come on, clotpole!

crime does pay but im bad at saving money

[sygol]

Hi I'm 1 years old and learning to read through your posts. Cigarette.

very good job using your words! will someone get this toddling bitch a smoke

[toastbutteregg]

[ashstfu]

idk but when i discover new books and music i’m just excited to be alive again. yes a bit dramatic but that’s how i feel when i discover them

[anticurses]

[fleshengine]

laying in bed, high as fuck, thinking about balsamic vinegar

[puppygirldick]

Its like grape soy sauce

[fleshengine]

:/

[puppygirldick]

Both are brown liquid made from mold growing on it

[fleshengine]

You know, you're not wrong. I still don't have to enjoy the truth.

[fleshengine]

Good fucking luck. I think I'm like 1-6 when it comes to people saying that on my posts. If this breaks 200 I'll be surprised.

[marithlizard]

It's been a while since I said "this person wins the internet", but today it is merited.

(via bsky)

(The classic XKCD comic)

[milfyspamton]

anyone remember what these things are called like little cartoony expressive doohickies i think they have a real name but i can’t remember

[milfyspamton]

im not fucking crazy.

[milfyspamton]

if i have one more person say sparkles on this post im gonna blow i swear to god

[evengirlierballs]

They're squeans I'm pretty sure! If they pop like that anyway. But the term for this kind of "symbol to refer to the general vibe of something in art" is called "Emanata" because it emanates from a person or object.

[creepymutelilbugger]

what the fuck. comics are magic

[charlesoberonn]

somebody put a quimpsy spurl on my blorbo

[eirapparent]

she quimps on my jarns til I nittles

[jeanritchie]

everyone in the entire world lives in chicago

[jeanritchie]

if you don’t live in chicago you actually do btw

[local-eldritch-abomination]

[threeacresandacrow]

[eixd-deactivated20150710]

The rest of the space is going to be pretty pissed when they see this. 

[thesassycat]

did you google how to take a screen shot

[escapedheart]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[valtsv]

sick of hearing about "healing crystals" that "cleanse your mind and body of negative energy" i want to know which rocks can hurt you and fuck up your vibe so bad

[valtsv]

everyone suggesting uranium isn't wrong but anyone who said "literally any rock if you're willing to resort to violence" are the only people who can get on my level. you're hired.

[milfbaitt]

caincore

[valtsv]

okay which fandom that sprung up out of nowhere overnight like mushrooms after rain is this a reference to i can't keep up anymore

[valtsv]

oh you meant like. that guy from the bible who invented murder. right.

[uss-edsall]

Does anyone have this picture

But it’s a parody of Master and Commander’s opening title

I swear I have seen this before and I cannot for the life of me find it

[kesslersymbolic]

This image?

[uss-edsall]

YES

[eddardsharpe]

[bacony-cakes]

PNG'D! (i didn't know the font so this is taken directly from the image)

+ bonus italian navy vessel

[catgirl-kaiju]

[moldspace]

they have some flowers to give you (more weird vases)

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[xanaxfarts]

[certainly-april]

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

[grimoiremanifest]

❗️Great Hog is displeased by this.

The kingly pig looks taken aback by this statement. "You claim to be 'baiting' our kind?.. A master of it, no less - after all the trust we hsve placed in you?"

- Your relationship with the Hog Society 🐖 is now Unfavourable.

[certainly-april]

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

oh wait just realized i can edit my own posts.

like you can't edit reblogs anymore but you can still edit your own post even after it has a thousand notes or whatever.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

i have the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

[2colde]

it's thousand yard stare summer

[creekfiend]

physical therapy was good, and then we went to visit the gay leathermen in atlanta to ask them about shoulder stabilization and they were very nice and we had a lovely conversation. I love gay people. talking to gay people energizes me. it was a bit funny how the guy I was speaking to about it clearly had to totally recalibrate his brain around how small I was. it's very funny interacting with the kind of super butch gay men who mainly interact with other super butch gay men and have them sort of go "huh. I forgot about the tiny lesbians." like he was like "yeah yeah you're pretty small I guess" when I first mentioned the display ones being too big, I'm a way where he clearly sort of thought it wasn't that much of a difference, and then when he was trying to adjust it to sit on my shoulders he was like "oh you're like SMALL small" 😂 yes sir. all your tall muscular display mannequins are over twice as large as my body, that is correct. my shoulders are very narrow. yep. you wouldn't believe how narrow it is possible to be.

ship described how they were when we entered the shop as like how horses act when a dog enters the paddock. like, initial startlement? slight apprehension? mild confusion? cautious investigation? this is a mammalian quadruped but it is not horse? ? ? and then finally "oh ok this is fine this is normal this is a regular animal who I can be regular around"

it's fine that all my analogies for types of social interaction involve animals, do not worry about this even a little bit.

[creekfiend]

yes yes yes. exactly this. I'm so happy to know that we have both shared this experience across space and time

[lichen-soup-scribe]

I (a tiny trans man) once went into a gay sex shop in Cap Hill in Seattle looking for a leather cuff-style bracelet but they were all far too large for my dainty wrists. The associate (a burly man in a pup hood, a jock and not much else) cocked his head, thinking, and then was visibly struck by inspiration --

he led me over to the cock rings, some of which were leather and fastened with a snap, and suggested that perhaps one of those would work?

[creekfiend]

ksksjfhf help that's so funny. "well sir, I don't know about the cuffs, but is your wrist perhaps approximately the circumference of an ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE TONKER?"