with your tongue remove the tape @lipsarecopperwire - Tumblr Blog

optimisticbananaharmony-deactiv

"Blah! It's me, the alien! I'm gonna getcha! I'm the alien!"

- the alien from Alien (1979)

lesbian-toddhoward

she never said this. stop spreading misinformation.

an-alarming-number-of-bees

She was thinking it though.

powerjock

byjove

2025 boyfriend: I have been DMing instagram models and purchasing their OnlyFans content with money from our shared bank account. Also, I am a high value redpilled male and you should work your ass off for crumbs of my affection.

Iron Age boyfriend: help girl they’re cutting my nipples off with a ceremonial knife and throwing my bound corpse into a bog

byjove

2025 boyfriend: Despite cheating on you and leeching off you for 6 months, I am going to have a screaming crying breakdown when you try to leave me and piss myself and get so very angry when you call my mom to come get me.

Iron Age boyfriend: the crops would not grow, they are saying I have displeased the gods, this is the only way to save the people, my blood will sate this land I have dishonored. also I have 6 parasites and 3 serious infectious diseases so I was going to go soon anyway I think.

byjove

I’d like to issue a public apology for not making it clear I have never had a boyfriend from the Iron Age and this post is a hypothetical creative work about the stark differences in quality of life and dating culture in 2025 and 2 thousand years ago in Iron Age Ireland. I am so sorry for not clarifying that and potentially spreading misinformation about the 6’6" Irish dreamboat that must have been the Old Croghan Man.

myzornaccount

Now I know you're lying. There's no way an Irish could be 6'6"

byjove

Rude. Also, the crazy height estimate on Old Croghan Man isn’t so bizarre within the context of other Iron Age Irish bog mummies. Cashel Man and Gallagh Man were also very tall for prehistoric humans. Not sure what was going on in Ireland but there were a lot of tall 20 something guys being thrown in bogs ritualistically for several thousand years.

candydandyorsomething

there’s no tall irish men anymore because they were all taken by The Bog

byjove

Hozier is 6'6" because he crawled out of the bog after being placed in there in the late Iron Age.

elodieunderglass

(They let him keep his nipples.)

savedtiktoksofcats

moosekleenex

common occurrences with #adhd

important-animal-images

reallyreallyreallytrying

life hack: u dont have to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon

zooophagous

For those of you who wisely avoid Facebook have this excellent image from the San Antonio Zoo page.

Logged on to find a notice that this tumblr is 15 years old.

Am I....

back?

who is here still?

I'm so old now.

great-and-small

Free bumper sticker design for any Floridians who want it

great-and-small

This was intended to be a 30 note shitpost for my Florida mutuals but I forgot that actually everyone loathes Ron DeSantis. Genuinely heartwarming 🥹

kaijutegu

Only a part-time Florida Woman but I would also love to see him eaten by gopher tortoises.

tobacconist

vine tarot

by ‘holly sweet’ on redbubble

five feet apart cus theyre not gay

oh my god they were roommates

i wont hesitate, bitch

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU

its wednesday my dudes

(no associated catchphrase)

a potato flew around my room

i have the power of god AND anime on my side

MY POOP IS COMING

~got a red dress on tonight, dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight~

(no associated catchphrase)

(’take on me’ opening notes)

(no associated catchphrase)

heartattackmedication

Help us kick Bezos in the dick

Boss Baby Bezos is at it again! Amazon opened a union busting website for people to report workers unions, so lets do the world a favor and waste Jeff’s time, money, and life energy (I hope) by spamming his website with bogus reports. Eat shit, Jeff.

whencartoonsruletheworld

Y’ALL THEY DON’T HAVE A WORD LIMIT

I JUST SENT THEM THE ENTIRE BEE MOVIE SCRIPT

whencartoonsruletheworld

update: did you guys know all of les mis is online for free

did you know it takes roughly 5-10 dedicated minutes of clicking and holding to copypaste the entire thing

take a wild guess what i sent our old pal jeff

whencartoonsruletheworld

UPDATE update:

dat-eyebrows

That’s all fun and good but I guarentee their systems are filtering out spam.

According to what other people have suggested, include keywords which will make sure your submission gets through, and avoid keywords that might filter it.

Expletives are probably filtered, as well as major meme keywords like “Shrek”, “meme”, “Script”, “Bee”, “Furry”, “Fanfiction”, “Gay”, also “Bezos” is probably filtered too I bet.

Keywords that are hypothetically more likely to get your post noticed: “Pamphlets”, “Unions” and “Unionization”, “Capitalism”, “Wages”, “Profit”, “Labor”, “Workers”, “Emails”, “Rights”, etc. Things that would be mentioned in union emails or pamphlets. Also, use keywords that identify you as an actual employee: “Warehouse”, “Company”, “Employee”, “Coworker”, “Shift”, “On Break”, etc.

So, sentences like these will help increase legidimacy: “Another employee in the warehouse has been handing out pamphlets on unionization and talking about workers rights.” or “I’m getting emails from someone in the warehouse about labor laws and criticizing the company’s wages.”

Use things like U(state letters)(number) in the tagline and at the start. Make the name and email seem legit. Flood their systems with useless info.

So say you get past filters. Someone’s gonna read your submission, and you want to get them going. Have a strong, in-character intro and conclusion, since those will be skimmed first. Include your misleading content in the body of your submission, and try to hide it well. For instance: