Just A Nightvalien Person

Hi.

[deadhole]

“Marw” by Kath Morgan

[ectobiohazard]

im tthinking about davis (the he-niece of lucifer)

[ectobiohazard]

[dah-good-vibe-tribe]

[hanna619]

Omg best thing I’ve ever seen

[theartsyproject]

Hugo Simberg, The Garden of Death, 1896.

[citizen-zero]

Every time I see this I always wonder what the painter’s intended message was. It looks so pleasant, that middle skeleton looks so happy with its work.

Maybe it’s supposed to be a memento mori, but a comforting and encouraging one.

[spookyloop]

This is one of the most famous paintings in Finland. There are multiple interpretations of it but they all share the same base idea:

“According to Simberg, the flowers represent people’s souls, the skeletons are aids to Death, and the Garden of Death is a purgatory of sorts for souls waiting for entrance into heaven. This artwork invites the viewer to consider the afterlife, to take comfort in his or her own passing, and to not fear what happens after the body fails to function.”

“It depicts Simberg’s thoughts on afterlife, which is not run by angels but skeletons who take care of the heavenly garden with a gentle hand, while waiting for more “gardeners” to arrive. It is derived from the medieval belief that the dead sleep in a blooming garden.”

“In Simberg’s garden the humble Death-like figures struggle against harsh conditions; the landscape around the garden has burnt yellow, it is dry and barren. The cherished flowers grow in exotic shapes, slowly, requiring constant care. The black-clad figures love their nurslings. The garden is a place where Death is allowed to realize its feelings of affection. The Garden of Death can be seen depicting the impossibility of this love; maybe the flowers are tender and fragile because they can not handle the love of Death. Love has two faces: one of them is the face of devastation.”

[thoodleoo]

latin fact #1: the letter v in latin is pronounced like the letter w in english. as such, the latin word for hello, salve, would be pronounced sal-weh

latin fact #2: there’s a quote from vergil’s aeneid, one of the most famous works of latin literature, that includes the phrase nunc morere, which is basically the latin way of saying “then perish”

latin fact #3: thanks to latin pronunciation rules, you could totally make a hewwo mr obama meme in latin using a quote from one of the most influential poems of the ancient world

[thoodleoo]

look if i’m gonna be cursed with this knowledge i’m gonna curse y’all with it too

[powerwordkilll-moving-deactivat]

1: S-salve ecquis ibi estne?

*spelunca aquae lente incohat inplere*

1:S-salve aliquis serva me pwecow Salve?

*summa aquae vix adluere potes sentire*

1: Nonnonnonnon salve!! Salve serva me

2: Deus wequietem da spiritui tui

1. Salve! Domine, cur hoc mihi facias Salve!! Serva me pwecow

1: M-magistre obame iste tu estne salve! Serva me pwecow video esse in pavlo twibulatione magistre obame salve S-salve

1: @( ◕ x ◕ )@

1: Pwecow te Magistre Obame serva me nolo mowiwe

1: S-salve Magistre Obame hoc tamen esne

1: Magistre obame pwecow mersus sum S-salve timefactus sum

1: Quidquam faciam tibi magistre obame pwecow serva

2: Quidquam?

1: Quidquam tibi magistre obame :3

2: Nunc morere

1: D:

[quomododragon]

One of my Latin students drew a cartoon of Obama saying “NUNC MORERE” on the back of her latest quiz and I blame all of you the internet is canceled

[from-mars-to-venus]

As a stupid whore for Latin, I could not be more pleased with this

[crash-bang-boom]

Visit Original Link

Ask and you shall receive. xx Original post here Backing track here

[amethyst-skeleton]

Reblogging again, here are the transcribed lyrics!

Chorus

Jolene (×4)

I’m begging of you please don’t take my man

Jolene (x4)

Please don’t take him just because you can

Verse One

Your beauty is beyond compare

With flaming locks of auburn hair

With ivory skin

And eyes of emerald green

For years our town’s been terrorised

By the beast who takes disguise

In the shell

That calls itself Jolene

Our sleep disturbed by quaking breath

Eyes closed against the threat of death

That lies behind

The teeth of that Jolene

The closer that you get to her

The more those edges seem to blur

To something that

Cannot be called Jolene

Chorus

Verse Two

Your teeth are sharp, your mouth agape

Your claws rend flesh, there’s no escape

From judgement of

The Eldritch One, Jolene

But I’ve seen beyond that auburn hair

My eyes have met your vacant stare

But I’ve been told

I’m hard to scare, Jolene

Chorus but it’s:

Jolene (x4)

I’m begging of you please don’t take my man

Jolene (x4)

I’ll end this story just how it began

I’ll take your teeth if you try to take my man

End.

(edited from op’s corrections)

[thesimcommunity]

Origin has just started a special promotion where you can claim The Sims 4 Base Game (Standard Edition) – free of charge! That’s right, starting today, May 21st 2019 you’re able to claim The Sims 4 Base Game from Origin.com and have it yours to keep forever. The game will stay permanently in your game …

[nolan-sims]

[chiiarascura-deactivated2022121]

I literally bought this 2 weeks ago… Fml

Get it free while you can yall

[byjove]

Victor refusing to make the Monster a wife because he was worried they’d breed is such a cop out. Like, you’re cobbling together body parts from charnel houses. You can just not give her any ovaries. You can just spay her like a cat. Why are you this dumb Victor. You’re a doctor.

[byjove]

the implication that victor spend weeks giving the monster a working dick is also extremely weird

[techskylander]

Something to remember is that Victor didn’t just give the monster a working dick! He wanted his creation to be made of the best parts of men-it’s why the monster is made up of so many different pieces rather than one fresh corpse, why he’s so large, and why Victor is disappointed that he isn’t beautiful.

So, what does this mean? It means that Victor looked at the dicks of various corpses, testing not only to make sure they work, but also to find what he considered to be the best corpse dick. Does this mean the monster was extremely hung? Or did Victor simply pick the dick that seemed most attractive to him? Did he memorize the appearance of the dicks, or did he line them up to compare?

We’ll never know, because the original story never touches on the subject, and it’s one of the few flaws in Mary Shelley’s work.

[byjove]

I know I started this conversation but I’m so sorry I did

[kintatsujo]

Considering we know who Mary Shelley was spending time around I guarantee this was a CONVERSATION that she actively and adamantly refused to actually include in the text

[iconuk01]

Well, there is ONE adaptation which includes this very discussion.

[cherry-soda-chaos]

Pay Becky Bloodgood using PayPal.Me

Go to paypal.me/knittinggangelwaefre and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worrie

$10 would help, even maybe 20, so I could get a late breakfast.

This shit is stressin me out.

[cherry-soda-chaos]

I hate to keep asking, but.. ya know.

*sigh*

It’s going to be a long day, and a very long walk to where I can get something to eat this morning.

Hate this place I’ve been stuck in.

[cherry-soda-chaos]

So..yeah.

$5 maybe?

Walked in the pouring rain.. diddly squat.

*sigh*

[cherry-soda-chaos]

Anything would help right now.

[wholesomethemedmemes]

Just in case you were feeling discouraged.

[inahiddenplace]

like if i had ram horns things would be better i think.

[emilianadarling]

Visit Original Link

All right, everybody, now here we go! It’s a brand new version of a do-si-do. Just stomp your feet and clap your hands C'mon, everybody, it’s the hamster dance! (x)

[saiasus]

[thepupupthere]

[wesschneider]

Terror Tracks: Music in Horror TTRPGs

This is a rework of an article I wrote in 2013. I’ve added some sources, but others might be a bit dated. Additional scores and suggestions welcome! 

You can also hear the gist of this preamble in the recording of “Something at Work in the Soul: Horror in RPGs” from Orcacon 2018 

Silence: Ambiance’s Weak Spot 

I won’t run horror tabletop RPGs without background music. They need it.

More so than other games with their looping tracks from The Lord of the Rings or Conan, horror games absolutely require background music.  

Is that strange? In a genre filled with innocents creeping across creaky floorboards and screams piercing still nights, is it weird to use music to fill every breath-holding moment?

If you’re making a movie, maybe (and even then only maybe). In the TTRPG game you’re running, though, absolutely not.

In any horror game, a absolute goal of your work as a GM is to build an appropriately creepy ambiance or atmosphere. To do so, you’ll use your story, lurid descriptions, whispered conversations, dimmed lights, a whole bag of spooky tricks. But in all of it, your greatest enemy is silence.

That’s because, once a pause hits, once you’re not forwarding the plot, once a player’s not speaking in character, like a mist, the ambiance starts dissipating. Too quickly, the players realize they’re not on rain-slick parapets fleeing the hungry night, they’re in your game room. They remember they’re just playing, they might even realize they’re tense, and in that situation they might do what most humans do when they’re tense: try to break that tension.

Gamers do this with Monty Python jokes.

Monty Python jokes KILL AMBIANCE DEAD. 

Horror Behind Your Words

So what to do? Never slow the game’s momentum. Never look up a rule. Never use the restroom. Never break the session. Lock all the doors. Run the game until either its over or you are.

Or, give yourself some backup. 

Low, subtle, constant, appropriately creepy music provides a steady drumbeat of atmospheric agreement to your story.

While you’re describing the indescribable, it’s an ominous pulse, nodding along, seconding every terror you reveal. 

Even better, though, in the pauses, it’s still there. It’s the dread that lingers even when you’re not building it, it fills the space and holds the atmosphere, helping to keep players in the moment when you can’t.

There are a thousand tricks you can play once you’ve incorporated music into your game—volume, looping, manipulating attention, Pavlovian responses, avoiding recognition—but that’s a discussion for another time. With appropriate selections, the score to your game can do as much to create a memorable experience as your storytelling itself. But, your music has to work for you.

Dread Accompaniment: Horror Music Playlists

Not all horror is alike. The world-destroying marches of Godzilla’s score would never work if you subbed them in behind the visuals of Ringu. Hellraiser’s score works for Hellraiser, The Thing’s score works for The Thing, and trying to swap them would be a mess. The music has to encourage the atmosphere you’re trying to create. If it doesn’t, it might actively work against your story.

As the director on Pathfinder’s Carrion Crown Adventure Path, I wrote several forewords that included my suggestions for music that reinforced the themes of those adventures and that highlighted a specific horror genre or general concept. (The associated films also make damn fine viewing if you’re looking for a specific vein of inspiration.) For ease of reference, I’ve expanded on those playlists here, each with suggested artists, albums, and (where possible) links to help emphasize certain ominous moods. Obviously, these playlists are not all-inclusive; just some of my favorites that have worked well for me in the past.

Use these next time you’re looking for something to enhance the atmosphere of your most sinister TTRPG games, those sessions when you really want to leave  your players dangling from the edges of their seats.

General

Beal, Jeff: Carnivale

Dead Can Dance: The Serpent’s Egg, et al.

Elfman, Danny: Red Dragon

Haslinger, Paul: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Julyan, David: The Descent, The Prestige

Kilar, Wojciech : Bram Stoker’s Dracula*

Navarrete, Javier: Mirrors, Pan’s Labyrinth

Newman, Thomas: Castle Rock

Söderqvist, Johan: Let the Right One In

Yamane, Michiru: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, et al.

Zimmer, Hans: Hannibal*

Ghosts

Carlos, Wendy & Elkind-Tourre, Rachel: The Shining

Carpenter, John: The Fog

Giacchino, Michael: Let Me In

Henifin, Steve: Eternal Darkness

Midnight Syndicate: Gates of Delirium, et al.

Newman, David: Serenity

Revell, Graeme: Below

Yamaoka, Akira: Silent Hill, et al.

Young, Christopher: Drag Me to Hell, The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Zimmer, Hans: The Ring

Terrors of Science

Alwyn, Kenneth: Bride of Frankenstein

Rachmaninoff, Sergei: Prelude in C Sharp Minor, Op.3, No.2

Aufort, Cyrille: Splice

Band, Richard: Reanimator

Beltrami, Marco: Mimic

Bergeaud, David: The Outer Limits

Burwell, Curt: Gods & Monsters

Davis, Carl: Frankenstein Unbound

Doyle, Patrick: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

Shore, Howard: The Fly

Savage Horror

Donaggio, Pino: The Howling

Elfman, Danny: Nightbreed, The Wolfman

Frankel, Benjamin: Curse of the Werewolf and Other Film Music

Haslinger, Paul: Underworld (and sequels)

Kanno, Yoko: Wolf ’s Rain Soundtrack 2

LoDuca , Joseph: Brotherhood of the Wolf

Marianelli, Dario: The Brothers Grimm

Morricone, Ennio: Wolf

Powell, Andrew: Ladyhawke

Horrifying Resurrections

Carpenter, John: Village of the Damned

Goldsmith, Jerry: The Mummy

Elm, Bill & Woody Jackson: Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare

Heil, Reinhold & Johnny Klimek: Land of the Dead

Isham, Mark: The Crazies

Morasky, Mike: Left 4 Dead

Murphy, John: 28 Days Later

Revell, Graeme: The Crow

Suzuki, Kota: Resident Evil 5 (Related Resident Evil 7 OST)

Taïeb, Jean-Pierre: Frontiere(s)

Alien Horror

Bates, Tyler: Slither

Beltrami, Marco: The Eye

Carpenter, John: Prince of Darkness*

Elfman, Danny: Mars Attacks

Goldenthal, Elliot: Sphere

Graves, Jason: Dead Space

Horner, James: Aliens

Howard, James Newton: Signs

Kurzel, Jed: Alien Covenant

Morricone, Ennio: The Thing*

Shortner, Clinton: District 9

Subtle Horror

Bell, Joshua: The Red Violin*

Bishara, Joseph: Annabelle, The Conjuring

D’Ambrosio, Marco: Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust*

Fjellström, Marcus: The Terror

Glass, Philip: Dracula

Goldenthal, Elliot: Interview with the Vampire

Jones, Trevor: From Hell

Kid, Jesper: Assassin’s Creed 2: Brotherhood

McCreary, Bear: 10 Cloverfield Lane

Reitzell, Brian: Hannibal (2014 series)

Tartini, Giuseppe: Violin Sonata in G minor

Zimmer, Hans: Sherlock Holmes

World Ruiners

Benyacar, Simone, Craig Stuart Garfinkle, Veigar Margeirsson, & Daniel Nielsen: Requiem for a Tower

Brower, Russell, Derek Duke, & Edo Guidotti: World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King

Debney, John: End of Days

Desplat, Alexandre: Godzilla (2014)

Glass, Philip: Candyman

Goldsmith, Jerry: The Omen

Ifukube, Akira & Sagisu, Shirō: Shin Godzilla

Jackman, Henry: Skull Island

Mancell, Clint: The Fountain

Young, Christopher: Hellraiser

Zimmer, Hans: Inception

(* - Personal favorites, especially recommended)

[bardicknowledgeblogger]

For reference for my annual halloween sessions

[xueyangapologist]

what’s christmas even like in non-christian families? in completely non-religious families? like what do you tell your children? “well, kids, we’re eating a whole lot of food and spending a fuckton of money spoiling you because some other people somewhere believe their holy lord and saviour and the greatest person to walk the earth was born 2000 years ago. here’s a playstation.”

[sweaterfemme-deactivated2025081]

yeah pretty much

[balkansoul-deactivated20220924]

i legit didnt know non-christians celebrated christmas… literally never crossed my mind 

[cure4psycho]

We do, and basically it’s like “Hey kids, let’s decorate a tree, exchange presents, eat a fuckload of food, and get a picture with the creepy mall Santa that probably will be arrested next week”. I didn’t even know it was a religious holiday until I was 9

[conquergravity]

Christmas was celebrated here (in Norway) for several thousand years before Christianity got here. There was literally nothing Christian about it in the beginning, the Christians just figured it’d be easier to say that Jesus was born on a day that was already celebrated than to make up a new holiday and force it on people

[homunculus-argument]

Pretty much every culture in the northern hemisphere has had a celebration in the fuck-all heart of winter purely because it’s depressing as fuck when it’s cold all the time and dark for 90% of the time

So long before jesus was born someone was like

“k it’s cold and dark and the view outside is literally identical to our concept of hell but I made you this candle stop being sad”

[thisiskatsblog]

Yep, Easter existed before Jesus died on this day. Basically pretty much every “Christian” holiday was put on a pagan holiday, like lots of churches were also built on pagan places of worship. That’s how they made Christianity a success. We call that marketing now. 

[systlin]

Christmas is rooted in pre-Christian Solstice celebrations. By Dec. 25th, days are getting noticeably longer. Light is triumphing over the dark. Spring and life will eventually return. In the dead of winter, the promise of renewal. It’s an ancient and powerful thing, that has been integral to human culture and religion in every culture around the globe. 

Christians couldn’t get people to stop celebrating their solstice feast days, so they replaced the ‘rebirth of the sun’ celebrations with a ‘birth of the son’ celebration. Literally all they did was tweak existing mythology and relabel old traditions. 

Christmas is far, far older than Christianity. Don’t flatter yourselves. 

[thesecondsealwrites-deactivated]

Additionally the birth of Christ was probably sometime in the spring or summer. (we base this on tax times and lambing seasons). By and large*, Christians didn’t start celebrating the birth of Jesus in December until 336 when Roman Emperor Constantine did a whole bunch of shady stuff to give his momma’s religion more power/importance and basically set Christianity on the sucky ass path it’s been on every since. (fyi it was Pope Julius I who made it an official holiday a few years later).

*There is some speculation on why this was so easily accepted. One reason being that for reasons not quite known the date was already associated with Jesus’s birth. In the second century Hippolytus wrote in passing that Jesus’s birthday was on December 25th and I think this gets largely ignored because it doesn’t fit with the currently popular historical narrative. That said humans have long had traditions of combining/appropriating regional holidays as populations move into and out of areas and we have ALWAYS had a mid winter holiday for reasons.

tl;dr: The most readily identified secular Christmas observations/symbols/etc aren’t Christian at all, so it’s not remotely odd to me that Christmas is celebrated by nonchristians. It’s odder to me that nonchristians get all riled up when those secular symbols are attacked. (like holiday reindeer cups, etc)

ps. I realize that those symbols are not secular to everyone, but in most current observances there is little knowledge or understanding of their religious roots. 

[systlin]

“CLIMBS UP ON SOAPBOX”

ALSO BECAUSE I’M NOT DONE

Christmas trees? Why the fuck do we drag a tree into our house and decorate it in the middle of winter? Because the evergreen is an ancient pagan symbol associated with immortality and rebirth, as it’s the only tree that is green in the dead of winter. Romans used fir branches to decorate their homes at Saturnalaia. Pagans in Europe used fir and holly branches to remind themselves that rebirth and growth would return, as even the coldest winter could not kill all the green growing things. It doesn’t have fuckall to do with Jesus, kids. 

Santa? The wise old man who rides a sleigh drawn by eight reindeer through the sky on Yule Night? Based on Odin, the Allfather of the Norse Gods, who rode his eight-legged steed Slepnir on a hunt through the sky on Yule night. Children would leave their boots out, filled with hay or root vegetables for Odin’s mount as an offering. If this pleased Odin, he would leave gifts in return, for all gifts must be returned in kind. 

Sound familiar?? (Right and the reindeer? A hugely important animal to most of the Northern European cultures where solstice celebrations originated. They also have ties to the Horned God, the god of the hunt, which associates them with Odin’s ride with the Wild Hunt on Yule Eve. Again, ain’t got shit-all to do with Jesus.) 

Christmas. 

Ain’t. 

Christian. 

[thesecondsealwrites-deactivated]

*builds a soapbox big enough for the both of us, passes you a cup of eggnog and a spiced cookie*

Don’t get me started on St. Nic. 

Saint Nicolas (the Wonderworker) was a wealthy, 4th century Turkish saint (so the likelihood of that round white man with the white beard…yeah…pretty slim *snickers at pun*) with a reputation for secret gift giving, ie putting coins in shoes…which I wonder where that notion would have come from? I mean on the one hand, yes, previously existing traditions from others, but also, shoes are handy? and a place someone is likely to absolutely not miss a thing.

But really, THAT’S IT. He didn’t leave toys for children or build them or any such thing. What we have is just have a good ol’ case of FUSION going on wherein the Christians were super excited to have someone of their own who could take on the traits of a figure most likely already common in their time/geography. Because I’ma guess folks really didn’t want to give up this kind of fun.

It REALLY helped that St. Nic’s feast day was early December. 

The holiday took off during the Middle Ages in areas where anything pagan had better be rebranded as Christian or folks couldn’t keep it. St. Nic was handy, became Sinterklass and heck yes took a whole bunch from Odin cause you know…Odin needed a Christian face if he was going to continue spoiling kids with sweets. 

As it stands now, St. Nic is nearly lost in all but name, but man…when people start getting super passionate about their white santa I like to drag him out and wave him around.

[systlin]

GESTICULATES WILDLY AT ABOVE POST WHILE SHOVING COOKIE INTO MOUTH

And St. Nick became associated with the earlier Odin myth BECAUSE he shared some features compatible with the Odin myth and was a suitable Christian figure to use to cover up the older, pagan roots of the tradition!

SANTA IS EITHER A TURKISH MAN OR THE POWERFUL KING OF A PAGAN PANTHEON TAKE YOUR PICK EITHER WAY YOUR JOLLY LITTLE WHITE SANTA IS A LIE.

AND THEN THE ELVES. FUCK ME THE ELVES. 

Tied inextricably to the myths of the ‘little people,’ and of course to the powerful Sidhe and the dwarves of Norse myth, who crafted wondrous gifts for the gods in their marvelous workshops.  

The Fair Folk were well known for punishing those who crossed them, and conversely richly rewarding those who pleased them. Or, in other words, “The Naughty and Nice.” 

“Swigs eggnog, drops mic.” 

[thesecondsealwrites-deactivated]

Okay so like my favorite awful Christmas movie is the Life and Adventures of Santa Claus because holy heck it takes all the pagan elements cuts them up and stitches them into this wild but somehow historically honest (not accurate, honest, there’s a difference) quilt and yes, the naughty and nice fair/forest folk just– *flails until you reassure me that you’ve seen this claymation masterpiece*

This is why our tree is basically forest, fey, and mythological creatures because honestly the magic and wonder of the season is what I love the most.

Also, I sorta hate round fat jolly santa and I think we could have largely helped me get over that as a child if he had just ridden a beautiful giant grey horse.

NOW

DO WE EVEN WANT TO GET INTO THE MESS THAT IS YULE LOGS?

[systlin]

OH FUCK I THOUGHT NO ONE ELSE EVEN KNEW ABOUT THAT MOVIE MY MOTHER WATCHED IT WITH US WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BUDDING FILTHY HEATHEN AND SHE WAS ALREADY A FULLY FLEDGED FILTHY HEATHEN.

My tree is all vintage glass ornaments that I’ve gotten from thrift shops because I love the sheer beauty of them and because I feel like my pagan ancestors would have also loved them. 

And OH FUCK YULE LOGS, traditionally cut from an oak tree, which has such deep rich symbolism in old pagan mythology that it’s worthy of a whole essay on its own, decorated with evergreen and holly for rebirth and immortality, and burned on the solstice to celebrate the return of light and warmth.

There’s an old, old rhyme for this; 

May the log burn, May the wheel turn, May evil spurn, May the Sun return.

And then of course the ashes were used as powerful protection and fertility charms. 

CHRISTIANITY CONTENT; 0.000000%. 

“Offers spiced mead and gingerbread.” 

[margotmeanie]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and…

HOLY CRAP, OTHER PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THAT MOVIE?! IT’S MY FAV FUCKING XMAS MOVIE AND WHEN I SHOW IT TO PEOPLE THEY’RE LIKE…WTF DID I JUST WATCH?!

Now….can I get on this spiced mead and cookies business?!

[sapphire-rosa]

YEEAAAAAHHHHHH I love this whole thread! 

[angrymadsygin]

In my country, in the little town my grandparents used to live, people still burn a decorated log at Solstice and masked men in furs dangle big cows’ bells to scare the darkness away. I live in Romania.

[oldgalactichippie]

So can I make tshirts that says

CHRISTMAS IS A LIE - HAPPY YULE!! with all the “traditional Christmas” symbols like reindeer and evergreens and such because thats all Pagan symbolism anyway??

I wanna make this shirt. I live in the bible belt. I need it.

[antique-scarecrow]

choice excerpts

the view outside is literally identical to our concept of hell but I made you this candle stop being sad

We call that marketing now.

Christmas is far, far older than Christianity.

the evergreen is an ancient pagan symbol associated with immortality and rebirth

SANTA IS EITHER A TURKISH MAN OR THE POWERFUL KING OF A PAGAN PANTHEON

FUCK ME THE ELVES.

and here’s a screenshot from the Life and Adventures of Santa Claus

[great-tweets]

omggggg

[dippersballoon]

I saw an opportunity and I took it

[offline-kinq]

This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die

[udon-tea]

For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.

Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance:

I won’t hesitate bitch

Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow

Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read

Kermit the Frog jumps off building

Fr e sh a voca do

back at it again at Krispy Kreme

There is only one thing worse than a rapist

Club Jam (yes a really good book)

At least the taco was free

I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand

Grandma loves ping pong too much

If your name is Junior

Welcome to Target

I’m just cooking pizza

Cole Sprouse dress-up game

On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf

Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free)

Kid smacked by fly swatter

Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school)

Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator)

WE’RE BREAKING FREE

SAIL

I’m Squidward

So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies

So no head? (breaking skateboard)

Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere)

No off topic questions (Chris Christie)

What the fuck, Richard

Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke)

Bored as shiiiiii

Liberian accent (plasma globe)

New haircut (Parker Kit Hill)

Summertime sadness (chicken)

More like hurricane TORTILLA

I got an a-bor-tion

All Around the World (TheJasminator)

When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light

Snake licks lollipop

Accept yourself, love yourself

Be whatever you wanna be

Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR)

Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho

Can I please get a waffle?

Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars)

Ebony Jenkins (shut up!)

Kevin, watch the light dude

Horse meditation

A girl a dream & a clothing hanger

Is that a weed? (911 microwave)

Helium balloons (floating car)

Fireplace fairy

I’m your freestyle dance teacher

I can’t believe you’ve done this

Which way the Quiznos is

Impossible paper toss shot

Hemtube (dancing with cat)

I nurture my skin (Shaq)

Why are you running

Happy birthday?

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom)

Farkle falling

Fuck you (soda machine)

Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke)

Take On Me

And now my sock is wet (water gun)

All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala

When there’s too much drama at school

Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub

What’s your name? (ouija board)

Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids)

Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven)

Girl scared of convertible car

Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats)

Would you like the spider on your hand?

Shopping cart crash

We actually have the chip reader now

I’M A GIRAFFE

Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti)

I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

[leaveittotegan-deactivated20181]

this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke

[werewolf-cuddles]

Can we get a full version of this?