Ew💖

PLEASE MESSAGE ME I’M LONELY •I have so many damn animals. Dm for pics. •a fan of every cartoon ever made •non-binary, bisexual, they/them, 19 •100% done with everything and everyone

[two-trucks-with-everything]

Visit Original Link

YES, THIS GOT PAST- *ahem*, I mean…

Original song - Take Back the Falls / Gravity Falls Intro Rock Version

[kaijuyuri]

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

[kaijuyuri]

my proof

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

one thing I respect the hell out of is little kids lying down on the floor in public. they have had ENOUGH and are ready to go HOME and are willing to be a HUGE INCONVENIENCE about it. we can learn so much from them

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

still thinking about how much WORSE running errands is for kids. they aren't even your errands! sure it sucks for adults, but kids are 1) forced to tag along, 2) no personal investment in the outcome, 3) get no say on location, duration, timing. a kid stuck in a grocery store aisle while their parent gossips with an acquaintance is a Hostage Situation. at the bare minimum hostages should be allowed to lie down and get some rest

[penpaladinjules]

My oldest kid was especially intolerant of extra bullshit during errands. He wanted a list of where we were going, and would get irate about new ones being added to the list after we started. He called this rule “No Secret Trips,” with special contempt reserved for the bank.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i think your kid should be put in charge of a major government agency. i want him ruling the FDIC with an iron fist. i want him usurping total control over the Department Of Motor Vehicles

[namira]

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

[victusinveritas]

[razielim]

oh i'm going to misusle and straight up fuckle this knowledge so badly

[quasi-normalcy]

That apple apped continuously in my mouth

I've never seen a bird grack as hard as that grackle

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

ancient roman spell circle to contain one(1) snail

[biornicles]

hello. what.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

i don't think i can be any clearer here: ancient roman. spell circle. to contain. one(1) snail.

[sistertaxon]

[sistertaxon]

[sistertaxon]

[sistertaxon]

[teaboot]

I need to start using other sources for news

[pukicho]

Cave divers are our bravest, most useless soldiers

[fivetrench]

But without cave divers, who would rescue all the stuck cave divers?

[pukicho]

Every cave dive rescue operation involves a second, even more stuck cave diver.

[clytemnestraaa]

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can

[anarqueeen]

Turning the cuck chair around backwards to show I'm not like your other, boring cuckolds

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

*youth pastor voice* you know who else got nailed while all his friends watched? that's right,

[curioscurio]

ads these days are so sensitive to being tapped like darling my fingers barely brushed you and youre already opening yourself for me... well close those damn legs. dont make me get the taser

[martindykewood]

im barely exaggerating when i say i think of this every single day

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i just saw the saddest tiktok in the world that purported “im not like other girls, i dont masturbate because i know it would make disinterested in men forever” baby girl you have to jack off and never talk to a man again im literally begging you.

[kosmogrl]

omg the new emoji 🫪🫪🫪🫪

[kosmogrl]

🫪🫪🫪

[kosmogrl]

for those that can’t see it

[couldbeglorious]

i love him on android their eyes are even more off-center

[cee4bugza]

i don’t usually talk outside of tags but this was really funny to me

[zmpl]

has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull

[neverwonderneverremember]

sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.