LetMeInTumb1r

Transporting cargo in Snowrunner...

[rraviiolii]

hello!

Its my birthday today !

[charlesoberonn]

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

[charlesoberonn]

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

[gropeable-boychest]

she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her* Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

[charlesoberonn]

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p

[charlesoberonn]

Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?

[ardinwriter]

Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!

[charlesoberonn]

She isn't 29 years old. She's been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she'd be 43.

[pmamtraveller]

The Pearl With The Girl Earring by Olaf Falafel

[theheartmold]

trying to figure out dinner with my father is impossible

[crabussy]

just saw a chair so photogenic I had to reevaluate my feelings towards plastic furniture

[crabussy]

do you see this. beyond ridiculous

[crabussy]

what are our thoughts

I understand your feelings for the chair robin crabussy

unpost this right now you strange strange man

Voting ended onAug 12

[crabussy]

I hired a wizard to cast png on it. effervescent

[letmeintumb1r]

I shoot my enemy with a laser in front of a dark room turning them into the camera obscura:"heh, nice shot"

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[stealingpotatoes]

im genuinely cursed bc there's an issue with my NEW pc too. anyway here's some ryland graces i drew to make myself feel better because I know if i'm having a bad day, he's had a worse one

[letmeintumb1r]

[notahorseindisguise]

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

[mysticorset]

Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids

[notahorseindisguise]

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

[hiveswap]

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

[midnight-revolucion]

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

[notahorseindisguise]

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

[marlinspirkhall]

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

[i-am-a-fish]

I'm a type of girl

[one-time-i-dreamt]

In Croatian we call Pisces “fish” so oftentimes I say that “u horoskopu sam riba, a u stvarnom životu ribetina” which translates “my star sign is pisces/fish but in real life i am a big fish (in Croatian that means a hot woman lol)”

I stole that from a contestant on our Bachelor

[kirbyofthestars]

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

[kirbyofthestars]

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

[kirbyofthestars]

tastes delicious so good. idk what to do with it though

[kirbyofthestars]

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.

[pukicho]

I’d honestly be scared as fuck if a bunch of basic shapes came floating towards me. Yellow Prism. Red Sphere? Fuck that.

[javascript-official]

You are really gonna freak out when I tell you about the sun

[pukicho]

The Sun's fine as long as it stays over there

[veltroxx]

this made me smile, sending you warm vibes today

[pukicho]

… How warm?

[mikufanclub]

not much tentacle hentai these days whats up with that

[letmeintumb1r]

I really don't understand when people post a picture with the caption:

All YouTube thumbnails look like this nowadays

Like, BROTHER... There's such thing as recommendations. They are, usually, among other things, based on the videos YOU most WATCHED. Consider, just for a second, stop watching videos with these thumbnails. Maybe???

[just-sans-things]

my cherios spelled out my exact address this morning but like what the gudge ever i gobbled those honey nut freaks up and licked the bowl too

[just-sans-things]

someone contact my fucking lawyers

[redstonedust]

nostalgia bait is much less effective when you have memory problems. "hey its that thing from your childhood, don't you love thing from your childhood?" i wouldnt know </3 i forgor.

[letmeintumb1r]

A short story I wrote. I call it "Icarus":