult way, this was something you were all too aware of. However, there were certain facts regarding the human body that one could always count on. You had decided, after lamenting the idea of getting out of bed for a rough hour or so, that instead of uselessly questioning the extent of your abilities you should test them. There weren't many things you thought could be the cause of your technique, time reversal - the obvious option, a rough version of reverse cursed technique that was easier than actual reversed cursed technique, or a stockpiling ability that allowed you to transfer one component into healing (which would make sense since you hadn't used your technique in years anyway), The only problem was differentiating from the lot, you weren't sure how to do such.
Still, for now, you sliced a thin line across the length of your arm with the tanto Gojo lent you to experiment with later, at least if it was a form of time reversal then it shouldn't matter when you hurt yourself, you should, hypothetically, be able to heal later. Somehow, you note silently, dully watching your blood bubble up and weep across your skin before you tenderly wrap the wound, somehow, self-inflicted wounds hurt more than unexpected ones, you wondered why. When you finish tucking the end of the bandage inside so you can move freely without worrying about it. You run a hand through your hair, wincing at the slight stretch it causes within your newly injured arm, and stand to clean off your blade (lest whoever really owns you kills you rusting such a nice piece since Gojo apparently also 'borrowed' it from someone) the best thing to start with, you think, is the stockpiling theory. Normal techniques require cursed energy and will make the user tired - you slowly run a dry cloth along the edge of the blade, stopping your thoughts momentarily to ensure you don't nick your fingers and bloody it all over again - so a stockpiling ability, supposedly, could be used so long a the 'thing' being stockpiled remained, which meant you also needed to find out what was being-
"I wasn't expecting you to fight with that so soon, women are scary huh?"
"Where the hell did you come from?"
Directly next to you, leaning against your counter, was Gojo with an armful of bags as always.
"Did I scare you or something? That's hilarious."
You only glare at him and rinse off the blade again, his scare, unfortunately, made you cut yourself again, you grumble quietly to yourself as you begin drying it for the second time, unaware of the way Gojo tilts his head at you.
"Even if it's small you should heal all of your wounds, s'good practice. What happened to your arm?"
You glance at him passively, stretching to reach the mineral oil so you could lubricate your current weapon and sheath it before you get cut again, you shiver at the familiar, yet still unnerving, feeling of Gojo's eyes on you.
"I'm testing something, I figured if my skill is time-based it won't matter if I'm cut for an hour or two."
"Hm." He smiles at you and drops one of his many bags on the counter, pushing it toward you. "It's not, sorry."
You only stare at him, unable to choose between being irritated at his sudden appearance and lack of personal space or curiosity at his sudden claim. You choose neither, deciding instead to sheath the tanto and pick up one of the desserts in the bag now lying next to you (saka-manju, a good choice and another reminder that Winter is on top of you)
"At the bakery, when you woke up you were fully healed but you were hospitalized anyway, which means you were injured at that point, but you also said your ability activated beforehand." Gojo murmurs through a rice cracker.
"So it has to be actively used whereas time reversal would have finished." You finished quietly, eyebrows furrowing as you bite into the paste-filled bun, if that was the case then it most likely wasn't a form of reverse-cursed technique either, since that was usually instantaneous, although you supposed it was still a possibility.
"Don't frown like that, your face will get stuck" Gojo chides you playfully and you only huff in response, wiping a stray spot of red off your face.
"Believe it or not there's actually some truth in that, frowning causes more wrinkles senior."
Gojo groans loudly, face twisting comically as you watch with raised brows.
"I am no senior, like I said, I'm young and cute!"
"You're still putting too much weight on 'cute' but sure."
Gojo hums again and walks over to your couch, flopping down against it. You've all but given up on stopping him.
"If I had to say, Y/N, your ability is probably-"
You stop him with a shake of your head, sitting on the other end of the couch with one leg propped over the other, you're aware that it's petty, that it's more useless than it is useful, that you're only being a detriment to yourself but-
"I want to find out for myself, not that I wouldn't believe you but I want to figure something out for myself."
Gojo remains silent, his body still, but when you look over at him he's smiling, it's another moment where he seems a bit more free than normal, where you wish you could see his eyes because maybe, just maybe, you could-
"Gojo? If you don't mind me asking, why do you keep your eyes covered?"
He turns his head to face you, no, his shoulder tilt, his spine rotates, his hips pivots, he turns himself to face you, still with that semi-unguarded feeling about him, still with that light smile on his face and a part of you truly thinks he might tell you but you're also more than aware of how he can be, of him.
"My eyes, they're just too beautiful for this world, you'll explode if you see them."
He says it dramatically, with a pout that seems genuinely sad, if you could see his eyes you're sure they'd be watering, leaking false tears across the sharp line of his face and so dramatic that you can't help the laugh it pulls from you, the amusement that sparks up. It's so dramatic that not a single part of you is mad or dejected or curious, and you're fine with that, you're happy with it because it feels good.
It feels good to laugh.
You remind him of a lot. His students, himself, that old friend from long ago, you're such a mixed bag that all he can label it as is 'you'. In all honesty, he wasn't expecting you to reject his help so thoughtfully (it's one of the kindest rejections he's ever received) you're usually so...ravenous(?) for information, but this time you seemed dejected, almost disappointed in yourself.
"I want to find out for myself"
He finds himself smiling again, he could respect that. He wasn't expecting you to laugh with him either, you're always surprising him it seems, sometimes in good ways, sometimes in confusing ways, rarely in bad ways. He huffs, glancing around at the shops setting up their new supplies, scarves, gloves, common Winter desserts, and gift wrapping paper for presents. It wouldn't be long before the first snow happened, he wondered if the students would like that, Megumi didn't seem to care for it so much (though Tsumiki always did) but Yuuji and Nobara seemed to bring out the best in him. Oh, that reminded him, he completely forgot to mention that you might have adapted a second technique, he got too wrapped up in things it seemed. Although, now that he thought about it he had to wonder.
Did you like watching the first snow too?
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Hopefully this wasn't trash anyway- Hi! :D It's me and my search history is cursed, I had to look up how to clean a bloody blade and if there was a time limit on it so that was a fun train of thought to get lost on, turns out blood will rust a blade very fast so uhh... the more you know :/ In any case, thanks for reading! I'm trying to not take 2 month long breaks from writer's block so hopefully that works lol, as always stay safe and if I missed a warning lmk!
-Kyu<3
TLDR: Hi, hopefully this wasn't trash- My search history is now quite concerning but thank you for reading this <3 if I missed a warning lmk but stay safe as always!
“Hey you never sent me this and I’ve been trying to wait patiently but I’m ready to scream. Get your shit together, dickhead.”
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