I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm easily frightened

29│Germany│she/her or they/them

[jiiin22]

the bravest human

[queenklu]

Hey so listen. I’ve only played Witcher 3 and watched the Witcher show, I know the canon is that Geralt just keeps getting brown horses and calling them all Roach BUT

it would be REALLY, REALLY FUNNY….if Roach has been the same horse for like…..fifty years…..and Geralt doesn’t notice his horse is magic, because how long do horses live? 100? This is Fine. Horses, he’s found, are surprisingly sturdy. One time a catastrophic storm sank Geralt’s ship and drowned literally everyone on board but Roach was found chilling on shore, a-okay. 

Jaskier: So I didn’t want to bring this up at first, because I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t cool with your magic horse–

Geralt: My What. 

[queenklu]

Jaskier: –like how did you tame it? Did you raise it from an egg or something? It seems like most magic horses eat people–or, sorry, do you taste bad as a Witcher? Roach has never tried to take a nibble out of me–

Geralt: Jaskier. This is a normal horse.

Jaskier, who has seen this horse appear on rooftops, in the middle of lava fields, refusing to swim but two seconds later showing up on the other side of a lake, and one time doing this for half an hour:

Jaskier: What Do You Mean

[cipheramnesia]

Jaskier, a completely ordinary human person who has managed to not age a single year throughout Geralt’s multi-century life and Roach, a completely ordinary brown horse who has managed to not age a single year throughout Geralt’s multi-century life just look back and forth at each other like “bitch, I won’t bring it up if you don’t” and that’s the end of it.

[nikolaijanak]

[hollowedskin]

Me trying to say something to my partner about some cool fanart I just saw on my dash.

Him: back up back up, what the FUCK is Mouse Effect.

[lizardsexposed]

[hollowedskin]

Lizardsex I love you...

The burning question of course is whether everyone is mice, or just the humans. Like are the salarians little frogs or is it Mice and Mice With Blue Tentacles???

[lizardsexposed]

sorry im absolutely too floored by the fact you just called me 'lizardsex' to give you an answer

[hollowedskin]

... I see now your name is probably Lizards Exposed and not in fact Lizard Sex Posed.

[dwarf-scum]

This exact phenomenon is why there’s now a hyphen in my url.

[rumalas]

Commissions are OPEN

Post by @rumalas · 7 images

💬 12  🔁 12  ❤️ 55 · Ko-fi · Google Form MORE INFO ON THE SITE BELOW! (TOS, portfolio, etc.) siteofmine

[deadpowol]

[tahthetrickster]

[thebibliosphere]

(Source)

Guys, he’s at it again…

[innovadesexual]

[stormingchaos12]

[idgabuck]

Can you imagine a night at the museum AU where they made like a wax/polyurethane statue of Grace maybe right before or after the beetles came

And Colt and Court would always come to visit just to see or hang out with the statue. Until one discovered or someone told them (probably a security guard. ohh Dave) to come back at night

And they did, and everything in that museum is alive. Statues, figurines, etc. And then they see the statue of Grace alive and walking around and that probably broke the brothers? Still, even if it isn't the real Grace they were still happy kinda?

Oh my god wait this eats! YOU ARE COOKING BESTIE👀

[42autisticfrogs]

what if we make Simon the security guard for shits and giggles and angst?

[thelurkingthingamajig]

Or the thing that brings the museum to life is an old relic from the eden cult that's stored with Simon's body. He was promised the chance to live by Ellie, so now he does. Every night.

[42autisticfrogs]

WAAIITTT OMG THATS SO SMART ACTUALLY

[thelurkingthingamajig]

okay this has become a thing for me. More!

Maybe eden worshipped the stars. The tree was a seed that fell from starlight, and the father found a way to make it grow. So they need to cultivate the tree so it can ascend back to the stars.

Simon was probably sent on an ocean expedition to retrieve some artifact or precious mineral "for the tree's ascension". But since it was probably a long time ago, you know how the sea was before we had steel.

Also in the movie the corpse the tablet belongs to is trapped in a sarchofogus. So.... claustrophobic Simon and wax Grace who is the only one who wants him out? Maybe?

I haven't seen fall guy or whatever movie court is from, but I'm sure there's a goslingbling that could do this heist thing to get Simon out of whatever iron coffin he's in. Wait. Iron maiden? Ooh, wait. Thats dark wait.

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Ive never thought about night at the museum as like a au before BUT GUYS YOU ARE COOKING HERE

Simon and Grace as the yearning President and Sacagawea agshdjfkemanab GOLDEN

[sarahtaylorgibson]

Writing a novel when you imagine all you stories in film format is hard because there’s really no written equivalent of “lens flare” or “slow motion montage backed by Gregorian choir”

[audacityinblack]

You can get the same effect of a lens flare with close-detail descriptions, combined with breaks to new paragraphs.

Your slow-motion montage backed by a Gregorian choir can be done with a few technques that all involve repetition.

First is epizeuxis, the repeating of a word for emphasis.

Example:

Falling. Falling. Falling. There was nothing to keep Marie from plunging into the rolling river below. She could only hope for a miracle now, that she would come out alive somehow despite a twenty-foot drop into five-foot-deep water.

Then there’s anaphora, where you write a number of phrases with the same words at the beginning.

There were still mages out there living in terror of shining steel armor emblazoned with the Sword of Mercy.

There were still mages out there being forced by desperation into the clutches of demons.

There were mages out there being threatened with Tranquility as punishment for their disobedience, and the threats were being made good upon.

Mages who had attempted to flee, but knew nothing of the outside world and were forced to return to their prison out of need for sustenance and shelter.

Mages who only desired to find the families they were torn from.

Mages who only wanted to see the sun.

This kind of repetition effectively slows the pace of your writing and puts the focus on that small scene. That’s where you get your slow pan. The same repetition also has a subtle musicality to it depending on the words you use. That’s where you get the same vibe as you might get from a Gregorian choir.

[sarahtaylorgibson]

Damn I made relatable reblog- bait post and writer Tumblr went hard with it. This is legitimately very good advice. 

[ariaste]

For more neat tricks (aka figures of rhetoric) like epizeuxis and anaphora, read THE ELEMENTS OF ELOQUENCE by Mark Forsyth. It’s both educational and delightful, not to mention overflowing with wry wit. Great book. 

[learlir]

The Elements Of Eloquence epub (google drive)

another good one is Writing With Clarity And Style (pdf on google drive)

[jellyfishforest135]

Activated them like sleeper agents

[adventures-in-instant-ramen]

[map9810-blog]

[enodiamoon]

[wtf-scientific-papers]

Submitter comment: I'd like to submit this '[s]tudy of defensive behavior of a venomous snake as a new approach to understand snakebite' not for it's topic (worth studying!) but for it's insane methodology, which... well, I'll just let the researcher speak for himself:

[Q: Why did you decide to do this experiment?

A: Snake behavior has been generally neglected as a field of research, especially in Brazil. And most studies don’t examine what factors make them want to bite. If you study malaria, you can research the parasite that causes the disease—but if you don’t study the mosquito that carries it, you will never solve the problem. Up until now, the popular wisdom was that the jararaca would only attack if you touched it or stepped on it. But that was not what we found.

Q: Why did you need to be the victim?

A: The best way to do this research is to put snakes and a human together. In this case, the human was me. We put the snakes inside a ring on the floor of our lab until they got used to it, then I stepped in wearing special protective boots. I stepped close to the snake and also lightly on top of it. I didn’t put my whole weight on my foot, so I did not hurt the snakes. I tested 116 animals and stepped 30 times on every animal, totaling 40,480 steps.]

From the recent (aptly named) interview: Researcher steps on deadly vipers 40,000 times to better predict snakebites

[dragongirl-casca]

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Did you know? Tumblr DOES have a post length limit. Strangely, though, it's based on how many blocks of text you have. Supposedly this implies that you can have any length post so long as it's one block of text? Very strange, will have to investigate further.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Two limits! You can have a maximum of 4,096,000 characters in 1 [one] tumblr post. I would work out how many combinations this is, but 26^6,000 is already considered to be "Infinity" by most calculators, and a program I wrote threw an error code.

26^95,000 is already over 134,000 characters long - which would take 33 different text blocks to convey via tumblr. Whenever somebody says we're running out of posts, don't forget that tumblr is needlessly designed for MASSIVE amounts of information [no matter how detrimental it may be for mobile phones].

There are SOME works of fanfiction which are lengthy enough that you couldn't fit the whole thing into one tumblr post, but this is enough to fit Hitchikers Guide To The Galaxy in it about 14 times over.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Don't hide that in the tags

[thewolfofthestars]

The Lord of the Rings is generally my go-to measuring stick for "long-ass pieces of text", so I must additionally point out that, if written out optimally, about 2 full Lord of the Ringses would fit into one Tumblr post, apparently.

Though I'm not certain if that character count includes spaces, unfortunately, as I got that figure by googling "how many letters are in lord of the rings" and came upon a TikTok that counted the number of letter characters in LotR in order to figure out how many Spaghettios cans would be needed to re-write the entire thing, if one were to cut and paste each individual letter from the cans blackmail-letter style.

For those curious, the numbers are 2,261,081 letters in LotR, which calculates out to 8,795 cans of Spaghettios needed, which would cost about $12,225.

What a way to start my day. The internet truly is a beautiful place.

[jv]

Hey! Guy who programmed most of the core pieces of the editor here!

So, those are the theoretical limits, yeah. But in practice, the editor is not even close to be optimized to handle these kinds of huge posts: there is a point, far far away from the size of the lord of the rings, that your browser would just crash.

So if you are planning to post long fanfiction, or anything, you better work on something that's optimized for long form (locally, or some alternative to Google docs) and then post in chunks.

So no, Tumblr is not designed to support these massive posts. It's theoretically possible, but that never was a real scenario we were trying to support

[sztupy]

Editor crashes? No problem, I'm sure you can do that through the API though

[jv]

I'm honestly very curious of what it would happen if someone tries something like using the API to post the entire Lord Of The Rings. I would assume the request would timeout, but it would be a cool test to run. Anyway, if it works, anyone trying to reblog that post would just insta-kill their browser :D

[sztupy]

IT WORKED!

Post by @full-lotr-test

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 0 · J. R. R. Tolkien — The Lord Of The Rings. (1/4) ----------------------------------------------- THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.

(okay this is just the first book, let me see if I can do all three)

[jv]

oh yeah, almost a million characters, 365 text blocks, and the editor is handling it pretty well

Honestly, it works way better than I expected! I guess being plain text and not having to render any fancy formatting is enough for a modern browser to handle it well. Reblogging it took a few more seconds than usual, but went through too. Good job tumblr!

[sztupy]

Here's the entire one, all 3 books + appendices:

Post by @full-lotr-test

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 0 · J. R. R. Tolkien — The Lord Of The Rings. (1/4) ----------------------------------------------- THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.

The API did return a 500 when trying to upload BUT it actually did upload

[willcodehtmlforfood]

.

[yapping-migrant]

opening @full-lotr-test makes the app crash, I need to check on PC 👀

[jv]

I just tested on my Android phone and it froze the app for about 30 seconds, but when I thought it was going to finally crash, it actually loaded the blog and started working normally

[jv]

Btw, @sztupy, have you tried to edit the post? Does it work??

[sztupy]

Yes, someone asked me to add a tag so they can filter it out, and I tried that over from the web interface.

For the first post (first book only) there was no issue. Edit loaded, I could add the tag, press Save and done. Note: this was on a PC using Chrome

For the second post (all three books) it worked the same way as the API. I could load up the page and edit it, but when pressing save I'd get an error message. However the edit did go through actually and the tag is now there.

Haven't tried to edit the text itself, but don't think it would make a difference - if your browser can load it'd just work.

(On mobile on a low/mid-range Android the App could open up the post without problems, but haven't tried editing. Using a mobile browser - Firefox in my case - the page could load but it was super slow, and buggy, and it also did crash once)

Also as a public service announcement: if you want to filter the post out from your dash the tag is #full-lotr-test

Also if anyone is interested I loaded up the entire LOTR trilogy in TXT file, then wrote a code that split it out into NPF (Neue Post Format, you know the new PDF or whatever) blocks of at most 4000 characters, then simply called the Create Post API with the resulting NPF block. I believe there's around 900 blocks in the second post above, each block containing somewhere between 3000-4000 characters, so close to the theoretical limit

[jv]

That's interesting, opening it in the editor means that you don't only have the rendered html version, but also the JSON object containing all the blocks. I would expect it to at least stutter a little.

I tested it again from the android app, and scrolling through the post is really painful: it freezes the app for a few seconds every time you scroll an entire screen... So yeah, I think it would take hours to scroll through the entire thing . So anyone reblogging it is probably earning an unfollow from their beloved mutuals if they want to be able to use Tumblr at all that day 😁

[headspace-hotel]

Spell of "makes all your followers unfollow you"

surprisingly functional web site

[nyabbycat]

[nattousan]

you know how it is with snow days

[nattousan]

bonus:

[nattousan]

why on earth is this getting notes again two years later?? and people are doubting me???

like i would joke about defenestrating myself at the ass crack of dawn as some sort of masochistic sacrifice to the snow gods for helping me get out of work, grow up

[mikkeneko]

cool vibes for hot summer days

[theyshutmedownagain]

[teaboot]

Jesus christ I love humanity

[callmebliss]

Wake up, babe, new neurodivergent anthem just dropped?!?!

How the fuck do I get this as an audio file, I desperately need to have it on heavy rotation for the rest of my goddamn life

[rain-droplet]

I love seeing these collaborative song trains. joining in to make something better is peak human behavior