um, your scar's on the wrong side

maddie, 25, she/they, lezbean

[coughsyrupgcv]

britana icons !

like or reblog if you save :)

[icecreamsandwichofficial]

Rose Landry highest self esteem of all time. she has mediocre sex a couple times with a guy who seems not all that into it and goes "hm. Well, I'M definitely not the problem. the only possible answer is that he is Gay."

impeccable reasoning, no notes.

[bridferchglyn]

“Yuna Hollander POV” this, “Imagine you’re Yuna Hollander” that… Valid, valid. But let’s shine a glorious light on DAVID Hollander for a minute.

Imagine you’ve spent most of your son’s teen and adult life supporting the hell out of him and your wife as they jointly steer his career into the astral plane of international hockey stardom. You’re so proud of him, but you also worry that the focus of his life may be too narrow. You gently encourage him to smell the roses - go down Youtube rabbit holes (whatever those are), take a holiday to London, maybe even date? After years of only surface-level relationships, he develops a true friend in Hayden Pike, and you breathe a sigh of relief. He shows an interest in real estate and design, and you’re delighted to encourage him.

You’re thrilled when he gets a girlfriend after so many years alone. When they seem to break up but remain on good terms, this fuels your growing suspicion that he might be gay. Then Scott Hunter kisses his boyfriend on the ice. Shane immediately takes a call and comes back with a giddy smile on his face. That’s really all the confirmation you need.

You gently break this to Yuna (I love how the show changes that “we know you pretty well, Shane” line from her to him, because it matches characterisation they’ve added to David as an insightful father and husband). Yuna immediately wants to talk to Shane about it & make contingency plans for how it might affect his life & career if true, because she loves her kid & wants to cover all bases ASAP, but you talk her down. “Let him come to us,” you say.

Shane tells you he’s doing a silent retreat for his time off this year, but you need to charge your phone, and it’ll be good to check in on him (you always worry about him being too isolated, too lonely). So you head over only to be… well, astonished to see him kissing his arch-rival with an easy familiarity. Shit, shit, you should NOT be here. You panic & leave - let him come to you (Shane’s flight response is also inherited).

Just as you and Yuna are discussing whether you should go back to the cottage, he does come over. With Rozanov. You’re a bit shellshocked, and the whole thing is awkward as hell at first, but also… Rozanov looks at your son like he hung the moon, talks him down from a panic attack, and it turns out they’ve been doing this for almost ten years. The same ten years that you spent encouraging Shane to pursue happiness and live a full life. Of course it breaks your heart that he felt like he had to do it in secret, but he still did it.

That’s your boy.

[livingasaghost]

genuinely i do think it's crazy how this show hit every single mark for no reason other than pure love of the game. like this wasn't a money grab and it didn't think it would be a big success, jacob just read a book he enjoyed and thought huh i think that would be a cool thing to make into a tv show. and then he brought on hudson and connor and they're fresh and passionate and not bogged down by the industry yet and they instantly became best friends and wanted to just have fun bringing these characters to life. and they didn't have a huge budget but they did the most with what they had and everybody took the show seriously and everybody took the book seriously. the cinematographer worked his magic. the music supervisor managed to snag a well-known queer hit and an up and coming new release and old school gems that have been around since the 2000s. it's canadian to the core, built from the ground up. it takes russians and the russian language seriously. it uses sex in such a specific, meaningful way that almost no other show has done thus far, and especially not in a queer context like this. they interlaced every episode with callbacks and parallelism and self-references. they didn't take themselves too seriously. they took everything so seriously. there is love and care baked into the core of this show and it's deeply queer and it doesn't shy away from the horrors of toxic masculinity and hockey culture but it is also, always, a story of joy and love and happiness. and on top of everything, it's almost word for word, the original source material from the book.

like damn it's no wonder this thing has made us all insufferable and become a huge fucking success! so few productions in hollywood are doing it like this!!!

[thepoisonroom]

heated rivalry is awesome because ilya's constantly like i'm a sick bitch i like freak sex but gets scared the minute he gets a little smoochie meanwhile shane is like i'm normal i'm normal and he's five seconds from reinventing free use just out of his own beautiful mind

[tvuniverse]

“We can have a week or two, Ilya,” Shane said. “Haven’t you ever wanted more time?” - Chapter Twenty-One

HEATED RIVALRY -> 1x04 // 1x05 // 1x06

[leclercari]

Shane’s own heart started going a little crazy. “You should see a doctor about that.”

Ilya grinned and shook his head. “Is just being in love, I think.” — The Long Game, Chapter Ten

[erlie]

I got around finally drawing Ilya and Shane from Rachel Reid's Game Changer series.

[rocktheholygrail]

Jennifer’s Body (2009) || Hannibal (2013-2015)

[puppes]

[teh-nos]

oh no my pornography is turning into an angst-filled character study

[renee561]

Oh no my angst-filled character study is turning into pornography

[evilphrog]

[allpiesforourown]

[thememedaddy]

[tchaikovskaya]

had to be there i guess

[arvethli]

I told y'all it was a pun

A very long thread on it: https://twitter.com/lmrwanda/status/1505646738627088389?t=06aHTTZkf1ZaJyCDhWUzTg&s=19

And the punchline, if anyone wants to jump there directly: https://twitter.com/lmrwanda/status/1505648702119202823?t=IHkQWeElTa0T63o3lbr12Q&s=19

[honeylazors]

[fierceawakening]

that’s excellent

[thisarenotarealblog]

cracking open a cold one with the sumerian dog

[foldingfittedsheets]

I feel like I’d like to try riding a camel at least once.

I then anticipate that I’d very quickly want to stop riding a camel.

[inbabylontheywept]

When I was a kid, I once saw a camel at a zoo eat a whole plastic bag. It then started making horrible noises, white foam on its lips, before spitting out what appeared to be its whole stomach. Literally. Like, the organ was dangling from its mouth.

By that point I was incoherent with fear. I thought it was dying. I ran as fast as I could to find a zookeeper, and when I did find one I couldn’t even talk, I could only sob and drag them towards the camel.

The zookeeper followed me until we got to the camels. Then I was finally able to force out something about it choking to death on a plastic bag. The zookeeper, bless her soul, squinted at the “dying” canel and said: Ah. No. Not dying.

Horny.

And I said: What.

And she said: Yeah, he’s got a “thing” for eating plastic. We’re working on it. Sorry that it scared you. Then she left.

And that is how I learned that camels show their mood by vomiting up a special horny organ and panting up a bunch of white foam.

Now you know too.

Sorry. :/

[inbabylontheywept]

I googled it to see if 8 year old Babylon was overreacting or if it really was scary and no, it really does look that scary. Sweet Christ.

[foldingfittedsheets]

I NO LONGER WANT TO RIDE A CAMEL

[dykeofalltrades]

hey i looked this up. its their fucking soft pallet. its called the dulla. no matter how weird you get with science fiction aliens, planet earth has made something youd never have imagined

[taldigi]

Hello???? Suggestions????

[solarishashernoseinabook]

[Image ID: screenshot of a discord message and some autocomplete suggestions. The message is "I just think he's overworked and" and the autocomplete suggestions are "I, underfucked, he". /end]

[nealashitposts]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

[nealashitposts]

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

[hyperrbolic-orange]

"Man its too bad that im straight since I've got like no gag reflex and all."

"Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery."

"My god... everything's coming up Jason."

[popli-teal]

[noodle-the-queen]

Ao3 does not need an algorithm, you're just lazy

Ao3 does not need a 1-5 star rating system, you just want to bring down authors writing for FREE

Ao3 does not need automatic censorship, it is an archive, therefore anything can be posted

Writing or reading about something illegal does not mean the author nor the reader condones it, if that were true, you could never read a story involving anything negative

Purity culture is ruining fan culture and you all are fucking annoying

[hachama]

[pbxkreal]