90% chance i'm stressed

the url says it all. between 18 and 23.

[visenyaism]

Marylanders don’t say hi hello how are you my name is they just try to kill you with their car. which is of course a great honor in their culture

[visenyaism]

In Northern Virginia the country of my birth people kill you with their car because you deserve it. sic semper tyrannis

[lesbakerstuff]

[photo id: tags reading # at least it's an honor in our culture # unlike in nova where they do it for the hell of it /end id]

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

[velociraptrix]

women in STEM (shenanigans, tomfoolery, escapades, and mischief)

[swagophile]

me: yeah i guess its not even a kink thing really, like yeah i want a mommy but moreso i just want the kindness i was never afforded in childhood

mob guy: yeah. i undastand dat. my mudda, god rest her soul, was a complicated woman,

[fwizard]

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

[userfish]

hey you 🫵 have you washed your water bottle lately? 🫵 it’s getting hot and mold is going to grow 🫵 wash it 🫵

[feldfrog]

I used to be monotheistic. Until the great worm that I worship got cut in half

[eggnogtoast]

trying to bed a knight like: *unbuttons your jupon* *unbuckles your cuirass* *unbuckles your gorget* *takes off your hauberk* *stops to catch my breath* *unbuttons your gambeson* *takes off your shirt*

[todays-xkcd]

Most coffee shops have a descendant of Sophia of Hanover on staff for this, but just as I was about to ask for help, a previously unknown heir of Uther Pendragon who was ordering a muffin tripped on my laptop cord.

Arthurian Connector [Explained]

Trancript Under the Cut

Title: Cursed Connectors #158: The Arthurian

[A mock-up of a plug and socket connector, with the socket being an anvil and the plug being a sword.]

Caption: (Can only be unplugged by a rightful heir to the British throne)

[lorillee]

big tshirt that says YOUR INTERPRETATIONS MUST HAVE A STRONG BASIS IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL on the front and I HATE FUN on the back

[squeakitties]

the prawn bomb exploded into shrimpnel

[squeakitties]

a lot of people were krilled

[transjudas]

never take for granted the moments when you’re not nauseous

[namethatghostling]

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

you're not making enough of stone fruit season. that's another thing you're fucking up. a few dozen stone fruit seasons you get your whole life. you need to take a hard look at your peach and mango consumption.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

there's a group of high school boys in this McDonald's and I just heard one of them say "I bet you you cannae break your own arm" so something interesting might happen shortly

[estoult]

(person who hasn’t read the primary text voice) what if I made some reductive assumptions

[demonius-darkblade]

I hear being kind is punk but is it ska? Is being kind ska? I don't care about being kind unless it's ska.