Mistrum Maxwell

20y/o, she/they Big into microphones

[l0rm]

I will kill a man in 1987.

[terramythos]

apparently amazon's AI catastrophically fucked up and equated bytes with gigabytes so started billing aws customers literally billions of dollars for their data usage

[terramythos]

the percentage increase. i'm fucking wheezing

[ralfmaximus]

They're hoping somebody's AI accountant blindly pays their bill.

[assaultmystic]

a quirk of sexting while british is switching from arse to ass. i would never fuck someone in the arse. its impolite.

[evilneo]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Who wants to hear a DIY tiling pro tip that the experts won't tell you

[hazelriver74]

Yes!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Do not drop your phone into the bucket of tile adhesive. This step is actually completely unnecessary and massively complicates the tiling process.

[fueles]

You say this but my uncle is a tiler and he swears by the “drop phone in putty bucket” technique. I think you’re just posting this for clout

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your uncle is caught up in a tradition that he was taught as an apprentice that he never questioned. Modern putty doesn't require phone, the formula has changed.

[perfectly-disfigured]

MY uncle says some customers still demand the phone putty technique because it "doesn't look right otherwise"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Drop an empty phone case in and those customers can't tell the fucking difference because there is no fucking difference.

[gremlininho]

looking. at you

[daily-grian]

Let's put soggy Grian in one of those box dryers for cats

He's being fluffed

[machinot]

bad news for chocolate lovers: amid massive corporate downsizing, Lindt has had to euthanize 2,000 of its handsome european chocolate chefs . an additional 1,300 will be thrown out in the cold with nothing but their stupid Fucking whisks

[markovchaingang]

Let me put this in terms you can fucking understand. your cousin, who will be at the "IRL meet-up event" this thanksgiving, has changed quite a bit and is "lowkirkenuinely" now a "pinkpilled" "foidmaxxer" and i'm asking you not to give her "spiked cortisol levels" about it

[artbyblastweave]

Now obviously the hard part of launching a land invasion of Heaven will figuring out where they hid the hole. Finding the miniscule aperture, the hole in physical reality to which all souls are translocated at the moment of death, and then jamming something sturdy in there, getting it in reallll good and working it around until it's big enough to fit some guys with guns through. But the nice part is that the nature of Heaven means that, one, not many people get in in the first place, and two, none of them are good at fighting, because people who're good at fighting mostly don't go to heaven. Except us, when we find the hole. The point is that once we're in there's not much they're gonna be able to do. Pretty much we'll have free run of the place

[artbyblastweave]

Update! So we forgot about God

[itsapmseymour]

I’m so tired man.

[tomatoshapedstars]

Shall I blow them up my liege?

[itsapmseymour]

Take out the rice cooker I mentioned in tags first cause that blue ai rice logo is the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen.

and I read twitter posts for entertainment-

[l0rm]

My new hair dryer has an ai button

[i-am-a-fish]

here's a reminder to DO IT! but only if you want

[puddox]

[kupicx]

[jetix]

2024-09-21

[daily-weasel]

[mammalidentifier]

Mountain weasel (Mustela altaica)

[professorsparklepants]

#it fucken sumny (via @mindfulwrath)

[feminist-space]

[official-lucifers-child]

the wemther brothers

[ontologicallyevilseme]

getting an evil spirit put inside you without your knowledge or consent is basically a classic childhood experience

[nicolegendary]

"this is what ive BEEN saying" - me about a thought that 99% only exists in my brain and i maybe mentioned briefly in one tag once

[geardrops]

"i don't think i've mentioned this but" - me about something i have said 847620938 times before

[critowski]

Oh Little Dog how much I love you’re dances