[thefatfuck-irl]

[sirartwork]

reblog for noises

[ayellowbirds]

siamangs are so freaking weird. Somehow evolution produced a frog-ape.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Me, before I played the video: Okay they can’t be THAT weird can they?

Me, watching the video: what the fUCK

[gobblechopstv]

[silver-tongues-blog]

sometimes i forget that bart is canonically a telepath

[foxgirlbeans]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I saw the future. There were so few bees left that they cross-bred beekeepers with them so they could better connect with them.

I was taking a test to identify plants (I won because some dude thought pineapples were berries) and after that I met a beekeeper who worked inside of a giant glass beehive and had little antennas and a dope ass beard.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Everyone was commenting on this post, saying that pineapples ARE berries, and even I was like, huh, that’s not right, so I looked it up, and

[anxietyproblem]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

how the fuxk

[wumblr]

today i saw a cat who immediately and casually hissed at me on sight but after i said “that’s rude” he meowed politely

[wumblr]

[bisexualpiratequeen]

Once a boy looked very sadly at me after a little bit of conversation. ‘you’re so smart’ he said, ‘I feel like I couldn’t keep up’. And then he did that sad boy face where you’re supposed to agree to tone yourself down. So I said ‘probably’ and fucked his mate.

[bisexualpiratequeen]

some top advice from a slut, here, 90% of the time when some boy looks sad and tells you you’re too ‘x’ to keep up with it’s a ploy to get you to cut bits off yourself so you can come down to his mediocre level; instead, agree with him and fuck his mate

[missvoltairine-blog]

I am a slut Wen on a dayte With Boye who would Manipulate I’m not sway’d by His saddened state- I say okay I fuck his mayte

[bisexualpiratequeen]

The only good addition to this post

[pippinstook]

Ok, so, as most know hobbits LOVE mushrooms, but what if they love ALL mushrooms, even the poisonous ones. What if a hobbit’s body is able to handle more of the poison and it doesn’t affect them at all. And they love it!

[pippinstook]

And then they nearly give Aragorn a heart-attack when they’re heading to Rivendell. 

Pippin, just being pippin: Look, MUSHROoms!!

The other three, running at full speed: MUSHROOMS!

Aragorn, who is a skilled ranger who knows every plant, tree, and flower to survive: No those are poisonous!

Frodo, who’s mouth is stuffed full: No they’re not. We eat these all the time back in the shire.

Merry, speaking with his mouth full, spitting mushroom everywhere: Yeah, they’re definitely not poisonous. Do you want one?

Aragorn, now having an existential crisis: No, n-no. I’m good.

Sam, mumbling under his breath: Well I wasn’t gonna share anyways.

[enide-s-dear]

@penny-anna this seems like your kind of hobbit lore

[elidyce]

… OKAY NO WAIT THIS IS IMPORTANT

What if that’s the reason Sam and Frodo survived in Mordor? 

What if all those references to noxious fumes and tainted water and everything were completely literal? They avoided eating anything made there, but they had to keep drinking and breathing. 

What if part of Mordor’s defenses was that it’s literally poisonous to any creature not specifically bred to live in those conditions? What if Faramir was so careful about warning them about drinking the water because he knew it was fatal? What if Sauron’s general lack of concern about shit going down inside his own borders (aside from treachery, which apparently happened a lot) was knowing that any Mortal Man or Elf or Whatever that wandered in was gonna be stone dead in a few days, and his desire to catch any infiltrators on the borders was to keep them alive long enough for questioning?

And then these two hobbits who have spent their entire lives merrily ingesting enough poisonous fungi for breakfast to give Shelob a stomach-ache trot into Mordor and drink the poisonous waters and breath the poisonous fumes and scratch themselves on the poisonous thorns and feel mildly unwell.

Years later Sam gets a pained note from Faramir asking him how the hell he and Frodo survived when all the water is tainted with arsenic according to the survivors of the exploratory party and Sam writes back confused ‘What’s arsenic, it tasted bad and a bit metallic, that’s all I know honestly’ and Faramir goes to rant at Aragorn about how bizarre this is and is really confused when Aragorn goes into full-on flashbacks of watching those four tiny dumbasses STUFFING DEATH CAPS INTO THEIR MOUTHS LIKE GODDAMN CANDY. 

[pippinstook]

Oooooo, I like that!! And it would make sense after Boromir went on and on about how impossible it was to be able to breathe in Mordor.

[tradgothwillbyers]

Y'all ever just suddenly have the overwhelming urge to swim??? Like not actively but you just wanna,,, be in the water and have some Peace

[parttimepup]

Yes it’s called the mammalian diving response and it’s also why doing face masks and taking a shower is soothing. Our amphibian ancestors used this mechanism to slow down the heartbeat and lower body temperature so as not to waste calories while swimming (which is very calorie intensive). It makes you feel safe because predators are less likely to get you in water than on land. The fish brain is alive and well in all of us.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

It’s literally activated by putting water on the face.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768097/

[acidrainirrigation]

My amphibian ancestors gave me the instinct to dissociate in the shower for hours on end

[unabashedlybi-deactivated201911]

[vistakai]

People keep saying, “what if men did what you did to ghostbusters but the other way around!!!!!” but 1) You can’t. There isn’t one major blockbuster from the past 30 years with enough girls to do that with, and 2) Don’t assume that I wouldn’t completely support an all male cheetah girls reboot

[jezi-belle]

The thing is, any time a movie cast is all women, it’s About Them Being Women. Their womanhood is central to the plot. You can’t swap them out with men because the plot falls apart. An all female cast is always, first and foremost, a group of women. An all male cast is a group of con artists or scientists or pilots or paranormal investigators or lawyers – their personalities drive the plot, not the fact that they’re men. So that’s WHY you can take most all male casts and make them all female without changing the story much. Because men are seen as the default while women are a special separate category.

[astrodidact]

Just 100 companies are responsible for more than 70% of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions since 1988. The guys who run those companies – and they are mostly guys – have gotten rich on the backs of literally all life on Earth. Their business model relies on the destruction of the only home humanity has ever known. Meanwhile, we misdirect our outrage at our neighbors, friends, and family for using plastic straws or not recycling. If there is anyone who deserves the outrage of all 7.5 billion of us, it’s these 100 people right here. Combined, they control the majority of the world’s mineral rights – the “right” to exploit the remaining unextracted oil, gas, and coal. They need to know that we won’t leave them alone until they agree to Keep It In The Ground. Not just their companies, but them. Now it’s personal.

Houston tops this list as home to 7 of the 100 top ecocidal planet killers, followed by Jakarta, Calgary, Moscow, and Beijing. The richest person on the list is Russian oil magnate Vagit Alekperov, who is currently worth $20.7 billion.

The map is in the form of a cartogram which represents the size of countries by their cumulative carbon dioxide emissions since industrialization.

This map is a response to the pervasive myth that we can stop climate change if we just modify our personal behavior and buy more green products. Whether or not we separate our recycling, these corporations will go on trashing the planet unless we stop them. The key decision-makers at these companies have the privilege of relative anonymity, and with this map, we’re trying to pull back that veil and call them out. These guys should feel the same personal responsibility for saving the planet that we all feel.

https://www.filmsforaction.org/articles/names-and-locations-of-the-top-100-people-killing-the-planet/

Names and Locations of the Top 100 People Killing the Planet

“The earth is not dying, it is being killed, and those who are killing it have names and addresses.” – Utah Phillips

[filmeditors-deactivated20230605]

[deeperwells]

[weirdmageddon]

spongebob screencaps that have a feeling

[weirdmageddon]

[weirdmageddon]

[a-daks]

canon: they died

fanfic: fUCK YOU

[andordean]

Canon: and so they never met

Fanfic: here’s a funny story

[namesonboats]

Canon: There was tension and pining, but they never even kissed.

Fanfic: Actually,

[kaeltale]

Canon: Torture the cinnamon roll.

Fanfic: Torture the cinnamon roll.

[conversationswithjohnlock]

Canon: When they traveled they stayed in separate rooms

Fanfic: AND. THERE. WAS. ONLY. ONE. BED!!!!!

[caressthosecheekbones]

Canon: … and they were roommates.

Fanfic: oh my god, they were roommates…

[johanirae]

Canon: They were international assassins who assassinated assassins.

Fanfic: But hot DAMN wait till you hear about this cafe they opened

[jenroses]

Canon: They had a coffeeshop

Fanfic: but they were ASSASSINS

[pizzapopolis]

Canon: they were mortal enemies and attempted to murder each other on multiple occasions

Fanfic: bUT THEY GOT MARRIED AND ADOPTED CHILDREN

[robbyrobinabitch]

Everytime I reblog this has a new addition and it’s the best

[inkpotter-deactivated20211125]

Canon: They were straight

Fanfic: Lol

[boxofsoap]

THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST ONE

[vampirequeenoffan]

We got into a debate in class the other day about Harry and Ginny as an endgame ship (long story, art school is weird) and my teacher made a super good point saying something like

“He didn’t just marry Ginny; he married into the Weasley family. They’ve been his real family for so long that it’s a natural conclusion to his arc.”

Which, like, FUCK, but also conjures the frankly breathtaking mental image of Harry proposing the idea one night at dinner and the ensuing fistfight over which one of the Weasley kids gets to marry him.

Harry: haha so I was thinking about how weird marriage is earlier?? Like, if I married one of you I’d legally be part of the Weasley family by law???? How strange is that???

George, already conjuring a ring: Well all you had to do was ask, Harry

Percy, fighting in the only way he knows how: I can get us the best tax benefits

Charlie, also fighting in the only way he knows how but completely certain he’s going to win: 

Ron: nO ONE IS MARRYING MY BEST MATE

Ginny, already rolling up her sleeves: I’ll fight you for him Ronald

[lytefoot]

This image, though.

[divagonzo]

The family that fights over Harry stays with Harry.

[sensicalabsurdities]

Ginny has to fight all her siblings off for the right to marry her own boyfriend.

Harry was kidding at the beginning, but it ends with Ginny defeating George in an all out skirmish in the backyard and dramatically proposing to Harry as George stumbles around trying to undo like three jinxes at once, and the completely genuine “Yes” tumbles out of Harry’s mouth before he even has time to think about it.

To this day, George insists he was 100% serious, and always makes a big show about having his heart broken on their engagement anniversary.

[lytefoot]

This got better.

[theintrovertnation]

JOIN THE INTROVERT NATION MOVEMENT

[powerfulwizard]

women talk about how if they aren’t considered attractive, their entire value as a person is taken away, and white men are like oh we experience this too because hot girls with huge tits won’t date me but they don’t fucking realize we aren’t just talking about our dating lives we are talking about our entire value as a person being taken away, not just people not wanting to date us.

[powerfulwizard]

also a lot of white cis men are considered unattractive for their misogyny, bad hygiene, lack of hobbies, complete lack of charisma, lack of any suaveness, and lack of any fashion sense and not like, their brow shape or their jaw or their hips or the size of their chest or their height or how hairy they are or their shoulder width, or the size of their nose, like most of the things that make them unattractive are things that are mostly in their control and not things they are inherently born with

[wonderlace19]

Can you try not to be a complete sexist asshole for a minute? Men experience body issues too. Have you not seen a comic book movie where the main dude is constantly flexing to show off their 8 packs or some shit like that?

[powerfulwizard]

But who is designing those beefy muscle men characters?