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I want to see more low stakes headcanons. Here’s one: Ilya thinks the bread knife is always clean

omg hollanov mr and mrs smith

#heated rivalry #hollanov #shane hollander

yknow that meme where it’s like my cat when im doing a task that requires zero cats and the cat is all up in their business? yeah that’s ilya whenever shane is doing anything. my ilya when im doing a task that requires zero ilyas and then its ilya resting his chin on shane’s shoulder and nosing at his hair while shane is writing up emails to parents for the irina foundation and shane keeps mistyping bc ilya is distracting him

buglikethecomputer

i hate reddit as a whole but r/kitchenchads is the best fucking thing to come out of any website. look at these. look.

“i have had sex before” absolutely hysterical

333ml

episode 6

twitter inprnt

escapepodding

Just retired Hollanov going to react poorly in opposite directions. Ilya is going to make big claims about never exercising again then discover after a week his regular weights and cardio routine were a major pillar in standing up his mental health since he was a child.

Shane on the other hand is going to claim there's no reason for his exercise and diet regime to change, then realise without hockey there's no point. One morning he's just going to roll over and tell Ilya he wants to try cocaine.

fuckrozanov

good morning this is your assigned shane of the day

virginshane

WELL i’m still obsessed with the thought of sleep warm shane. him getting fucked, like maybe they just woke up and ilya with a hard as fuck morning wood and he’s just mumbling sweetheart i need it shane all morning croaky and whiny and shane’s barely woken when he pushes in and tbh neither has ilya and just uses shane as the best muscular cock sleeve rocking into him barely even fucking, basically jerking himself off with shane’s body

#okey

furryprovocateur

death really is too kind for US politicians

furryprovocateur

not to be untoward but a lot of US citizens are making the mass murder of iranians about themselves and there's very few polite ways to say "stop centering yourself in every mass casualty event" politely

clytemnestraaa

you knowwww that once scott hunter’s in my calvins campaign goes live shane hears a godDAMNit from the other room and then yuna comes in and goes you know honey i was thinking 🤗 how would you feel about he/they. i think we could do he/they don’t you.