So, Eric integrated. I never really got to talk to him. He's been locked in the dark room for a while now. Kya was in there for a bit. (She's out now and she's ok.) When Kya came out she said that she saw Eric literally frozen like ice. So I went and I unfroze him but then he disappeared. I thought he died at first but the way he went reminded me about how Crystal and Kristina integrated. I started shaking and I got a huge rush of memories coming back to me. I already had these memories of trauma but they were clearer and had audio now. It was scary. Now I'm really emotional and I was very unprepared for this. He's not dead, he's a part of me now so I shouldn't be sad. This is a step forward to complete integration and that's a long term goal of mine.
"The dark room": the dark room is a place in our inner world. It's a very cold, empty, pitch black room. Alters go there for multiple reasons. We might get trapped in there somehow due to not being able to front for a long time, if we're feeling unstable mentally or need to process some trauma memories, we might just wake up in there and usually this means we have to fix something. There are many more reasons but basically when we're in there we are unable to front until we figure out how to get back out.
"Eric": Eric is a 14 year old, male alter. He's very emotional and shy. He has the most traumatic memories. (Or at least, the clearest memories out of all of us.)
"Integration": integration is when someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder's alter becomes one with another alter. (Usually the host, original, core.) When this happens, all of said alter's memories, experiences and personality joins with the host.
\\\Disclaimer! This is only what I know. I did not google what integration is but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. :)///
"Trauma": Trauma is when a person experiences something extremely terrifying or "traumatizing" that usually leaves the person frozen due to not knowing what to do or how to respond to something so horrifying. Trauma has to occur in someone's younger years to cause Dissociative Identity Disorder. (Usually around the ages of 2-8. Correct me if I'm wrong!)
"Crystal and Kristina": Crystal and Kristina are two alters I had when I was around the age of 7. They were sisters. Crystal was an 8 year old girl. She was my best friend at the time because I didn't have many back then. Sooner, Kristal split. She was our protector. When I was about 10 years old Crystal integrated and a few days later so did her older sister, Kristina.
"Inner world": An inner world, also known as "headspace," is a place in someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder's mind. Its a place for all of their alters to live, communicate with each other and process memories involving trauma together.
///Correct me if I'm wrong or forgot to mention something in the explanation!\\\
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