step 1: pick up dragongirl
step 2: put her in your mouth
step 3: chew
DON'T do this.
Noah Kahan
Mike Driver
Not today Justin

bliss lane

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Stranger Things
Cosimo Galluzzi
Keni
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Xuebing Du
art blog(derogatory)

roma★

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
No title available
Sweet Seals For You, Always
untitled
Misplaced Lens Cap
h
No title available
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Bangladesh

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Colombia

seen from Italy

seen from Brazil
seen from T1

seen from Brazil
seen from Brazil
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@lasagnasdfk
step 1: pick up dragongirl
step 2: put her in your mouth
step 3: chew
DON'T do this.
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
It should be flying upside down.
hair silky like tofu
ass firm like another kind of tofu
#Tits moderate firm yet jiggly like a third kind of tofu
your straight boyfriend is not FRUITY he is not a TWINK he is not GAY FOR THE STRAP he is a 25 year old heterosexual man named TYLER and his favorite hobby is playing MARVEL RIVALS
ngl i have a really hard time respecting or taking seriously anyone who prioritizes like, farm animals or dogs or whatever charismatic animal it is this week over human beings in their activism. like i hear you and those animals deserve rights but do you know what other mammals are currently being tortured and exploited and killed by the Ag industry/resource extraction/capitalism? fucking human people!
i'm involved in a campaign trying to stop a prison being built in my state and the route most promising right now isn't like appealing to the humanity of the people who would be incarcerated, nono who tf cares about that, it's that the construction would be harmful to some dragonfly species that depends on the land the prison would be built on
it's so bleak. there's like no way to do activism that cares about actual people. it's always some circuitous bullshit that's more about wealthy people enjoying the land that would otherwise be used to torture people. people with wealth and power care more about bugs than people.
This is what the average YouTube thumbnail looks like now
spent too long on this
im quitting tumblr
ok see u tomorrow
this post is now 10 fucking years old
guy who is definitely not about to fall into a surprise midday nap with an aftermath worse than a hangover: it seems like a really good idea to lay in bed and get cozy under the blanket as part of my plan not to fall asleep. I do not know why.
He likes being tall so much he just can’t stop making biscuits
black mackerel tabby with moderate white spotting
i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible
personal agenda. Personal.
i’m speechless. there’s a guy for everything.
wow i never realize dbut all natural world iphone 🌍
like i know gnomes are an invasive species but this feels a bit overkill to me
try to imagine a gnome being homophobic.
you CAN’T, right? they’re just too whimsical
Straight up this guy called me a slur
wait...i remember you...