sorry for the thunder

| rey | lesbian | always image descriptions | griffin personally came into my house and destroyed my heart | icon/wrrwolf, banner/oxy-dox

[sunspriite]

lup as fuck

[thirdchildart]

Here's some good good boys finding out where there be gerblins.

[pseudonomicons]

One week until Death Blart.

[parkerthejester]

[thewrongshop]

[ID: The outline of the side profile of a person's head with a speech bubble to the left and an arrow pointing through the person’s mouth to the speech bubble. Text in the person’s head reads, “Our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives and with each moment we spend with those people. But too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favor of others, and by the time we realize just how important it is, we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with.” The speech bubble reads: "Yeah it’s just a comedy podcast called the adventure zone, yeah it’s pretty hard to listen to in the first arc yeah, haha yeah it’s got lots of dick jokes yeah." End ID]

[chryseis]

FYI every purchase of any of The Adventure Zone music on Griffin McElroy's Bandcamp will be entirely donated to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund for the rest of the year. His music is set at 'name your price', and the McElroys are also going to match the donations.

If you've listened to even a bit of any TAZ campaign, you surely know what a fantastic musician Griffin is, and there is no better time to purchase his music than now.

[orcixs]

[thatgirlonstage]

Visit Original Link

I’ve been working on this for months and the truth is I could continue to add to it forever but I want you all to enjoy it with me

[gnomebud]

transcript:

Griffin: [as Jenkins] A witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need, and that word is my fucking name, Jenkins. Justin: [snickering]

G: Are you naming your goddamn wizard Taako?

G: Oh- shit. Oh, god, oh, god, where’d it go, oh no, no, no!

G: If possible, I would love to- to avoid a shitting-based solution? Uh, A, because I don’t want to know what exists beyond the explicit tag in iTunes? [Justin laughs] I don’t- like, is there a fucking NC-17 rating? I don’t wanna- I don’t think I wanna be a part of that. But also- Justin: [crosstalk] Hey! G: I would also not like this scene to drag on out as long as- as a human being’s digestive cycle.

G: [background laughter] Fun show, fun show games!

G: And I think I just described a plant orgasm. And this has been Fifty Shades of Green [Clint laughs], starring four idiots.

G: So the end of that sentence that you cut off was- and I- so I won’t be able to put up with any shit today, but the problem is I already have? Now people will stop tweeting about me that I said one of Barry’s favorite things is swimming in a cold lake on a hot day, and then in two episodes later say he didn’t know how to swim.

G: ‘Kay, you and the box both drink POISON! And you survive, but the box has died. Clint: That means it’s open, right? G: Yes, with that the box pops open and it has 900 gold pieces inside. Everyone: Yeah! [cheering]

Travis: I get it. Justin: Damn, that’s a good door! G: No, it’s- [yelling] let me finish describing what happened to the door! I’ve been trying to tell you what happened to the door for like ten minutes!

Travis: I tap it with the Glutton’s Fork and I swallow it. Justin: [muffled wheezing] Griffin: What the fuck!

Griffin: [laugh-crying] You’re gonna turn him into a man tube? [wheezing] You- you’re gonna turn him into a bag or a shelf with the rock sitting on it-

Griffin, loudly: What the fuck?! [audience laughter] Travis: Double damage is- 4 and 3 plus 4 and 1. Griffin: I didn’t give Marvey HP!

Griffin: Is the stapler in here? Anyone want the fucking stapler?

Griffin: Oh, Jesus, you love this shit! [Travis, crosstalk: I’m sorry-] It’s your- You’re a fucking pervert! Fetish- you’re exposing everybody to your fetishes! Travis: I’m so sorry!

Griffin: Uh- it is an uneventful climb to the twentieth floor. And, uh- as- Travis: Floor twenty! Griffin: as- as- What? Justin and Travis: [snickering] Floor twenty! Griffin: [pause] We’re not gonna say anything better than that- Travis: Griffin, we have to fight some weeds at floor twenty. Griffin: We have thirty minutes to go, and we’re not gonna say anything better than that. Did you even think about that?

Justin: I grow bored with this fight. [laughter] Griffin: Okay. [crosstalk] Justin: I’m- I’m casting polymorph on myself- Griffin: Oh, fucking- wow. Justin: Griffin, I’m texting you- [Griffin: oh]because you’re going to need this information. Griffin: Oh my god, Justin. Justin: Yes. [Wonderland music starts] Griffin: Taako’s arms sink into his chest, so that he’s just got, sort of, little arms, and his head gets really big, and really long, [Clint laughs] and his teeth get very sharp, and he grows a tail, and he turns into a tyrannosaurus rex.

Griffin: [yelling] Oh, NO! Are you keeping track of how many times you rolled as well? Clint: [crosstalk] To be honest the educational system in Huntington, West Virginia sucks- Travis: Twenty-five! Twenty-five! Four, four! Twenty-five! Twenty-seven! [overlapped with Justin] Griffin: it’s dead- STOP! Stop! You’re killing him! Travis and Justin: Thirty! Thirty-six! Griffin: Stop! He’s already dead! Travis: One more, one more, one more- [Clint: C'MON!] Travis and Justin: Thirty-seven! [A pause as the audience laughs] Travis: His parents feel it! Griffin: You fucking- you fucking- this turtle’s- this turtle’s parents- Travis: [crosstalk] Is that where the turtle’s brother dies? Griffin: -forget about him. This turtle was a successful turtle author, and the words on his books fucking vanish. [audience laughter] You have erased this turtle from existence.

Travis: But my butt- Griffin: [yelling] Come on, I’m in hell! [crosstalk] I’m dead and in hell now! You opened the door! You built the fucking door! Out of wood! Shitwood! Shame on you and shame on us!

Justin, as Taako: Garfield? Griffin, as Garfield: Yes? Justin: I have something I think is really going to interest you. Griffin: [yelling out of character] OH MY GOD! Justin: This is the Slicer of T'pire Weir Isles [background laughter] and I notice that you have a really cool sword. It’s a Flaming, Poisoning, Raging Sword of Doom, I believe it’s called. Griffin: Oh my god… Justin: And- I’m looking at your entire stock and it does seem to me that’s your most valuable posession, would you say that’s accurate? Griffin: [laughter, as Garfield] Yes, it’s absolutely the most valuable thing in the store!

Griffin: [very tired] I didn’t expect it to go like that. [audience laughter] Um- and- Travis: What did you expect to happen? Griffin: [yelling] For you to catch a fucking fish in my fish mini game! [audiene cheers] Is that so- Am I out of my mind? Is that an unreasonable expectation? To give them a fucking fish mini game- Taako makes the lake float, Travis jumps in with a rapier, like, “let’s get it done!” and Dad makes, the- the fucking shit teleport away! [audience laughter] Clint: Welcome- welcome to The Adventure Zone, Griffin.

[thatbastardlass-deactivated2021]

[handsmotif]

[ID: Griffin McElroy saying, “Teens are very much into the following: bullying me on Tumblr.” /END ID]

[altarofistus]

of all fucking days, you had to choose that one.

[dramatic-audio]

[ID: a sketched comic of characters from The Adventure Zone.

In the first panel, Madame Director Lucretia is sitting at a desk making notes on a paper. She is saying, “Avi, Boyland, Carey…”

The second panel zooms in on the paper she is writing on. It says “Avi ~ Nov 22 / Boyland ~ Feb 2 / Carey ~ July 30 / Davenport ~ ”

The next panel, Lucretia turns toward the door to her office and shouts, “Davenport!”

The next panel, Davenport appears in the door. Lucretia, offscreen, says, “Do you have a moment?” Davenport responds, “Davenport!”

In the next panel, Lucretia is kneeling on the floor beside Davenport, who is standing beside her with his hands behind his back. Lucretia is holding a calendar in front of him and saying, “I don’t think you ever told me when your birthday is! Could you show me, Davenport?”

In the next panel, Davenport examines the calendar before pointing to a date, June 29th.

The next panel shows a close-up of Lucretia’s face, looking horrified. She’s saying, “….. Are you sure?” Davenport, offscreen, says, “Mm!”

We pan up to see Lucretia, still looking horrified. Around her are sketchy drawings of her face and other faces, all looking scared, lost, or near tears. Words are swirling around her head, including “Who?”, “Back Soon,” and “Davenport.” She’s saying “June… 29th…”

In the next panel, we see Lucretia in profile as tears form in her eyes. Beside her we see Davenport looking at her with confusion and concern. He’s saying “?”

In the final panel, Lucretia is on the floor, sobbing into her hands. She’s saying, “Dav- Daven (sob) port, I’m so sorry I- sniff- I didn’t know (sob) I’m, I’m sorry, so sorry…” Davenport is standing beside her with a hand on her shoulder.

End ID]

[sgrumby]

“Okay, fuck, marry, kill: Avi, the Director, and, uh,” Taako says, “the red robe!”

He’s lying on Lup’s bed, his head hanging off the side and his feet up against the wall. She’s sat on the floor next to the bed, clutching the bottle of wine they’ve been working their way through.

Lup thinks for a moment and says, “kill… Avi.”

Keep reading

[questbedhead]

I fucking love Barry Bluejeans cause, okay, imagine you’re like, the store keep at a dark magic shop or smthn, and you’re up to your regular nefarious retail shenanigans when in walks in this guy. This, this fucking chubby-fantasy-Tom-Arnold looking motherfucker. This guy who looks like you’d find him shopping for lightbulbs at the Home Depot on a Saturday morning. This guy who looks like he belongs in the footwear section of a department store, comparing the prices between nearly identical pairs of plain white socks. This guy comes into your incredibly deadly and illegal Darke Magyk Emporium flanked by a pair of incredibly hot elf twins. They come up to the counter and ask if you have any books with level 12 spells. Level 12? you ask, skeptical, but cautious. 12 or higher, says This Guy, with a shrug. The elves look bored. 

You pull down an enormous spellbook from the fancy, imposing shelf you have behind the counter. You have to climb the cool roll-y-ladder-thing to get it, and it is fucking heavy. It has tarnished silver clasps. It’s got arcane symbols and pictures drawn in beautiful, terrible detail. It is bound in fucking dwarf skin. You put the book on the counter with an ominous boom and This Fucking Guy goes oh neat!, like he’s looking at a half-off sale on Bran Flakes instead of an incredibly sick and dangerous magykal tome. 

This Guy flips through the spell book. The pages are thick yellow parchment that smell inexplicably of rotting flora. This Guys hands are soft, and look kinda sweaty. He lands on a page in the middle and excitedly points to a spell, sliding the book towards one of the Hot Elves. The Hot Elf is equally excited, and you watch in horror as the two of them coo over some of the most diabolical Necrotic incantations you have ever seen like newlyweds browsing through novelty kitchenware. The other Hot Elf has picked all the molars out of the jar of teeth you keep on the counter and is rolling them like dice. 

This Guy has decided to buy the spellbook. You ask what he’s willing to pay, in your best spooky salesperson voice. He digs through his jeans for a moment and pulls out a handful of thick, golden coins. They are engraved with pictures of strange, otherworldly creatures. The writing on them strains your eyes. You are literally having trouble comprehending what This Motherfucking Guy is trying to hand you right now. Who even is this Guy?? You try an Deception check. This Guy is not trying to trick you. You try and insight check. This Guy is completely sincere. You try True Sight. This Guy is a mother fucking lich. 

There is a Mother Fucking Lich in your shop and he looks like a middle-aged house-husband. 

This Mother Fucking Lich buys the book with his weird coins. One of the Insanely Hot Elves drapes themselves over his shoulders. None of them bother clean up the teeth all over your counter. As the three of them head out of your shop you call out to them, in horrified reverence who the fuck even ARE you??

The Lich looks over his shoulder and stares you dead in the eyes. My name is Barry Bluejeans he says, deadpan. You die, instantly. He leaves. As whatever sinister machinations you have prepared for your inevitable doom are set into motion, you realize one of the Hot Elves switched the gold coins out for candlenights gelt. Anywho that’s why I love Barold thanks for coming to my Ted Tal

[argonaut--keene]

Take this as seriously or not seriously as you want to. Have fun!

So, I spent an entire afternoon working on this. Enjoy! Let me know what you got and whether or not you think it fits!

[its-a-nickname]

fitzroy maplecourt is the demon prince

alright im throwing my hat in the ring for weird graduation theories just hear me out

whoever this doppelganger hieronymous is has some relationship to the demon prince right. I think him just being the demon prince is too easy. He might be an advisor or something idk. Anyways the demon prince wants to get to the wiggenstaff brothers right. But theyre clever, they’ve been hiding and theyre good at it. This doppleganger and the demon prince need to infiltrate the school. but higglemass could fiddle with memories and minds, he could figure out that the demon prince is posing as a student…. Unless the demon prince doesn’t know he is posing as a student

if the wiggenstaffs can fiddle with memories why can the demon prince and co. what if they took an unsuspecting student from elsewhere, who just happened to be wrong place wrong time and fiddled with the demon princes mind to make him believe he was this random student they had found. This random student? the one and only Fitzroy Maplecourt.

I say that they abducted the real Fitzroy or something and have him locked away somewhere? And gave the demon prince his memories so now this demon prince believes he is a student at clide nites knight night school and has never done magic in his life (its interesting that the demon prince turned hieronymous into a dog while fitzroys first act of magic was catfishing his teacher js). and after the demon prince catfishes his teacher and gets transferred to the wiggenstaffs school, they have an in, the demon prince cant be caught by the wiggenstaffs bc he himself doesn’t know what hes doing or who he really is

What proof do I have? easy

I like this idea a lot.

Fitzroy is weird about his family and yeah it might be bc he has some issues with status or whatever but it could also be that he doesn’t really know them.

Theres some weirdness about why he wants to be a knight. He was so adamant about being good, and being in a position where he could do good and idk if I was an evil doppalganger that was fiddling with the demon princes mind, I would very much make sure that he doesn’t have any evil, demon prince like tendencies (like,,, swearing perhaps??)

in conclusion i will not trust sir fitzroy maplecourt until i see him and the demon prince in the same room

[hotdiggetyshit]

Visit Original Link

i cant stop thinking about lup hearing the entire balance soundtrack muffled from inside the umbrastaff…

[actvii]

[taz-ids]

[Start ID. A cartoony drawing of Lup. She is seen from above, one arm folded over her squinting eyes. Her hair is long, styled in an undercut. It is implied she’s squinting out from her room in the umbrastaff as she says, “They better be doing some bomb-ass stunts.” End ID.]

[lesbian-taako]

i love graduation—at the beginning of the arc we (generally) expected the firbolg to be the sweet character, fitzroy to be the asshole with a heart of gold, and argo would be the charming one. now we know fitzroy would die for his friends, loves his pet crab, and has heart of gold, while firbolg is a himbo, and argo is a hot mess

[lesbian-taako]

fitzroy the tiny disaster barbarian, most of the time: im very sweet and collected, would scream if i saw a spider

fitzroy the tiny disaster barbarian when his friends are threatened:

[image description: man holding a cat like a gun w/text “peace was never an option”. End ID]

[susiephone]

what up, y’all, i did something that i’m sure has been done 10000 times: made a “which red robe are you?” quiz. reblog and tag your results!

[fioblah]

bro.. we are cryptids and in love bro....

[id. dani and aubrey from the adventure zone. dani is a pale young woman with curly blonde hair, wearing a white tshirt with a green over shirt. she is looking lovingly at aubrey, who has dark skin and short curly red hair. end id]