Posterity can bite me @lesbianflamingosgif - Tumblr Blog

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

nealashitposts

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

hyperrbolic-orange

"Man its too bad that im straight since I've got like no gag reflex and all."

"Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery."

"My god... everything's coming up Jason."

dancinbutterfly

Pure of heart dumb of ass hetero of sexual

???

evil-scientist

i have invented this bunny-defeating wire to defeat bunnies

bunspaceemissary

that's so mean...

welldigger62

First peek for Thursday

Things are very quiet here this morning, just a few cars and no wind.

It won’t be too long before there are all sorts of harvesting equipment and trucks rumbling about. I drove by the sugar beet processing plant the other day and they have all the stacking machines staged and ready. The beets are stored in giant piles and processed throughout the winter.

No plans so far today. I am still doing clean out and throw out in the garage. It’s surprising the amount of junk one can accumulate over the years.

Happy ‘almost Friday’ guys. 😃

mamoru

🇺🇸massive recall of food, baking ingredients, and cosmetics due to insanitary conditions, filth, and rat shit contamination🇺🇸

over 150 items being recalled, including some intended for babies. the FDA warns that all products held or distributed by this company may be dangerous.

this recall is so bad that you need to clean and sanitize anything that has even touched the outside of these products.

the recall link may move in the future. this recall has its own special FDA page right now because the FDA issued an advisory immediately after inspection, before a recall could even be issued. the findings of the inspection were just THAT fucking disgusting.

Products were held under insanitary conditions with potential contamination with filth.

June 3, 2025 On May 27, 2025, Pan-African Food Distributors initiated a recall of various products it sells. FDA continues to have concerns for all products held and distributed by Pan-African Food Distributors due to the insanitary conditions observed at the facility during a routine FDA inspection, including a rodent infestation and numerous rodent droppings on multiple product containers. FDA is advising consumers and retailers not to use, eat, sell, or serve cosmetic and food products distributed by Pan-African Food Distributors of Louisville, Kentucky. FDA is working with the firm and their direct customers to remove all products of concern from the market. More information will be provided in this alert as it becomes available.

some emphasis mine.

the distribution center was inspected, the FDA found a massive rodent infestation, and they shut that shit down. literally, they found a ton of rodent shit all over the products. although the distribution center is in kentucky, these products may have been distributed nationwide.

pan-african food distributors is also doing business as (dba) east africa boutique, LLC.

the FDA says more updates will be issued about this. because this one is a big deal.

Products held under insanitary conditions and contaminated with filth could pose a serious health risk, potentially leading to various illnesses, including leptospirosis, hantavirus infection, salmonellosis, yersiniosis, E.coli infection, and rat-bite fever. People should contact their healthcare provider if they suspect they have developed symptoms as a result of eating or using these products.

some emphasis mine.

the risks here are varied and bad. bad bad. bad and potentially deadly. if you have used or eaten or even held these products and experience symptom, GO TO A DOCTOR!

Consumers should check their homes for food and cosmetic products distributed by Pan-African Food Distributors and discard all products. If you do not know if your product was distributed by Pan-African Food Distributors, throw it away. Additionally, consumers should carefully clean and sanitize surfaces that could have come in contact with potentially contaminated products.

clean and sanitize ANYTHING these products have touched!!! if you are not sure if your item is part of this recall, the FDA says the risks here are so bad that you should just throw it away!

recalled items include baby food, baking ingredients, various types of flours, soaps, shampoo, lotion, baby powder, and so much more. this list contains over 150 recalled items. so check under the cut for the list, or visit the link at the top of this post.

fleshdyke

always remember gay men are the reason we dont have to pay for public bathrooms in canada

the-text-party

WAIT HUH??? IM CANADIAN????? WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARS ABOUT THIS UNTIL NOW??????

fleshdyke

two gay men got arrested for fucking in a public bathroom but they argued since you had to pay for it it was a hotel and it was fine. their defence worked and we dont have to pay for bathrooms anymore

hieronymus-botch

Ok guys I know we want to celebrate victories in queer history but

1. Googling "Canada gay sex pay toilets" just brings up a bunch of reblogs of this post

2. There does not seem to have been any sort of norm of public toilets in Canada charging money to use in the 20th century

3. I am neither Canadian nor a lawyer but I find it extremely hard to believe that there is any jurisdiction on earth where charging money to use a public toilet makes it legally constitute a hotel room and therefore OK to have sex in.

fleshdyke

thats because i lied about this

diamondcitydarlin

diving back into msscribe lore made me remember this; imo one of the funniest things about the My Immortal fanfic is the context to which it was born in the HP fandom at the time. In the early 2000's, HP fandom was a veritable arms race of who could write 'the best' most 'sophisticated' HP fanfic and the BNFs (Cassandra Clare, for example) were elevated to their pedestals because they were seen as the most talented fic writers. There were pissing contests, passive-aggressive comments about so-and-so being 'a mediocre fic writer' just shared between supposed 'friends', like one's popularity currency absolutely depended on whether or not the fandom deemed one's writing 'good enough'. Everyone was trying to be the goddamn idk Jane Austen of HP fandom pretty much. Even by 2006 (and msscribe's fall from grace, if you even care lol) this was still more or less the case- so the fact that this absolute unrepentantly bad HP fanfic came out during that time, the fact that Tara just kept posting chapters and doubling-down on people's criticisms and abject horror, the fact that this fanfic gave NO FUCKS about spelling, grammar, keeping characters intact, or even the original context of HP at all makes My Immortal's existence so much funnier than it already is on its lonesome. My Immortal was a slap in the fucking face to the entire established system and it reveled in being so.

Tellingly, I think, most people online today aren't going to know those 'popular', supremely 'well-written' fics off the top of their head, but even some IRL people I've talked with know and love My Immortal. Hell, Tom Felton has read it for his IG! Amy Lee either read or reacted to it a few of years back! It has it's own wikipedia, countless illustrations, works inspired by it and a cult following even today! I can't say the same for any of those fanfics that came before!

Whether My Immortal was a skilled troll or an unapologetic teenage girl that was going to write whatever the hell she wanted to, goddamn it, doesn't really matter because the effect was the same. Maybe remember that the next time you're agonizing over whether or not your writing is 'good enough'. Sometimes, it doesn't even need to be.

malibuklaus

mooosicaldreamz

AND THE BELLS WERE RINGING OUT

38K | Supercorp | rated M

Metropolis has been abjectly miserable for the past two years, no one for Lena to turn to with her problems or anxieties. The closest thing she’s had to a friend has been her favorite Chinese place’s delivery drivers.

Lex had been arrested, Sam had left, and Jack had died all in the course of one really, really shitty year, and the year that’s followed has been exponentially more shitty. Lena’s glad it’s almost over, and that she gets to forcibly eject it from her life like a floppy disk carrying a PC-killing virus with her best friend’s help in a foreign country. Even if it’s a rainy, grey Christmas and New Year's in London.

or

Lena Luthor flies to London to celebrate the holidays with her best friend, and then she meets some girl named Kara.

#this one was so much fun

clandestinegardenias

My therapist just told me my problem is that I need to write more fanfiction.

clandestinegardenias

This sounds fake but the logic behind it is actually really interesting? She said obsession with a new fandom triggers quick dopamine release when we consume all this related content--it's easy and addictive.

What we're NOT getting is that 'slow dopamine' that's more sustainable and engaging. That's the kind we get from DOING things that take effort but are ultimately rewarding.

So like, she suggested that writing fic and making fanart are ways to balance the quick dopamine of watching a show/reading fic with the slow dopamine of working at something that takes effort.

Moral of the story is you should engage in the process of creation around your favorite things. You'll feel better for it.

owldaughter

Oh.

OH.

niwolah

The anxiously awaited yet wonderfully perfectly timed "Oh. Oh."

trin-santos

I miss the orphan black fandom. everyone was equally wild and unhinged. most of us were gay. we were all obsessed with a character who died less than 5 minutes into the first episode. somehow, the fandom unanimously decided 2 particular clones were in love based on like 3 specific quotes and a vision from god, I guess?? people also shipped all of the clones in varying combinations. not one normal bitch to be found in this fandom. it was so good.

mystellenia

merry christmas to all 🤤🤤🤤

@hazzadessine on twitter pls go look

mysweetsinfulobsessions

Direct link to the loves of my life being happy right here

lynnearlington

how can we be lovers (if we can't be friends) - chapter vi

Supergirl, Kara/Lena, M

“I believe there are no less than ten bedrooms in The Manor,” Veronica says in that voice of superiority she’s so perfected. “But by all means, continue to defile the Buttery.”

When I have no plans to abandon this fic, I mean it. More Hockey AU to be read: HERE.

ko-fi | fic tag

artgremlinart

modern! Rhaenicent but alicent's dress is inspired by the movie Atonement (2007)

Will be making more of these for sure

huffylemon

headspace-hotel

i don't think chess sets be like

slightlydraconic

I'm so sorry but

yeah

natalievoncatte

Everything was in place. Lena dropped down into the passenger seat of Jess’s car. The trunk was loaded with presents and books and Lena was ready. Jess fired up the engine of her 2009 Honda Civic and off they went, navigating National City traffic.

Lena’s stomach was full of butterflies. She had her hood up and was dressed down in sweats, not looking at all her fashion place self. Jess parked by one of the service entrances and a security guard let them in with a curt nod. Lena had dropped him a four figure tip to cooperate.

The kids were gathered in a common area on the fifth floor pediatric intensive unit, ranging in age from three to fifteen. Lena fought the lump that formed in her throat as they gathered, some of the younger ones in the laps of the older.

Lena started with a reading of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, complete with sill voices and big smiles and a lot of effort on her part to keep tears from welling in her eyes.

Some of these kids were having their last Christmas, and some of them knew it. Some didn’t. Others would go home, and a lucky few would help change the world with their participation in clinical trials.

On some level Lena knew that Kara would show up eventually- she’d been dropping in regularly enough, once learning that Lena read to the kids.

Sure enough, she showed up as the kids were eating turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy prepared under the supervision of a Michelin star chef that Lena had hired at great expense to prepare their dinner.

Supergirl, all swagger and power, strode into the room. The response was curious. They knew her of course, and she’d been there enough times, even read to them, that there was a peculiar familiarity to her visits and only the new kids got truly excited.

They were more excited by Kara’s plus one. She’d brought with her the most perfect Santa Claus that Lena had ever seen. No fake beard here; every whisker was real, as was every crease and wrinkle. Even his costume was flawless, velvet coat and paints lined with genuine fur. He had a huge beach sack thrown over one shoulder and greeted the kids with a cheer, setting to work handing out gifts.

Kara came over and stood next to Lena.

“You’ve outdone yourself this time,” said Lena.

Across the room, Santa gave a hearty Ho! Ho! Ho!, and had taken up a seat to invite kids onto his lap.

“Believe it or not,” Kara said, “he owes me a favor.”

Lena snorted and Kara winked.

“‘sides, I live at the North Pole, too. Sort of.”

Lena watched the man with the children. He really was quite good, a consummate professional.

She looked over at Kara. There was a twinge of pink in her cheeks and snowflakes melting in her hair, and her new suit showed off her muscular arms. More than that, there was a look of a wistful joy in her eyes as she watched the kids enjoy themselves.

Lena’s heart would have grown three sizes that day, if it didn’t already feel like it might burst through her ribs every time she looked at Kara, really looked at Kara.

She’d long ago admitted her feelings to herself- it was getting them out that was the problem, even now.

Across the room, Santa Claus stood, startling Lena out of her reverie.

“I’m sorry kids, but I really must go. Lots more visits to make tonight!”

He stood and walked over to Kara. “I do have that one stop to make before I begin my rounds proper. Shall we?”

He even had the perfect Santa voice.

Kara turned to Lena and offered a hand.

That was how Lena ended up in something like the setup for a bad joke: Riding in an elevator with Santa Claus and Supergirl.

It was actually rather awkward. Kara opened the roof access door and motioned for Lena, and the Santa Claus impersonator followed her out. Kara went last, lingering by the door.

“May we speak in private?” Santa said.

“Sure,” said Lena, happy to play along. She pulled her hood up against the chill and walked a few dozen paces from Kara, and Santa turned to face her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t bring you that easy bake oven you wanted when you were six,” he began.

Lena’s face fell. Lillian had exploded at her when she asked on Santa’s lap, a much less convincing Santa, and asked for the silly cooking toy.

She’d screamed that menial tasks were beneath a Luthor and Lena was supposed to ask for the American Girl dolls that Lillian had already bought, and what an ungrateful, spoiled little bitch she was. It was the first time that Lillian had called her that and far from the last; she’d added many insults to it over the years, like stupid or lazy or, most painfully of all, fat; dropping that one had sent Lena into a spiral of crash dieting that almost turned into full blown bulimia by the time she graduated from high school.

She’d never told anyone about the easy bake oven. Not even Kara.

Before Lena could demand an explanation or even speak, Santa reached into his bag, withdrew something, and handed it to her.

Lena took the stuffed bear on instinct. When she did she knew it was more than a bear. As her hands touched the somewhat ratty fur and she saw the little tear in his left ear she knew, she knew.

When the Luthors took her in, Lillian destroyed everything of her old life- everything of her mother, as if to erase her from ever existing. It was spiteful, and hateful. Lillian couldn’t revenge herself on his husband’s mistress so she did it to her child.

She’d burned Lena’s stuffed animals. They were all gone, reduced to ash.

Except… except…

“Clive?” Lena whispered, hot tears burning down her cheeks. “This is impossible, how…”

He placed a gloved hand on her shoulder and Lena felt a wave of indescribable shock roll through her. Something just… opened.

Her mind filled with an image of perfect clarity, and a song fresh and bright in her ears. Her mother’s voice and the distant sound of the sea that would eventually take her. All her life Lena could barely remember her mother- she clawed at scraps, more able to feel her than truly remember her.

Not anymore. As she clutched the bear to her chest, memory flooded her mind like warmth from a hearth fire filling a cold room. She grinned like a fool and choked back sobs.

“How?” Lena chirped out.

“Kara asked me to bring you something very special, and I do owe her a favor. I really must get going, though.”

Then she heard it. Jingling bells.

Lena had seen a woman fly; said woman had saved her from splatting on the pavement too many times. She had never seen reindeer fly, pulling a sleigh behind them.

Wait.

No.

This was not possible.

Santa Claus threw his sack in the rear of the sleigh and climbed aboard. He threw Lena a wave.

“Merry Christmas, Lena Luthor.”

“Wait,” Lena called. “Did you bring Kara something?”

“What Kara Zor-El Danvers wants, I cannot give her,” he said, with a cryptic grin.

Lena stumbled back as the reindeer launched into a full gallop with a blast of air, the rider snapping his reins. It was only then that Lena noticed that the lead animal had a glowing red nose.

Kara stepped up behind her and put her hands on Len/ shoulders.

“Kara,” Lena said. “That was the real Santa Claus.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t understand. That was the real Santa Claus. He’s real. Santa Claus is real and he gave me my stuffed bear back.”

As Lena turned, Kara smiled. “I know, baby.”

Lena swiped at her cheeks.

“I-I don’t know how you did this, but thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t even know what to say.”

Kara stepped closer, into her space. Very gently, she brushed away one of Lena’s tears with the pad of her thumb.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“He said he couldn’t get you what he wanted. I find that hard to believe.”

“He can’t just give it to me because it’s not his to give. He did give me this, though.”

Kara reached under her cape, drawing out a small twig with a pair of scalloped leaves and some red berries.

“Is that mistletoe?”

“Yeah,” said Kara.

She lifted it over her head and held it there, smiling at Lena.

It took a moment for her brain to catch up. Kara was holding the mistletoe over her head. She was under the mistletoe.

Lena faltered for just a moment, but then stepped forward, closing what little gap was left between them. Kara was every inch the dashing prince as she put her arm around Lena’s waist, spinning her a little as the other hand cupped her chin and tilted her head just so for Kara to place a gentle, loving, and utterly devastating closed-mouth kiss on Lena’s lips.

Suddenly Lena understood what it was that Kara wanted and for the second time in as many minutes her heart soared and Lena threw her arms around Kara’s neck and they swayed there like dancers amid the snow flurries until Kara flew them home.