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Keni

Origami Around

Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day

#extradirty
Peter Solarz
AnasAbdin
Sade Olutola

if i look back, i am lost
Cosimo Galluzzi
NASA
Today's Document
Monterey Bay Aquarium
almost home

⁂
Game of Thrones Daily
will byers stan first human second
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Kiana Khansmith

seen from Türkiye
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seen from Russia
seen from Philippines
seen from Jordan
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Mexico
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@laurie--34
Aziraphale is soft and crowley is cuddly.
Aziraphale snaps.
Regular aziraphale and crowley with tiny aziraphale and crowley?
Kissing time! The tinier they are the bolder they get >:3c
Crowley spent the next two hours screaming and panicking
If Brand Names Were Anime Characters
Credit: @sillvi_illustrations
This went from normal to oddly dark to normal again, gave me whiplash
Is the artist ok…?
this is really fucking good even tho i just witnessed my sleep paralysis monster but you know that’s alright
WTF did fast food do to the artist?
I was prepared to scroll past this, but then it got so fucking weird so fast
These were originally three separate image themes and sets. The first one being “Soft Drinks as People”, the second being “Fast Food as Horror Movie Villains” and the third being “Car Brands as People”. OP crammed these all into one post without the context, just saying “Brands as Anime”, so people got thrown off by the tonal shifts.
This was a wild fuckin ride
one thing I’m grateful to my mom for is telling me from a very young age that if a man ever says he’ll kill me if I don’t do what he says, that I should fight and die. that it would be better to die than to be brought to a second location, it would be better to die instantly than live a little longer after god knows how much violation. i know that other people’s moms gave different advice, to be quiet so you can live and get away. little girls all got some kind of advice on what to do, though, huh? like… WHEN a man wants to hurt you. it’s surreal to think about how this shadow affects the landscape of girlhood
YES my mother said the same thing. Plus bite and scratch to get DNA, scream that you don’t know him, cause the biggest scene you can….but DO NOT get in a vehicle/go anywhere with him because “you have to assume that if you don’t get away right then, then you won’t get away at all”.
Your mom was right. That is standard self-defence advice — fight, scratch, scream, aim for testicles, eyeballs and and the throat. Use your teeth, your nails, your elbows, whatever you can. Maul the fucker.
If someone grabs you and intends to move you towards a second location, fight like your life depends on it:
Because it does.
And in case you think, “I’m smaller than him, I can’t do shit!” my trainer likes to tell this one:
Think of a cat. Cute, fluffy, adorable, right? Much smaller than you. Imagine picking up that cat… and then having a friend dump a bucket of water over it. Hell no, right? You’d get straight-up shredded. Even a big solid guy wouldn’t want to do that.
You don’t have to be the dude. You just gotta be the cat.
You don’t have to be the dude. You just gotta be the cat.
Thank you for this, I’m taking this with me in all walks of life.
Can reach the eyes? Stab and scoop them from his sockets. Reach his balls? Crush and twist. Hand over mouth? Fingers are now baby carrots. Chomp chomp
If you’re on a bike, cling to it. Make it harder for them to snatch you because now they have a bike to deal with as well. Be embarrassing. Make a fool of yourself to make scene. Scream bloody murder the whole time you’re able.
Show no mercy for you will most likely be shown none as well. Go down in a rage. Make them regret even thinking of considering you.
No one is intimidating right after they’ve been poked in the eyes.
If he’s got both hands on you he’s not defending vulnerable spots. You’ve either got at least one hand or your teeth and legs free and it takes 8 pounds of pressure to do serious damage to a throat.
Do not be quiet. Do not fight fair. Do not hold back. If you’re being attacked and someone’s trying to make you move, whatever’s gonna happen if they get what they want is worse than whatever’s gonna happen if you maim or kill somebody and get away.
I loved in one of those “I Survived” stories a woman was being attacked by a man and she suddenly realized “This doesn’t have to be a fair fight” and just went batshit on him. Also kudos to my badass mom who also always taught me to go fucking feral, even if a man was holding a gun to me, because it’s better to die fighting and your family to know immediately what happened to you, then to disappear and no one ever finds your body.
Learn from my Mom’s cat Miss Kitty, who will fuck you up if you touch her without permission.
Ears are nice targets. Smash them into their head, or twist those fuckers like you want them to come off.
The strongest muscles in your body are your jaws, and if anything is in range of your teeth BITE. Bite like you want your teeth to meet. A good thing about human mouths is they’re full of bacteria, and if you manage to break skin, you will almost certainly give the perp a nasty infection.
Whilst germ warfare won’t save your life at the time, consider it as a reminder NOT to fuck with you.
If your mouth isn’t full of flesh, SCREAM. Your attacker does not want attention, and you do. You’ll start to push the scales in your favour as the likelihood of witnesses intervening increases. Like most predators, your attacker is trying to pick a fight they can win - they do not want to suddenly take on another person who has been attracted by the commotion.
Remember; you’re fighting to survive - defer to basic instincts and rip shit up. Your ancestors will be proud.
Why slam the door once when you can do it three fucking times?
i had an incredibly visceral reaction to this
there’s so much more of these, this is the source.
this 1 centimeter ruler might be my favorite.
Ineffable inktober day two!! Eden!!
Bonus: a smooch
We all have that one class that triggers our fight or flight response
If you’re gay it’s probably PE
If you’re trans, it’s probably also PE
allow me to make a refined version
(initially it said “hating PE but I rectified it to be more fitting)
I’M A BUNCH OF THOSE THINGS
FUCK PE
His name is Omar Salem and unfortunately he's now being harassed online because he's a "labour activist" and online fascists claim his appearance was a set up
Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.
Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.
About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.
“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”
Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.
I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.
About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.
I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”
She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.
She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.
Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.
“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”
I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.
He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.
He deleted his Tinder profile.
Came out a that kitchen like:
This is the most extraordinary thing I have ever read
one of my father’s hindu colleagues was surprised that my family didn’t make everyone say a christian prayer before we sat down to eat dinner. we were like “….this is your house.” and she laughed and said that her christian friends “make” her pray all the time. like what the fuck. how fucking rude can you be to make the host pray to your god. you are in their fucking house.
I say this as a former Christian
Christians will deadass claim to be oppressed but feel comfortable and safe enough to:
Force non-Christians to pray to the Christian God in their own fucking homes
Go door-to-door to proselytize
Call people to proselytize
Take classes to proselytize (my mythology teacher actually dealt with this, and now has to include a warning on the first day of class)
Cross the fucking ocean to proselytize
Openly tell people they think they are going to Hell
Insist that their beliefs should influence the law
Get all pissy if someone says this isn’t a Christian nation, but a beautifully mixed one.
Have radio stations built around their religion
Have movies based on their religion
And fucking everything else
In short, Christian Supremacy needs to be addressed and religious imperialism stopped.
Tell children who are forced to go to Christian/Catholic schools by their parents that they have to pray at school with everyone else and if they don’t like it they shouldnt be at a Christian/Catholic school, despite said children not having any say in what school they attend because they’re children
Unions are trash. Theyll Destroy a whole company for firing a shitty worker.
unions are the reason you aren’t paid 2.50 an hour with steel beams about to bust ya head open shut up lol
Unions are why you have 5 day, 40 hour full-time work weeks. Unions are why they have to pay you in actual dollars instead of “company credits” that you can only spend at the company-owned stores. Unions are why there are fucking fire exits at your place of work. Unions are why it’s not okay for your supermarket ground beef to be any percentage human.
You think your company pays you out of the goodness of their hearts? Or even out of “market pressure?” The “job market” is a myth perpetuated by the capitalists. Corporations would pay you nothing if they could get away with it. And you argue “oh, but if they paid me nothing I’d just go to another one.” Wrong. Because to maximize profits, they all want to pay you nothing. Corporations exist to maximize profits while reducing risk for investors. It’s part of their entire function to find ways to cut costs as much as possible, and that includes finding ways to pay you nothing.
Unions are your defense against that. You think all a union does is strike? If you pay union dues, a lot of that is spent on lobbyists in various governments reminding your lawmakers that you have rights as a living human being that a corporation should not be able to stomp all over. Unions hire lawyers so that if you’re fired for bullshit reasons, the union can stand up for you against your boss. They’re called unions because workers are uniting to pool resources so that they can stand up to these corporate overlords with more money than God. Unions exist because you might not have the words, resources, or time to fight workplace injustices all by yourself. That’s the whole fucking point.
And if a business shuts down because a union is striking, it’s because the business was abusing people and didn’t deserve to be in business anyway. Don’t make excuses for the corporations. They already have trillions of dollars and a couple million lawyers to do that for themselves. They don’t need your help.
*tastes potion like a chef testing the soup* hm. needs more eye of newt.
this is hilarious + its even funnier if u kno that eye of newt is probably mustard seed
so who else was today years old when they learned that “eye of newt” is mustard seed and not the literal eye of a newt or am i just dumb
Theres even more beyond eye of newt
no wonder my potions never work the way they should
wait are we calling out the underaged girl being exploited by older people ? like we’re not going to try to help her we’re just gonna shame her and try to get her arrested for cp?? im sorry …? what?????
like yes obviously that’s very concerned by ??? this shit isn’t ‘yikes she so problematic lets call her out’ but ‘holy shit this young girl is selling/posting inappropriate photos of herself can we please be adults and try to put an end to this???’ like. are we stupid? have we all collectively lost our minds?
This is also fucking how predators keep kids from 14-17 from telling anyone about their abuse cuz creeps tell the kid “you’ll get in trouble because you sent me pictures of yourself and that’s child porn” like y'all are just reinforcing the tactics pedophiles use on minors are you guys fucking dumb???
this kid’s post and his replies to people’s questions are so pure I’m sobbing
What’s better— the thread is filled with people giving some good advice on how to respect a woman’s boundaries and how to ask what she would be okay with, publicly. Lots of trans girls thanking him for being so patient and thoughtful with his words, and lots of people cautioning him that his purpose as a boyfriend would be to keep her safe, even from his own friends and family if need be. A+ shit right here.
This is so FUCKING cute help me
You know I’m not always proud of what my libido wants but at least I’ve never wanted to fuck Pennywise.