[letskillthefuhrer]

Peter: Do you think birds get sad for not having arms?

Tony: Well, do you get sad for not having wings?

Peter: *trying not to cry* Every single day.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Morgan: Have you checked for monsters?

Tony: Monsters aren't real sweetie.

Harley under the bed ready to grab Tony's ankles when the light goes off: :)

---

Morgan: Have you checked for monsters?

Tony checking under the bed: I'm not falling for that again.

Harley in the wardrobe ready to jump out when the light goes off: :))

[letskillthefuhrer]

Tony: I'm having salad for dinner.

Tony: Well, fruit salad.

Tony: It's mainly grapes.

Tony: OK it's all grapes.

Tony:

Tony: OK it's wine.

Tony: I'm having wine for dinner.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Clint: Hey babe, did it hurt?

Laura: Did what hurt?

Clint: When you fell from heaven.

Sam: Wow Clint, real smooth. How about you? Did it hurt?

Clint: Did what hurt?

Sam: When you dropped out of school, hit your head and become a fucking idiot.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Clint: what's the first thing you notice when a guy approaches you?

Natasha: the fucking audacity

[letskillthefuhrer]

Judge: How do you plead?

Deadpool: *looks at Matt*

Matt: *mouths "not guilty" *

Deadpool: Hot milky

Matt: Just lock him up.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Peter: Don't you just hate when people always boss you around like "you've lost a lot of blood, you should get help" like excuse me, this is my stab wound stay out of it.

Ned: YOU GOT STABBED?!?!?

Peter: Like i said, my stab wound, stay out of it.

Ned:!?!?!?

[letskillthefuhrer]

Harley: Is it against the rules if I-

Tony: Yes.

Harley: But-

Tony: Is it your idea?

Harley: Yeah...

Tony: Enough said.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Tony: God give me patience.

Clint: I think you meant give me strength

Tony: If he gives me strength, everyone will be dead.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Tony: You need to apologize. Be a man.

Harley: I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demomsand takes it out verbally on others instead.

Tony: Well you're doing a fantastic job.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Peter: HELP! I TOLD MJ I WILL COOK DINNER FOR HER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK.

Tony, pouring milk directly into the cereal box: And you thought i could help?

[letskillthefuhrer]

Loki: Time for plan G

Thor: Don't you mean plan B?

Loki: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Jane: What about plan D?

Loki: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Sif: What about plan E?

Loki: I'm hoping not to use it. I die in plan E.

Sif: I like plan E.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Bucky: *walking and texting *

Sam: trashcan step right.

Bucky: thanks man.

Bucky:

Bucky: wait, that was a streetlight. Did you just called me a trashcan?

Sam: I mean, with all the rubbish that comes out your mouth. Yeah.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Thief: give me your money or i will shoot you.

MJ: bold of you to assume that I want to live.

Thief: you are aware that this is a real gun that actually works.

MJ: i sure hope it does.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Tony: if i had a penny for every time someone called me hot i would be a billionaire.

Morgan:

Tony: oh wait. I am.

Morgan: please just drop me off and leave like a normal dad.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Tony: You're going to hate yourself in the morning if you stay up too late.

Peter: Joke's on you, I'm gonna hate myself in the morning anyway.

[letskillthefuhrer]

Tony: Why is there blood everywhere??!

Peter: I may have been aggressively poked with a knife.

Tony: You wERE STABBED!!??!?

Peter: No no, aggressively poked with a knife.