Drunk Crochet

Half of the time I'm a decent person, and the other half I am myself. / My other blogs: tothestarwarsandback and traveller-witch

[femmchantress]

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

[visit-ba-sing-se]

I am running a marathon with a twisted ankle and it hurts but some pain is normal, right? Everyone says it's supposed to be hard. It is a marathon after all. I am running a marathon with a twisted ankle but honestly it could be worse, right? I heard someone once finished with a broken leg. The ankle is nothing compared to that. I am running a marathon with a twisted ankle but you can get used to pain, right? The body can endure almost anything. The problem is always the mind. I am running a marathon with a twisted ankle but I made it this far, that means I can keep going, right? Everyone says it's supposed to be hard. It is a marathon after all.

[pangur-and-grim]

I was so baffled by this until I remembered that I use my kettle, and so it looks like I'm pouring boiling water on my plants

[pangur-and-grim]

[assignedilyaoftheday]

your assigned ilya of the day is bravely using the words lovers <3

[simplysnaps]

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

[quasi-normalcy]

Hyperrealistic simulacrum of a good father

[thestuffedalligator]

“When we were kids, the Phonics Wizard came to our town to show off how the letter E can change the sounds of vowels. He turned a can into a cane, a pin into a pine. This one kid had a cap and he changed it into a cape, that kind of thing.

“And we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-”

She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. “Things got pretty bad after that,” she muttered. “I know it’s silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We don’t know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if she’s even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when I’m out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didn’t - didn’t really take that well.”

After a moment, she put the ball of twine back onto its pillow. “Anyways. They tried to arrest the Phonics Wizard, but he had a plan in case something went wrong and he turned it into a plane and flew away.”

[shiftythrifting]

Here's an anatomically correct bull plush that was donated to my shop last month.

[creativepromptsforwriting]

Prompt #1303

"You almost kissed me."

"And you sound disappointed that I didn't."

[blumineck]

Here we go again!

More of my stuff

[mysharona1987]

[theprofessional-amateur]

A ceo leaves for a week, very few people notice.

The custodial staff leave for a day, everyone notices.

Sanitation and custodial workers deserve far more money and respect than they generally get.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I don't think people understand the degree to which society is kept alive by the labor of the least well-regarded professions. If sewage technicians and sanitation workers and their expertise and knowledge were to disappear tomorrow, the streets would pile high with bodies in every city. We live in a world where we get to be blessedly ignorant to just how fast, how brutally and how violently cholera can rip through a community. How many babies it can kill. How many elderly bodies it can devour alive. You've never seen what it's like when typhoid takes root.

"Oh but we have modern medicine" if you don't have clean drinking water and a way to dispose of your piss and shit and trash you are going to fucking die. No if or but or maybe, you are dead, and so are half the people you know.

[anincompletelist]

🌸 please x

🌸 something soft for this saturday evening! x

--

Shane is in a loose sweatshirt and half covered by a blanket that appears to be fighting to keep them both adequately covered, his hair uncombed and lying messily over what David can see of his forehead. His typically rigid limbs are strung out over Rozanov’s body as if he’d fallen down there to sleep and simply hadn’t been bothered to move. Further down, his hand is in a loose fist at Rozanov’s hip, fingers twitching every so often in sleep.

Shane shifts against Rozanov’s shoulder, and David watches as Rozanov, still unconscious himself, stops mid-snore to hum something unintelligible, pulls him closer, and then rolls his head sideways until his mouth is buried in the mess of Shane’s hair. His chest rises and falls with a slow, contented breath. 

They both go still again, and David very suddenly, very viscerally understands that he was not meant to see this. In fact, that Shane had warned them not to interfere specifically to protect this. 

The phone charger tucked into his palm feels like lead weight.

--

egg hunt wip game!

[jurassicpeanut]

No bond stronger than a disabled girl and her disabled cat

[weewoo911]

Loads of Hollanov fics have them getting walked in on while making out etc which is great

But I’d love a fic where one or both of Shane’s parents drop by the cottage for phone charger/laundry pod reasons and find Shane snuggled on the couch fast asleep on Ilya’s chest and that’s how they find out

They’re dressed in soft casual clothes, sleeping like the dead and wrapped around each other like vines and Ilya’s hand is in Shane’s hair and Shane looks so so comfortable and relaxed

Meanwhile his parents are staring slack-jawed at the sight of their son using his archenemy the Russian Rage Machine as a teddybear/pillow

[importantcatpics]

[memes-will-go3-on]

That's Crowley for you

[jaubaius]

Source

[reelaroundthedavekan]

[draconym]

I think if you have food allergies or intolerances you should gain the ability to eat other things instead. Like sure maybe I can't eat alliums or brassicas, but I can eat tree bark and small pebbles.