No truer words…
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@laurenw1025
No truer words…
John Mulaney grew up in Chicago in the 80s. You know who else did?
Kevin McCallister.
You know why Kevin was so good at defending the house? Judging by his resourcefulness and creativity with the traps, Kevin definitely attended Detective J.J. Bittenbinder’s “Street Smarts” assemblies in school. In this essay I will
Our strong, intelligent, powerful, beautiful, both the popular and the underrated, fun, independent, heroic female characters of the Marvel Universe! Be it goddess, spy, soldier, student, general, inventor, CEO, sorcerer and more! Respect to every one of these characters and the many more I couldn’t fit onto here! Honorable mentions include Ayo, Liz Toomes, Frigga, Christine Palmer May Parker and Helen Cho.
This is the best possible response to this blatant Darcy Lewis erasure!
“I feel like Diana is really accessible. It’s very easy to relate to her. She has the heart of a human so she can be emotional, she’s curious, she’s compassionate, she loves people. And then she has the powers of a goddess. She’s all for good, she fights for good, she believes in great. I want to be her. And in Wonder Woman, she has this naivete in her. It isn’t stupid, it’s magical. I would want to be naive like that again.” - Gal Gadot
adhdalistair:
penisennui:
(via Justin Jorgensen) “In 2007 I worked with photographers Williams + Hirakawa to create a concept piece of me sleeping on a sheet cake. I though these cakes looked like pillows, and there’s the obvious play on ‘sweet dreams.’
I wondered if I could fall asleep on a cake and have sweet dreams. I didn’t. It was pretty gross really and wasn’t easy to wash off.
A few years later, outtakes from the shoot were sold to Getty Images as stock photos. I didn’t know this until 2011 when one of those photos made #13 on the wildly popular Buzzffed.com list of “60 Completely Unusable Stock Photos.”
Into 2014, the Getty Image photo continues to make the rounds on Facebook and Tumblr.”
i can’t believe i leveled up enough to unlock cake pillow guy’s backstory
I can’t believe the “sweet dreams” joke didn’t occur to me
Sometimes you have to just treat yourself like an overtired toddler.
“Okay, as soon as you finish this assignment you can take a little nap.”
“You just cleaned your room, good job!”
“Hmm..maybe eating a snack will stop you from wanting to cry.”
Sometimes? I think you mean all of the time.
Oh my god he really looks like That
Here are some gems from the article:
That he responded to a 10-minute bit mocking him with “it means ‘barrel-maker,’ an honorable profession” makes me believe that Mullaney was 98 to 100% accurate.
Endless SPN Edits: Time After Time, 251/∞
How the heck did her hair get braided like that? Did she and the other officers just have a braiding train at night? ????
do you think Peggy carter needs anyone to braid her hair? she does it herself. The right hand’s nail polish? my girl has it covered. Zipping and unzipping the back of the dress? pff… Peggy Carter can do anything. Liquid Eyeliner? in one try. Peggy carter can do anything.
anything.
a n y t h i n g.
That’s not a braid. It’s a roll. It is one of the most beautiful hair styles to come out of the 40s and is incredibly simple. The hair styles you should be impressed with are these.
Waves: I had a 1920s themed dance last month, and I wore my hair in waves. I sat in a chair with a professional stylist for AN HOUR for FOUR of those beauties. I see at least eight. And she does those regularly for work.
Victory curls: I can do victory curls. Two, to be exact. Not counting practice, I have worn my hair in V-curls exactly twice. It took me an hour and a half last time, and I didn’t even curl the ends, just two v-curls on the top of my head, and they weren’t nearly this amazing. Again, another casual work look.
Do you think Steve curled her hair? Fat chance. Be in awe of Peggy Carter. Be in awe.
I now have a mental image of Peggy Carter doing her nightly routine, which of course doesn’t necessarily happen at night, just whenever she has a chance to lie down and sleep. It starts with sitting at her desk, where a mirror has been wedged into the right position by militarily files, but she doesn’t look at it any more. Instead she’s pouring over whatever has to be memorized for the following day, fingers working on automatic as she wedges pins into place. It takes forty seven pin curls to get the look she wants, and she’s done with it before she finishes reading the memo.
There’s little flickers of red on her gun as testament to smudged nails before she learned to check her weapons first and then paint her nails. While they dry she reads something else, filing it all away for future reference and remembering key words by which finger she was painting at the time. When Peggy Carter checks her nails she might well be looking for chips, but it’s more likely she’s remembering names.
She ran out of cold cream weeks ago, but she stills has some rose water left and uses it sparingly, careful not to get it mixed up with the other little vials in her kit.
And of course there will be that one night, when the alarm sounds and everyone is forced from their beds in a panicked hurry. Peggy Carter will not only be at the center of it, but she will be the one keeping the intruder pinned down. Dressed in a faded floral nightgown thrown over her night clothes, smelling like rose water, her hair hidden under a silk scarf to keep her curls in place, gun held steadily in a perfectly manicured hand. Everyone else is dressed, however hurriedly, but it’s Peggy who is the most put together, even in her pin curls.
I love the expression, “Hell in high heels”, but frankly Hell has never met Peggy Carter.
ALL of this ^^^. Also, the glorious queen probably does her winged liquid eyeliner in that stupid jeep, bouncing along the path to a meeting.
This is the most beautiful thing I’ve read so far about Peggy Carter. *chinhands and sighs, dreamily* Because Peggy fucking Carter.
growing up won't bring us down turned 7 today!
The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS
1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.
2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.
3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.
4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again
5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out
6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead
7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard
8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.
9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals
10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks
11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped
12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home
13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.
14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near
15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again
16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds
Fucking hell
Why is number 11 the most horrific to me?
I was on the subway today, and when the train got delayed, this little kid was like, “fuck,” and a literal chorus of grown-ups went: “HEY.”
let him say fuck
I was at a crossing once and a kid’s dad said ‘and we have to wait for the green man’ and the 30 people on this crossing all stood waiting for the green man just to prove to this kid that that’s what you do. I’ve never seen anyone wait for the green man on this crossing before you just go when its clear. But Everyone Waited.
It takes a village to raise a child.
peter parker, expressing his affection as any teen would: thor i would die for you :)
thor, gripping his shoulders with the intensity of ten thousand burning suns: i would never let that happen
peter parker, later that week: i would die for you loki
loki, looking him dead in the eye: you will.
drax: [really bad joke]
peter parker: mr. drax? I would die for you
drax, with a pause spent determining that peter is probably joking and then a hearty guffaw: but my muscles and fighting power is several times your own! your death would be meaningless!
peter parker, in the middle of battle with no regard for his own safety: i would die for you
t'challa, who has lived with shuri long enough to know exactly what answer peter is looking for: then perish
Details From Disney Movies
In The Lion King, unlike the other lions, Scar’s claws are always displayed throughout the movie.
In The Little Mermaid (1998) when King Triton is introduced, you can see Mickey, Donald, Goofy and Kermit the Frog in the crowd, underwater.
In Cars, the flies are actually tiny cars with wings.
In Hercules (1997) the Fates tell Hades all the planets will align but only show 6 planets aligning. These are the 5 planets plus Earth that the ancient Greeks were aware of and could see with the naked eye.
In Zootopia, while Officer Judy Hopps is ticketing cars around the city, she never crosses the street illegally. She always uses a crosswalk and looks both ways before crossing.
In monsters inc, sully’s chair has a hole in it to accommodate his tail.
In The Brave Little Toaster, all of the walls in the cottage are cleaned only as high as Blanky can reach.
In Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, during the food storm the president’s of Mount Rushmore get pied in the face but Abe gets hit in the back just like his assassination.
In Cars the truck stop advertises “convertible waitresses” i.e., topless.
In Finding Nemo, Bruce the shark starts crying when Marlin starts talking about Nemo, saying “I never knew my father”. Male sharks mate with the female then leave, so baby sharks never actually meet their father.
The Magic Carpet from Aladdin makes an appearance in Moana.
In UP, there are craft supplies on the table by Ellie’s hospital bed when she gives the Adventure Book to Carl.
The hold up scene in the Incredibles is actually an homage to a similar scene from Die Hard with a Vengeance, which also starred Samuel L. Jackson.
In Toy Story 3 (2010) Buzz Lightyear’s batteries are exposed showing the Buy n Large brand, the same company responsible for making WALL·E.
In Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego’s typewriter resembles a skull and his office a coffin.
In Monsters, Inc. (2001), there are multiple sizes of coffee cup for each of the different sized monsters.
In Toy Story 2 (1999), as the restorationist is going through his equipment, he opens a drawer filled with chess pieces. This is a reference to the Pixar short “Geri’s Game” where a similar looking man plays a game of chess against himself.
In Inside Out (2015) while going through Imagination Land a game box can be seen in the background with Nemo on it called Find Me.
In Cars, you can spot Sully and Mike in cars form!
At the end of Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego is a little bit fatter. This is especially poignant since he states, “I don’t like food, I love it… if I don’t love it I don’t swallow.”
In Coco we can see The Incredibles poster.
Insuricare, the company that offers “car life insurance” to the cars in Cars 2, is the same company Bob Parr works for in The Incredibles.
In Inside Out (2015) two of the memory orbs on the shelves contain scenes from Up (2009). One features Carl & Ellie’s wedding, while the other shows their house.
In Toy Story Woody is trapped in a crate which is stuck under a ‘Binford’ tool-box. Binford is the fictional tool company in the TV show Home Improvement which starred Tim Allen, the voice of Buzz Lightyear.
In The Incredibles, in Bob Parr’s home office, there’s a photo from a fishing trip where it appears he caught Bruce from Finding Nemo.
In Cars 2 (2011) while in a pub in London there is a tapestry on the wall that is the DunBroch family tapestry from Brave (2012), except they are portrayed as cars.
In “Ratatouille” (2007), Linguini has to hide Remy before his second day of work. He offers to hide him in his pants, revealing his briefs covered in The Incredibles logo.
After the plane is blown up in The Incredible, Helen (Elastigirl) knows the plane debris is going to fall on them due to seeing the reflection in the water.
THIS
It was a total dream. Noah is such a caring actor and he would always check in with me after scenes asking me if I was comfortable or if there was something else I’d like to try… He’s truly your dream co-star to work with, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Lana Condor & Noah Centineo photographed by Emman Montalvan.
It’s important to know where you stand on certain issues. Okay, like what? For example, I don’t want you to kiss me anymore.