Lists of 5

A website of narrow nuance and quirky categorization

[listsof5]

Thanks and Goodbye

It's been a nice run, but we're ending the Tumblr. I have this thing called graduate school and Max.....well he hasn't posted anything in about 9 months. It just seemed like the right time to move on. Here is our top 5 list of thank yous.

1. Mitt Romney

You provided us with such great material! At least 5 list posts. You got us to the Buzzfeed homepage, the Reddit homepage (2.5 million views) and a host of other sites. Mitt, thank you!

2. Google images

You made this possible. We couldn't have done it without you.

3. People who submitted list ideas: Blair, Ryan, Caitlin, Greg, Pat, Shea, Meaghan, some other peeps.

Here they are. Just a few of our friends/contributors hanging out. Not Abercrombie models

4. VH1

Honestly, I'm not sure wtf kind of programming you have these days but you were an inspiration in the 90s. Thank you, VH1

5. The fans

There weren't that many of you, but we are forever grateful for your dedication to the blog. You made us feel like Z list celebrities. Thank you!

Good night and God Speed.

[listsof5]

Sorry for the Delay

I'm working on my dissertation. Bah! Sorry for the delay. More upcoming lists soon!

[listsof5]

Ethnic Bread Hierarchy

1. Naan

2. Challah

This Jewish girl just put her own bread 2nd. That is the power of the naan!

3. Scallion pancake

Not quite as bready as the others but I'm sticking it in here

4. Pita

5. Khobz

ie Moroccan bread

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Lengthy Proper Nouns We Cant Abbreviate

We've thought of one from each category: Brand names, movies, TV, books and musicals:

1. I Cant Believe It's Not Butter

I cant believe you successfully branded an entire sentence!

2. The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain

You @sshole.

3. Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place

We are aware they abbreviated this title in later seasons

4. We Wish To Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families: Stories From Rwanda

No disrespect to the book, which is great. It's just a long title that needs to be said in full.

5. I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change

The musical comedy.....that's totally annoying to insert into a normal dialogue.

[listsof5]

Good Boston Marathon Memories

I lived on the course route throughout my childhood and have very good memories of the Boston marathon. Here are 5 of them.

1. Orange slice handouts

(The fans at this event are great)

2. The moment the Kenyan runners come by your area

(The leaders of the pack are also pretty great)

3. Heartbreak hill, where I lived

(And so is the rest of the crowd)

4. Johnny Kelley and his statue in Newton

(A Boston Marathon icon)

5. Team Hoyt

(Two other Boston Marathon icons)

Thank you to all the doctors, EMTs, police officers and pedestrians who helped to keep all participants like the ones above safe yesterday.

[listsof5]

Master Aggregators

1. Arianna Huffington

Aggregates news into a master website with liberal slant

2. Girl Talk (ie Greg Gillis)

Aggregates music into ADD-like mash ups

3. Nate Silver

Aggregates political polls into a master prediction model

4. Matt Drudge

Also aggregates news into a website with a conservative slant

5. Buzzfeed

Aggregates other people's creativity/Reddit onto another website

[listsof5]

Unfunny Main Characers Surrounded By Hilarious Supporting Roles

Note: This doesn't mean we don't like the movie. We love these movies. It just means the supporting roles were way funnier than the lead, sometimes on purpose.

1. Cady Heron in Mean Girls

2. Mitch from Old School

3. Striker from Airplane!

4. Josh from Road Trip

5. Dean from Waiting

All these people had a moment or two, but generally speaking, they were relatively unfunny compared to the others.

[listsof5]

We're Off Brainstorming For a Couple Days! Hold on tight

[listsof5]

Amusing Google Searches Part I

1. What's the deal with?

Number 3. Makes my day.

2. Why are

I had no idea this many people wondered about manhole covers.

3. How is it possible that

First two are deep.

4. Is it possible to

Is it possible that THIS many people are actually searching for that first one?!?!?

5. What's the difference between

Um, well, the first one is referring to entirely different foods...

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String of Overly Cool Word Album Names

1. Crazy Sexy Cool

TLC

2. Future Sex/Love Sounds

Justin Timberlake

3. Blood Sugar Sex Magik

4. Lovesexy

Prince.....for the love of god....Prince.

5. Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik

Outkast. My god....so many cool words smashed into one

Bonus: Luvanmusiq

Musiq Soulchild

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Uncriticizable Celebrities

How DARE you say anything bad about.....

1. Jennifer Lawrence

2. Justin Timberlake

He wears a tux and put out a throw back song. All hail.

3. Adele

4. Daniel Day Lewis

Don't even think about it

5. Meryl Streep

Again, don't even think about it

[listsof5]

Just Barely Acceptable Eating Habits II

There's a fine line between unacceptable and just barely acceptable. We like to pin down the latter.

1. Taking the nacho that's attached to all other nachos.

"I wouldn't want to manhandle this entire thing just to get one of the nachos off the plate. Guess I'll have to take this one".  We barely accept this.

2. Eating large tomato's like apples

Just BARELY acceptable. Actually this could be debated.

3. Taking the cheese off your pizza

People do this. And we just barely accept it.

4. Eating the fried part of the onion rings

And leaving the onions

5. Eating spaghetti like this:

Yeah nobody LIKES to look at that but its just barely acceptable because....well....you've been there too.

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Objects Arranged by Height

Must be things that are known or iconic for their height order

1. Russian Dolls

2. Xylophone

3. Screwdriver set

4. Von Trap Children

5. Silverware settings

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Fake Duos in Song Lyrics

1. Jack and Diane

By John Mellencamp

2. Brenda and Eddie

From Billy Joel's Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

3. Billy Joe and Bobby Sue

From Steve Miller Band's Take the Money and Run

4. Tommy and Gina

Working class couple mentioned in multiple Bon Jovi songs

5. Desmond and Molly Jones

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Group Rejects

1. The Iron

Recently from the Monopoly set

2. The tan M &M

We miss you

3. Pluto

We miss you too!

4. Wrestling

Rejected as an Olympic sport in 2020

5. Taiwan

Was kicked out of the UN in 1971

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Musicians Who Said "F You" to the Man

Not just lyrically, but in their actions. 

1. Frank Zappa to the Government/PMRC

Strong proponent of his beliefs about censorship until he died

2. Daft Punk to the Music Industry overlords

Made an animated movie about how they will continue making awesome music despite the industry never recognizing their art form

3. Trent Reznor to the music industry/his own label

Told his fans to steal his album

4. Elvis Costello to Television executives and production

Had his band play "Radio, Radio" on SNL despite being told not to. Take THAT!

5. Bob Dylan to the media

Has essentially told the press to Suck It throughout his career

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Triple (and Quadruple) First Names

All names must be normal first names for the gender of the celebrity

1. Sean William Scott

2. Charles Philip Arthur George (ie Prince Charles)

Four. first. names.

3. Neil Patrick Harris

4. Jonathan Taylor Thomas

5. Marie Antonia Josephina Johanna (ie Marie Antoinette)

Another 4 namer!