yoo-hoo!

annie/she/her/26

[jame7t]

there’s a war between Sucking and Fucking

[jame7t]

you people cannot be trusted in the war room

[plumerii]

dude your brave and loyal knight fucking bit me

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[tsarina-anadyomene]

uh i understand your knight kink post is engaging with the literary construct of the knight rather than the historical actually existing social role but you really failed to engage with the themes and tropes of late medieval grail literature

[tatzelwurming]

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

[e-102]

you’ are biased against my skull

[tatzelwurming]

i’m not having this argument again man

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

me normally: i'm not personally a huge fan of modern art

me around right wingers: I love modern art sooooo much and I think there should be litter boxes in schools also

[theonlycabbage]

fucking obliterated lmao

[angstbotfic]

[boltlightning]

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

[trekkiesagainstchastity]

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

[boltlightning]

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[softwaring]

[deepspaceboytoy]

The human mind is incredible. Some of you are capable of seeing the Beatles as sexual beings

[karvina]

stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your pussy. ok now stop thinking with your pussy and start thinking with your dick again. meditate on the differences between them. call me back when you get it.

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

it's really funny how the entire world basically just blew the fuck up six short years ago and nobody wants to admit that that may have had some lasting consequences lmao

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

like so much of Everything today is premised on the idea that the earth-shattering catastrophe which happened within living memory of everyone older than a third grader has had no meaningful material or psychological effects on the general public and i don't think that's good, lol.

"(some of) the top-line economic indicators (sorta) recovered (in most places) so everything is fine and we don't need to talk about it" is not a sustainable framework for interfacing with reality

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

"why is everyone so angry and paranoid now?" "why is politics so dysfunctional now?" "why is [x] [y] and [z] now? blah blah blah"

2020:

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?

Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

[tenorgender]

god didn't give me a dick because he knew I'd get hard when I heard a rich choral harmony

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

I beg your sweet fucking pardon

[downwithpeople]

you and me are going to outlive this website. you and me are going to outlive everything. one day it will just be you and me

[downwithpeople]

some people have tagged this with their various favourite fictional characters or even worse, their friends and lovers. let me be crystal fucking clear. it’s going to be you. and me.