LittleDiceSnake

28 year old Agender Goblin

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[moist-rosebud]

The answer to a very important question

[gothngore]

Tengu Keigo/Kitsune Touya ??? 🦊

[ensalada-de-lengua-de-pajaritos]

[crabs-and-bongos]

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[dramaticpokemonpictures]

Rest in peace Akihiro Miwa (1935-2026)

I haven't seen anyone talking about this and just wanted to make a quick post on here.

Akihiro Miwa recently passed away peacefully june 20th, and was not only a drag queen and a queer icon, but also the japanese voice of Arceus in the movie Arceus and the jewel of life, as well as the witch from Howl's moving castle and Moro from Princess Mononoke.

Rest in peace and thank you for the wonderfull impact you made in this world.

[moodyvoid]

It’s a shame they didn’t get to successfully kidnap him, because Mr. Compress and Dabi would have loved Tokoyami’s dramatic goth energy.

[moodyvoid]

Tokoyami: “Revelry in the dark.”

Dabi: “Hell yeah.”

Mr. Compress, signing adoption papers.

[snowybitch1237]

I used a prompt generator this time and thought this one was particularly funny for whatever reason

[omulya]

old works of hashira/pillars with fox warding masks

kinda dont like them rn but obanailooks ok ig

[zegalba]

Grasshopper's Dream Cafe Located: Jeongseon, South Korea

[foreveriallyzombified]

BUG SEX HEADQUARTERS

[rae-conteur]

how DARE you try to leave this in the tags

[steampunkpirate131719]

Bill Nye for most of his career: Imma do science for kids. Science without politics. Nice, tame science for the kiddos.

Bill Nye now:

[kawaii-ash]

BILL, BILL, BILL!!!!

And let’s not forget

[cosmic-dust-poltergeist]

I’d never seen that last one, but my life is better for it

o m g

[bread-jesus420]

BILL NYE SAYS WOMENS RIGHTS, SCIENCE IS REAL, LGBTQ+ RIGHTS, AND HOMICIDE IS SOMETIMES OKAY

[chaos-theory-exhibit-a]

NOTHING but absolute RESPECT for the world’s substitute science teacher

NOTHING but absolute RESPECT for the world’s substitute science teacher

[notaplaceofhonour]

never forgetting that time he danced cha-cha-cha to Oingo Boingo on Dancing with the Stars

[oaluz]

[deramin2]

That bird is so excited to play the harp.

[a-mel0n]

[turniptitaness]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[grimbuswimbus]

turn sound on for this one :3

splishy splashy

[brainshock-alpha]

FUCK YOU, LUMIOSE!!! If you're dumb enough to take out a loan this weekend, you're a big enough schmuck to come to RUST SYNDICATE! Bad deals! Threats that make you break down! Yakuza! If you think you're going to pay off your debt to Rust Syndicate, you can KISS MY ASS! It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker, you'll fall for this bullshit, GUARANTEED! If you find a better deal, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS! You heard us right, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS! Bring your starters! Bring your Megas! Bring your legendaries! WE'LL POISON THEM! That's right, WE'LL POISON YOUR POKÉMON! Because at Rust Syndicate, you're fucked six ways from Sunday! Take a hike, to Rust Syndicate: home of CHALLENGE CLIMBING! That's right, CHALLENGE CLIMBING! How does it work? If you can climb a human ladder seven stories straight up and not fall off, you get to keep your kneecaps! Don't wait! Don't delay! DON'T FUCK WITH US, or we'll rip your Key Stones off! Only at Rust Syndicate, the only lender that tells you to FUCK OFF! HURRY UP, ASSHOLE! This event ends the minute after you sign the contract, and you better not go back on our terms or you're a dead motherfucker! GO TO HELL! Rust Syndicate! Lumiose City's filthiest and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in the region of Kalos, GUARANTEED!!!

[lesbrarian]

@matchboxcat Paxton gets shitfaced, makes this ad, and sends it to Taunie like "THAT'S how you do it"

[industriallee]

forcing guzma to mature by making him hang out with petty kids

[seravph]

“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt

[rottenlittlefink]

Red Delicious Apples

[punk-rocking-nerd]

[parakeet]

5th from the bottom on applerankings.com

[voidsentprinces]

May I someday gain the same level of succinct cutting vitriol criticism as the applerankings.