The Drunken Mandalorian

Puns, Tea, Movies and stuff Buckysrightarmcrank on AO3

[booksandchainmail]

is there anything as good as lying in a sunbeam

[gobusto]

telling the truth in a sunbeam #honesty

[computationalcalculator]

[what-even-is-thiss]

I think that now I’m one of those evil people in the movies that thinks an AI can’t be a person. I’m the guy saying that your robot girlfriend isn’t real. They’re gonna kill me during the matrix wars.

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[anthraxofeffervescence]

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

[bloodyraven1001]

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

[ariaste]

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

[horizon-penblade]

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

[suigintou]

deliriously ripping open the sexy fishnet tights of a beautiful woman named bag of mandarins

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[tramontane-fire]

Reblog if you are Bad Queer Representation.

[thunderbottle]

they should let me design tshirts

[thunderbottle]

i really struck a chord here didnt i

[pmamtraveller]

Mammal in a Sunday Dress, by Georgina M. Cox, 2026

[kosmogrl]

august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good august will be good

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

my farming sim game will have animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop to act as a lightning rod to draw all the discourse and thinkpieces away from topics that would annoy me more

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

in my farming sim game that has animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop, shipped products will be sold on a weekly basis, not a daily one. you get a big windfall once a week and then you budget around that. if you want more money in the interim you have to go sell to the local merchants whatever products they specialize in.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

in my farming sim game, getting married to one of the townspeople will have a significant impact on your gameplay. if you marry the rival farmer, their smaller farm will be merged with yours. if you marry the town alchemist/doctor you get a buff to all your alchemy and you wake up from getting knocked out in your own home instead of their clinic. if you marry the priestess she uh, idk she does weather related divine magic for you so you can choose the weather, idk i haven't thought too hard about that one yet

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

my farming sim game will have a MILF you can actually F

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

these tags are probably a joke but genuinely i do think that more games with romance candidates in general should require you to at least be on friendly terms with their family/close friends before they will romance/marry you. so yes. romancing the MILF will require attending her kid's pretend tea party first. to prove you mean business

[guillotinedream]

Project zomboid devs reading this before adding it to the roadmap

[the-haiku-bot]

Project zomboid devs

reading this before adding

it to the roadmap

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[pangur-and-grim]

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

[pangur-and-grim]

[pangur-and-grim]

I face-timed to ask if he waved, and he (again, very calmly and politely) explained that while yes, he did wave, they were already above the clouds and thus it would have been impossible for me to see. I decided not to press the matter bc it was honestly really cute that he'd actually waved

[mademoiseli]

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

[atonau]

THE NOTES ARE BROKEN!  This has been reblogged so many times, Tumblr just shrugged and said “infinity”

[oifaaa]

Imagine being the avatar that single handedly saved the world several times and brought back the whole air bender population from the brink of extinction and some cunt still has the nerve to say "the previous avatar let us down" Korra should have ended the world sooner

[diminuel]

"I know you must remember it! You weren't dropped on your head as a child!! Think!!"

Shanks cannot hear another word about what a great father Garling is.

[blondebrainpowered]

Cat paw prints in the medieval floor tiles of the 12th century CE St Peter Church in Wormleighton, England

[wetheurban]

You don’t owe anyone access to the parts of you they can’t hold with care. Not even your mother. Not even your father.

[thetrekkiehasthephonebox]

the best fanfic is the one the author had fun writing actually.

[thetrekkiehasthephonebox]

the second best is the one the author used to work through some issues.

[mikkeneko]

the third best is the one the author wrote out of spite due to some really dogshit discourse going on in their fandom