Lover of the Leeches

26 she/her This is a cry for help

[pangur-and-grim]

a core part of being on tumblr is watching the site kick itself in the dick

[eeve06]

Random headcanon:

Carlisle has a separate photo album with mug shots of his children, taken when they were in trouble. With captions like "Edward, speeding, 1986" or "Jasper, card counting in Las Vegas, 2000"

There are most photos of Emmett.

[liarsblade]

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

[liarsblade]

[a-potato-of-death]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[leech-lover]

Picking your nose is like touching yourself. No matter what, somebody is always gonna have something to say about it. Also that you should do it in private and wash your hands before and after

[teathattast]

[fuckmeyer]

hey do you wanna play twilight renaissance with me outside

[dsudis]

So wait are livestock guardian dogs to their flocks like… Clark Kent among the residents of Smallville? He’s been here since he was a baby, we all know him, and he’s… generally one-of-us shaped, uh, approximately. And then when something goes wrong he suddenly leaps into action and does some terrifying impossible shit none of us could do. And then comes back home and settles in like nothing happened and he’s one of us again.

[relevant-catnik]

Hmm.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

[pragnificent]

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

[thingsamylikes]

I reblogged her late last year and my 2024 has been very satisfying work-wise and (secure enough to not stress out) money-wise so far. Money Snake is wise and good.

[gramarye]

you know how some cats have insane neuroses and quirks. well my recently adopted cat Rosita, who is a former feral, was said to find toes and bare skin in general "suspicious" in her shelter description. i was like, oh okay, well my other cat attacks toes, cats do that sometimes i suppose

little did we know what this means is that she not only attacks toes but if she sees you with your ankles or bare arms out for example, there is a high chance she will slap you. she will literally just come up to you and slap you where your skin is showing unless its your face. she doesnt hiss or growl or anything she will just give you a disapproving slap or two i assume to voice her disagreement with how you present yourself

this cat wants you to cover your arms and ankles NOW. slut

[mavenmemnon]

judging you

[leech-lover]

You can tell a lot about somebody based on their favorite thing the fox says

[leech-lover]

[gobusto]

i think that if poob was a real streaming service they would acquire the rights to the Madagascar movies and do a promotional campaign featuring king julien with the phrase "i like to poob it"

[leech-lover]

See the problem with being all "If I get rabies, you're on my biting list" is that rabies is passed by exchange of bodily fluids and it takes a LOT of effort to break human skin I wouldn't waste that energy on somebody I hated that much when I can just spit in their mouth

[hockpock]

ADHD time blindness be like "oh, today is the 30th? that's fine, December is still next month, that's forever away!

...what do you mean tommorrow?"

[hockpock]

happy 1 year anniversary to this post,

DECEMBER IS TOMMORROW.

AGAIN.

[verirothestar]

2nd year anniversary now

[verirothestar]

3rd year anniversary. This year was certainly something

[verirothestar]

Happy 4th hear anniversary to this post4️⃣

[robertphilip]

I think my favorite Enchanted detail ever is that, not only does Robert put Morgan's drawings on their fridge

he also takes the time to find frames so he can display them in different areas in the house

like it's the cutest thing ever to Me he loves his daughter so much 🤧

also, bonus drawing from Disenchanted bc I think it's super adorable

[robertphilip]

Robert is quite literally The Dad of All Time

[judasisgayriot]

The breadsticks thing to me is hilarious I think it must be another Europe/America thing bc my whole life ‘breadsticks’ have been these hard crunchy thin stick things you buy them at the supermarket and it says breadsticks on the box Never in my life has anyone around me referred to an actual stick of bread as a breadstick lmao But then we don’t have Olive Garden either

[newblogisnotjustanoxymoron-deac]

wait, that’s not what they’re talking about?

[wildwood-faun]

Are you telling me this meme is not about grissini? My life is a lie!

[stammsternenstaub]

WHAT

[entomancy]

I… did wonder why there would be such a focus on going to somewhere with unlimited dry wheat twigs.  Googling ‘olive garden breadsticks’ does seem to suggest a tastier thing.

Huh.

[crumplelush]

this changes everything

[little-fleur-deactivated2015103]

I mean, I thought it was odd that they everyone was so excited about breadsticks… but then I thought, well, it’s America…

[lachatblanche]

Wait they’re talking about actual bread???

[kernezelda]

grissini:

breadsticks:

[cyanwrites]

… I want American breadsticks. ;_;

[shanology]

@goodbyecassiel - this is the Great Breadstick Misunderstanding, companion to the Epic Lemonade Confusion post

[accursedvoid]

@charlottedabookworm my life is a lie

[charlottedabookworm]

Omfg same

wtaf why did nobody ever tell us they were talking about actual bread?!?!

[garrettauthor]

We literally did tell you. We. We used the word BREAD.

[ardent-ace]

but………… those aren’t breadsticks!

[garrettauthor]

They are sticks.

Of bread.

🤷‍♂️

[crewdlydrawn-deactivated2022072]

We didn’t know you had breadtwigs instead.

[defectivegembrain]

OH the joke is funnier than previously thought because those are bigger and therefore it would be harder and more socially awkward to shove them into your purse! Lol

[runcibility]

I feel like this is explaining a joke to Vulcans who are totally game to try humor, and I’m loving it.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[dearbisexual]

going to start researching sheep breeds that are like endangered or need conservation and then seek out their wool to use, preferably buying directly from the herders, so i can support them

[dearbisexual]

i found a farm that has Navajo-Churro sheep and sells their wool as roving and yarn directly to the public, along with several other uncommon breeds :) website here

[dearbisexual]

holy shit theres a lot of small farms out there with heritage breed sheep n other animals selling their fiber!!

[dearbisexual]

re: your tags, totally fine to reblog!! there's a whole database of farms im looking at now on the Livestock Conservancy website!! here's the link, all you have to do is select "yarn" or "fiber" from this drop down menu

and it'll give you contact info and websites to A BUNCH of small farms selling their heritage breed fiber directly!! you can also look up by animal breed if you want a specific kind of fiber like, say Navajo-Churro

it's AWESOME!! many of these farms seem to be certified by the Conservancy and the Conservancy itself seems to be like a good nonprofit

[botchallthethings]

Shave 'em to save 'em!