Leelu is nanobots.

Damn I should fix my description at some point but for now nothing

[essiedub]

Several Philly residents received this strange letter a few days ago

And the reaction from r/furnaceparty and r/philadelphia has been something else

[marauders4evr]

I love the lowkey implication in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (especially in the Gene Wilder movie) that Willy Wonka was minding his own business one day and he just saw this skinny looking kid staring up at his factory, licking his lips, and he was just like, “Shit, that kid needs some chocolate, but he’s clearly too poor to afford any and there’s no way I can run outside right now and reveal my existence to the world, right? Damn. Okay. I can send an Oompa Loompa. No, that’ll scare the kid. What candy does he even like anyway? What if I give him the wrong one? All right, we need to get this kid into the factory so that he can pick his favorite treat. But what happens when he leaves? Shit, shit, shit, okay, we’ll just give him the factory. Give him the whole factory. That’s the only way. But how? Come on, Wonka, be inconspicuous here. I’ve got it. A nationwide contest inviting multiple kids into the factory where I’ll reveal that the winner gets the factory. Crap, no, then there will be four other kids in the factory. Okay, no problem, we’ll just kill them all until he’s the only one left. Yeeeah, that’s a good plan. Okay, everyone, places. We’ve got literally one shot at this.”

[marauders4evr]

You don’t think Willy Wonka had connections with what seems to be the only candy store in the entire town?

And what, we’re supposed to believe that after years of starving with no money, all of a sudden, Charlie conveniently finds some money right in front of said candy store? 

And remember, in the movie (which is honestly one of the few movie adaptations that’s better than the books), the worker picks the chocolate bars that he hands to Charlie. 

Wonka and the workers knew exactly what they were doing.

Chaotic good at its best.

[pangur-and-grim]

alright I'm almost finished Project Hail Mary, and I have to say, I don't get why people are shipping the guy with Markiplier when he's already in a perfectly healthy queer-platonic relationship with the alien spider made of rocks

[tredlocity]

It's Make A Terrible Comic Day 2026

[loveletterworm]

Its still so funny that they even thought to put this in the game in the first place. Yeah sure to get 100% completion you have to actively break the terms of service on purpose. This is normal

[exhuastedpigeon]

Having "a lot" of followers on tumblr is funny because probably 80% of them are ghost blogs who haven't been on here in like a decade.

It's like, no no, those aren't my followers, that's a graveyard! I'm the caretaker of a thousands of tombs. I love them, but they've been dead for seven years.

[durgenjune]

dragon with binky :)

[claypigeonpottery]

I truly sacrificed to create this ridiculous mug. biting clay is a bad sensory experience 😔 who would have guessed

I’m tempted not to glaze the bite marks so it looks like it was bitten through the glaze lmao

[raychleadele]

I showed this to my husband and he said he wants four mugs like this in various states of eaten, so he can swap when no one’s looking and make it look like he’s actually eating it.

[stjohnstarling]

The social forces that prevent you from being able to admit to your own desires in the safety of your own mind are far more evil than any desire you could have.

[stjohnstarling]

Unacted desires are fundamentally neutral, and you can't decide what to do about the things you want unless you can admit to yourself what they are in the first place. Everyone has desires that would hurt other people if they acted on them, but most people would not actually go out and do anything they know would cause harm. Far more harm is done in this world by people who are trying to pretend they can't possibly want anything they think is bad than people running around going "ehehehe I love hurting people!"

[stjohnstarling]

Providing people with a way of exploring the dark parts of ourselves in a way that cannot hurt anyone is one of the purposes of both fiction and kink.

[stjohnstarling]

All of us have a hungry, horny, angry, scared animal inside ourselves. You do not need to excuse or justify what that animal wants, it simply is. You cannot escape it. Lying to yourself about the animal that you are will only give you less control over it, not more.

[stjohnstarling]

Tags by @sybaritick

Yeah almost everyone is interpreting this as being exclusively about sex and, while that is obviously included in this post, I do mean something broader than that. These tags are a good example.

[indolentjellyfish]

Lumpy Goth Friend Glass Sea Slug

[littlegrayowl]

Omg my heart 😍 thank you @vasheden for the reblog first so I could see these wonderful creechurs

[divinum-pacis]

A priest sprinkles holy water on a pet snail during a blessing of the animals service marking the feast of Saint Anthony, at the San Anton Church in Madrid, Spain, Saturday, Jan. 17, 2026. (AP Photo/Manu Fernandez)

[femmchantress]

I don’t care if Monday’s yuck

Tuesday, Wednesday tread through muck

Thursday maybe eat a duck

It’s Friday, Flat as Fuck

[balaclava-trismegistus]

"An insult to practically everybody with any point of view at all" one of the most beautiful sentences possible with the English language.

[apenitentialprayer]

Is this the quote about the Black Bomber?

[apenitentialprayer]

It sure is.

[rylandgraces]

i think if i were a jedi i would make it my life mission to make yoda angry. i would give anything to hear his little goblin voice mutter the words “thin fucking ice, you are on” and click his little cane on the ground. i would do anything. kick him as im walking and be like “oh sorry didnt see you there.” go with him to the market and try to buy him for four credits and say “oh my bad i thought you were a head of cabbage.” raise all the chairs in the jedi temple just an inch. catch him while he’s sleeping and paint his little nails and then be like “odd that someone caught you slippin master yoda. wonder who could have done that.” leave crumbs in his seat in the jedi council. i mean i would do anything

[politijohn]

Source

One year later…

Source

[yanguang]

no context wuxiaposting

[probablybadrpgideas]

Rarer D&D alignments

Bastard Good: You make the world better for people but in a really obnoxious way so everyone low-key hates you for it

Chaotic Dead: You set yourself on fire at the start of each session

Informed Evil: you're wearing a red cape and cackling so we kind of assume you've probably done some bad things off screen, right?

Lawful Pointless: You follow the rules of chess in every situation you find yourself in.

False Neutral: HAHA FOOLS! I WAS NO DRUID! I WAS A PALADIN ALL ALONG!

Lawful Anxious: You follow very strict laws but you don't know what those laws are or if you're breaking them.

Personal Evil: rather then making things worse for sapient life, you work to make things worse for Steve specifically. Everyone else is fine.

Centrist Neutral: "I don't support The Chained God Tharizdun breaking free and unmaking all reality but if we stop him through force we're just as bad as he is. Did you know there's actually zero difference between good and bad things?"

Sponsored Good: You provide justice, compassion and the great taste of subways sandwiches! Put in the code SMITETHESINNERS when ordering online for 20% off!

Sexy Lawful: You follow very strict rules but in such a way we kind of suspect you're getting off on it.

Chaotic Incidental: You act completely randomly but by sheer chance your actions turn out identical to if you followed very strict rules.

Theoretical Good: You want to do good things to help the world and once you stop binging Netflix you're absolutely going to.

Ugly Neutral: None of the other alignments want to hang out with you so you're neutral by default

Chaotic Meta: You pointedly refuse to follow the rules of the game you're playing.

Thirsty Evil: Look, orcs are hot, ok?