Mistrum Maxwell

20 year old bisexual genderfluid Australian audio engineer. She/They

[l0rm]

I will kill a man in 1987.

[l0rm]

Coming out as bi was like I had been in the closet for a few years and then came out wearing the exact same clothes saying "don't I look fab?"

Coming out as trans was more like walking into the boys change room and immediately turning the fuck around.

[mtsodie]

mine computer keeps making error noises randomly . dunno why but its prolly not good

[l0rm]

It just wants a friend to talk to

[ink-the-artist]

i am. quite high rn and unreasonably delighted by the little pride flags that appear when u like queer posts. that shit is so cute

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

I wish I were born a girl with narrower shoulders and wider hips

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

I should be asleep

[romanceyourdemons]

research for the hamlet isekai is getting serious

[romanceyourdemons]

learning a lot

[pissvortex]

Excuse me heroin addicted teenage Walmart employee can you unlock the cabinet full of things to put up my ass please

[l0rm]

God sometimes working in a school sucks because I'll want to know how much money I can spend on a project and they will just be like "well how much do you need" but like. I can do this for $50 or $50,000 I'm trying to use as much budget as you will let me

[l0rm]

Update: just do shit and it works out

[klapollo]

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

[klapollo]

[cutecipher]

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

[batshit-auspol]

Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

[batshit-auspol]

Imagine being on a work call with an Aussie and they suddenly announce they're gonna blow a load in response to a problem.

[fred-the-dinosaur]

Not Aussie but I asked an American once if she was taking the piss ( i.e. pulling my leg, joking. Perfectly cromulent and friendly english expression)

and she got really upset because she thought I was threatening to piss ON her

[honiibbang]

This is killing me

[batshit-auspol]

Rifling through the tags, here's some other terms which are apparently causing mass carnage whenever they escape our borders:

Having a goon (i.e. Sipping on a delightful wine)

Having a gaytime (Eating an icecream)

Having a sticky beak (Investigating)

Take a squiz (To have a sticky beak)

Get stuffed (To express a revelation is most frightful)

Chuck a sickie (Take a day off work due to the humours being misaligned)

Chuck a wobbly (When one's temperament becomes visibly upset)

Carry on like a pork chop (Acting most silly indeed)

Thongs (flip flops)

Hot chook (Pre-cooked supermarket rotisserie chicken, otherwise known as the Bachelor's Handbag)

Fair suck of the sauce bottle (Let's be real)

Shits me to tears (Something is mildly annoying)

Not here to fuck spiders (Expressing a situation is serious)

Having a piss-up (A social gathering)

I'll shout you (offering to goon an old chum)

A cruisy place (a relaxed atmosphere, where one might shout and goon the night away while enjoying many a gaytime in your favourite thongs)

[buginateacup]

Some usamerican friends of mine recently learned the Aussie meaning of snail trail (the line of hair from the bellybutton heading south). They were horrified to say the least

[l0rm]

God sometimes working in a school sucks because I'll want to know how much money I can spend on a project and they will just be like "well how much do you need" but like. I can do this for $50 or $50,000 I'm trying to use as much budget as you will let me

[wholesome-animal-images]

[sashaforthewin]

[memories]

Sally sells #gender by the sea shore.

[l0rm]

[actualized-animal]

Did You Learn?

you can lie on the floor in your home and the Soft Baby who lives there will approach you. this will increase your chance of contact with Nose Wet by 75%

[l0rm]

It's crazy working in a music department and being by far the worst musician