Relationships between an ADHD partner and a non-ADHD partner can be tough sometimes. Here, ADDitude readers tell you how they push past the setbacks – and how they make their “mixed marriages” succeed.

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@lifeworkspsych
Relationships between an ADHD partner and a non-ADHD partner can be tough sometimes. Here, ADDitude readers tell you how they push past the setbacks – and how they make their “mixed marriages” succeed.
There are a lot of people out there who seem to think autistics are not capable of love. I recall a time during my teenage years when I did not say ‘I love you’ to my parents and rarely hugged them. I was being bullied, and had dealt with that by retreating behind my walls, not expressing affection towards others because I felt it would make me vulnerable. I say 'I love you' all the time now. I never stopped loving them; it was just difficult to express that love. After speaking with some autistic friends I’ve realized this kind of emotional shut down is quite common in times of crisis, particularly when the person in question is a teenager. I cannot imagine how difficult this is for our loved ones, whether it’s spouses, dates, friends or family. We will never stop loving you. Sometimes, it’s just so hard to express that love in words and actions.
This, and 9 other things this author wishes everyone knew about autism and romantic relationships.
The two movements [autism and LGBT] always seemed to work well in tandem, defying convention but with a view to equity and integration, instead of striking out against those who are not Autistic or LGBTQ+. I’m grateful because uncomfortable social encounters which I had previously put down to my autism are becoming more complex to analyze, with contemplating and questioning my sexuality within it. As I see my Autistic peers as brothers and sisters, regardless of where they are on the spectrum. The parallel values of patience and welcoming I see in the Pride movement reassures me in being able to discuss navigating this fresh terrain for me.
Jack Whitfield, a member of Ambitious About Autism’s youth council and a performance poet, on what it's like to be autistic and LGBTQ.
We recognize amazing LGBT leaders from across the country.
The Advocate shares the champions of Pride who are making an impact in every state across the US.
How can more activist spaces become truly radical—meaning, accessible to everyone?
I found that looking at selfies taken by other trans women was a very effective way for me to fight my own dysphoria. Seeing trans women in their everyday lives, at their jobs, with their friends, with their lovers, and even during their painful moments, helped me to understand and connect with the deep community and humanity that is so often denied to people like us. My own selfies became a testament to these women, who showed me what my life could look like and who I could be.
How taking selfies has helped this disabled trans woman gain a sense of empowerment over her own image.
A Post-Graduate Psychotherapy Training Developed & sponsored by LifeWorks Psychotherapy Center is now accepting applications
Are you a recent grad or newly licensed therapist with a passion for working with LGBTQ+, non-monogamous and/or kinky clients and a commitment to incorporating or deepening the use of a depth approach to psychotherapy? Apply for the Green House!
In the stories we tell of our lives as gay men, as survivors, the victims story is one of discontinuity, how we're not what we 'should' be because of all these things. The victory story is one that sees the ways we can grow from them. It provides hope, direction, and allows you to learn from the experiences.
Brian DeVries, professor of gerontology at San Francisco State University, quoted in "The Power of Choosing Resilience"
"A talk addressing the hardships and obstacles facing the day-to-day life of those who identify outside of the gender binary. Graysen Hall, a 23 year-old non-binary individual, sets out to promote awareness and educate their audience on some of the trials that the transgender community faces."
The 'trans' in transgender refers to transitioning and transformation, but perhaps it also means transcend: to move beyond such designations that constrain who I am. My life is in motion again and no one can stop me but myself — I’m... right on time.
"First-Generation, Non-Binary, And Just Enough The Way I Am" by A.L. Hu
Many people grow up following a cultural life script: you go to school, get a job, marry your one true love and start a family. Happily ever after! …At least, that’s a common scenario many cultures, based on #heteronormativity, have historically supported. But as many of us grow up, we realize that that version of "happily ever after" may not work for us. This is especially true when we realize that who we are—#nonmonogamous, #LGBTQ+, or more—diverges from the mainstream narrative. Without a role in that cultural life script, #queer people are in a unique position to live with intention. As we shape our own narratives, we may question each element in the mainstream prescription for #happiness, including that final step. Is having kids really essential to a happy, fulfilling life? What does it mean to become a #parent if you and your life don’t align with heteronormativity? How can you decide whether or not you want to have children at all? For more thoughts, read "Constructing A Queer Life: On The Choice To Parent, Or Be Child-Free" on the LifeWorks blog—link in our bio. #queerfamilies #queerparenting #parenting #childfree #pride #relationships #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lesbian #gay #bisexual #bi #transgender #trans #queer #questioning #asexual #intersex
"For many, this holiday can be particularly tough."
What can you do if Father's Day brings up grief, anger, and sadness? Here's a helpful guide.
Without a role in that cultural life script, queer people are in a unique position to live with intention. As we shape our own narratives, we may question each element in the mainstream prescription for happiness, including that final step. Is having kids really essential to a happy, fulfilling life? What does it mean to become a parent if you and your life don't align with heteronormativity? How can you decide whether or not you want to have children at all?
"Constructing a Queer Life: On the Choice to Parent, or Be Child-Free" from the LifeWorks blog
Read about the incredible journeys that include conception, IVF, and stepparenting from nine dads who say their kids are their worlds.
"The Advocate asked self-identified trans fathers—which includes both trans men and trans women—to share a photo of themselves and their loved ones, with an anecdote about what parenthood means to them. The responses reveal a beautiful array of family shapes, values, and hopes from these fathers and fathers-to-be."
I scrap with the idea that because I am transgender, I am somehow not 'man enough' to be legitimately viewed as someone’s father. As a culture, we need to change the narrative around what fathers look like. Fathers aren’t always born with conventional male genitalia. They don’t have to be biologically related to their children. Dads can be queer. They can be kind. Fathers shouldn’t have anything to do with upholding patriarchal male standards. Fathers are all genders. Fathers can be so much more then what our traditional view of them is.
"FtM Feelings On Father's Day" by Basil Soper
Segregation of gay fathers by pathway to parenthood is not an accident. It’s very much rooted in these networks fostered within the gay parenting community.
'Is It Mom’s Day Off?': Gay dads already face unique challenges. But the queer parenting community isn’t as inclusive as you might expect.
Here's Elizabeth Duke, Psy.D. and Adaora Aguoji, AMFT at the 2nd annual Chicago Non-Monogamy Conference last month. LifeWorks was pleased to support this year's conference, and we look forward to next year's! #ChicagoNonMonogamyConference #CNMC #Chicago #nonmonogamy #polyamory #therapists