this is not regular but I rlly need to like have this vented about so im releasing it into the void of tumblr
so uh yeah vent
This guy ive been friends? with for a while has always been rocky with me. We make each other angry and we fight and what not. He actively picks at me when im hurt and finds joy in it, I am 100% secure in this thought because he TOLD ME TO MY FACE. He also frequently says that he always wants to bully me because im just so easy to bully. Now we've had some genuinely really good moments that I really value and I totally still care for him, but we both make each other upset constantly and I was honestly really tired of it. So today I asked for some space and it started off very calm. but then he kept texting. and texting. and getting angrier and more accusatory, saying that im just running from all my and if I really valued our friendship then I wouldn't ask for this space. he then texted my BOYFRIEND who is his friend and said that me and him were fighting but he didnt wanna involve my bf. if he didn't wanna involve him...then why tell him???? I also wanna make it clear that I have messed up in the friendship, I have failed to communicate when he has hurt me AGAIN many times. but everytime I communicate I always feel like he turns it back on me and that he actually purposely hurt me because I upset him???? im just so tired of this guy idek what to do. I dont want to be friends with him at all anymore but we are in a big friend group so I kinda have to stay civil. Also this guy was blowing up my phone, very angry, but I tried to be as straightforward and kind as I could be with my responses such as "I understand how you feel, but I still need this space and I think it will be best for us" and he just KEPT GOING. idk this guy just has been so evil and I just can't with it anymore
random list of things hes done
- Told me my bf (his bsf) is actually horrible, but to not ask anything about it because he won't tell me (I explicitly said I did not want to know)
- belittled me every single conversation ever
-calls him ranting to his friends "vents" and me ranting to mine "shit talking"
-openly to my face told me that he was talking bad about me to our mutual friends
-admitting to purposely trying to hurt me on multiple occasions just to see if I wpuld tell him I was hurt
-called the valedictorian dumb as hell (she is literally the sweetest girl alive) and said that he was a genius and that the only reason he wasn't valedictorian was because she did her school work (hes 30th in class ranking)
-openly said that he loves to manipulate people
-claims therapy wouldnt work for him because hes too smart and he'll just be mad at the therapist
-claims to have never felt emotion ever
-calls himself the main character in a very serious way
-makes every conversation about him
-puts down everyone's achievements because "he could've actually gotten them if he tried"
-thinks if he admits his faults it makes them better
update!
we talked and I was under the assumption that things where going fine enough and that my boundary would be respected, but then he blew up at me once I went to sleep. I realize now that I probably told him things that he can use as ammo towards me, and i said them because he was literallybegging for me to do so. He literally was just looking for an excuse to yell at me im sooo tired bro
he used the good ol "you're not communicating" thing, but everytime I try to communicate he does this shit. He's really trying to put the narrative on that I dont care about our friendship at all. Im just so tired of this shit. He can go talk shit about me all he wants, I just hope people dont fall for his crap.
Telling everyone that I'm obsessed with Batman when secretly I am severely hyperfixated on Damian Wayne, but I don't wanna seem like some nerdy freak or smthn...
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