lavander/axl

27 out of spite | she/her | polyam lesbian | french unfortunately | never not crafting smthg | zine blog> @starkittyzines | i talk more about tlt than i had anticipated

[lavandxr]

this is my "who tf is this" post

here on bluesky

hi i'm axl, artsy lesbian dork, i'll be yapping about my girlfriend a lot and sharing crafts probably

26 / from france but mostly sharing stuff in english anyway / zine blog: @starkittyzines / reblogging lots of tlt bc how could i not / new(ish) to tumblr: returning after many years to flee the other garbage apps

my ig/twt accounts were/are gayspambot/tournesoldev/tournesoldeviant

eventually my own posts will be under #lavandxrpost

get to know me with music: favorite albums post

[duskdragonxiii]

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

[duskdragonxiii]

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

[thinkingabout-girls]

this pride it is mandatory that everyone is nicer to lesbians. especially trans lesbians

[obsob]

the weird fucking thing in my house

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[dewberrys-sillyblog]

god the horrible urge to vague post is eating me alive but i must

[dewberrys-sillyblog]

someone wronged me once

[birdwarde]

I present to you, the second bird in our Bird Bags lineup, The Pigeon!

Preorders will be available this Saturday for National Pigeon Day!

[lavandxr]

oldest daughter duty: dad asks me how to get in contact with my brother, aunt gives me the message to congratulate him, extended family i run into ask how he's doing because he's seemingly disappeared

fully responsible for the communication here

[emailsicantsend-fwd-deactivated]

I love getting "prev"ed, it's like getting a good grade on tumblr dot com, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve

[lavandxr]

got injured on my wrist in a dream and woke up with my wrist actually feeling some ghost discomfort in the same spot, brain too powerful sleep too low quality

[charl0ttan]

in the two-thousands google earth was a video game

[lavandxr]

i am SO unfocused today CAN YOU TELL i have so much stuff to finish for tomorrow and this weekend and my brain is going so many different directions that i'm not even getting anything done in the end

[lavandxr]

i need a picture of a cake for an instagram post for the festival i volunteer for and i somehow do not have pictures of cakes in my phone. i make cakes all the time???? who am i???? send cake pics

[lavandxr]

i can say it because they're not on tumblr: i have a glow in the dark sticker for someone's bday present and now i think all stickers representing little critters and creatures should be glow in the dark

[lavandxr]

it's so great having big mega plans ahead that nobody can know about or will likely ever know about bc i have to lie to justify certain decisions just to not give shit away and that's a lovely feeling when you can't morally handle lying /s

[lavandxr]

can i get away with biking to pickup a package on work hours. my coworkers are barely starting work surely nobody will notice if i afk 30 rq

[lavandxr]

some queer people have a problem with consent in that they care too much about it. and when you dig it's not actually consent that's at hand in the issue but i think framing it that way, bc it's what they believe they're caring about, is the best way i can word this

[lavandxr]

like in reality it's not consent they're seeking it's validation that they're a good person. and that makes them do suchhhh weird shit or at least weird to me

if you frame everything as "consent" you can make very normal things look very dramatic and weaponize it because people only think of consent in the universe of sex and intimacy and any disrespect of that is a big trigger for them. but every interaction is negociation and consent in some way

people become overprotective in situations that don't require it and frame others as "bad people" because of it, and fail to protect others when it would be necessary out of fear of being themselves seen as "bad people"

like why are you standing behind me staring down the person flirting with me and thinking about what words you're going to use to talk shit about them later because you did not hear them explicitly ask me "am i allowed to flirt with you". i am consenting to the interaction by staying in it, by entertaining it, by continuing it. i am an adult with agency and do not need to be asked permission to be interacted with in such harmless ways. i do think it's cool, cute and flirty to directly ask but someone is not evil and an aggressor for not doing it. what if i use the consent language to frame the situation described in this example and claim the person overprotecting me is controlling of my relationships, taking away my agency, and infantilizing me without my consent? that would make them look like such an ass, just because it's big buzz words, rather than if i used different language. but i don't do that because there's another fantastic option which is either ignore it or openly bring up the issue

tw suicide / on the other hand, someone's about to jump off a bridge and you go "can't try to help, they didn't consent to their agency being taken away by my intervention :(", i'm exaggerating it to get the point across but barely. i'll be in a conversation where we're discussing how worried someone is about their friend doing mentally really bad and when i ask what they've done about it i learn they haven't even brought it up because they don't want to "pressure them". shut up and take the risk omg. if your friend thinks you're crossing a boundary by asking for a mental health update since you've noticed they were struggling, they will tell you. if they don't and instead go tell other people that you're an invasive person who asks too many questions, well i guess that's what happens. would you rather they don't get help when they needed it, than risk them being a little annoyed with you because it turns out they didn't? because your fear is "they'll say i tried to help without their consent :0"

idk maybe i need to be less exposed to people's interactions and thoughts because then i see patterns of shit that bothers me and think about it too hard.