i had the thought "what if derek was a swan and stiles was a goose and they fell in love" and i am losing it over this and having a giggle fit just imagine. derek is so graceful and stiles is a mess with sharp teeth and honking noises and they love each other but are mean to everyone else sorry that's just how it is in sterek bird land
"Oh, you want to see - yeah, that post on Instagram about them really took off, huh? No - no, it's real, there's lots of examples of homosexual behavior in nature and this is one of them. They've been together for about seven years now? Derek - that's the swan - used to be with another swan, Kate, but she was. She was a real problem. We used to catch her breaking their own eggs and eating them, and she was always bullying Derek when they weren't actually mating, hissing at him and plucking his feathers - he's actually still got a bald spot, but swans mate and sometimes that's it - we couldn't get Derek away from her.
Not until Stiles. He just showed up one day - actually, he showed up trapped in a plastic Target bag and we had to rescue him, and once he saw Derek he imprinted immediately. At first he'd just sort of hanging around, dong his own goose thing and sadly watching Der and Kate gliding around from a distance, but the first time he saw Kate plucking it was on. He went AFTER her - they were fighting all the time, we had to use nets, it was disturbing all the other birds - eventually we decided to catch and collar Kate and have her transferred to a different sanctuary. She was already on thin ice with us, anyway, since she was an egg-breaker.
So it's not like we were going to get cynets from Derek anyway, and when he finally let Stiles get up close and sweet with him, and share his nest - well. We all like Stiles, even if he is an idiot who needs rescuing about once a week. Derek does a lot of the heavy lifting for that, anyway. Like when Stiles got his head caught in a -
Oh, the babies? Uh, let me see . . . That's Erica and that's Isaac - they're the cygnets Stiles lured away from Jackson and Lydia, who are a pair that actually breeds. Boyd is an orphaned gosling Derek brought home.
Yeah, no, it's adorable. We know.
. . . that's a little exaggerated. I mean, I like Wodehouse as much as anyone, but swans do sometimes mind their own business . . . unless you get anywhere near Stiles. Then bets are off. We actually can't have female geese around because Derek gets very jealous and LOUD-'
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@puppyloveandpredators Oh my gosh???
@plumbwolf you have no idea how much bird sanctuary au I've been drawing it's ridiculous
gasp!!!
@puppyloveandpredators . . . what if the sheriff was the head of the human staff.
Chief wildlife officer Stilinski (idk what he'd be called but that sounds official) is the one who found Stiles in the plastic target bag. He's unsure if Stiles was trying to fight the bag or if there was food inside it. He claims to not have a favourite, but none of the other animals in the sanctuary are named after him or get away with so much crime
Melissa McCall brings her rescue dog Scott to work with her. He's not allowed in the bird area, on account of he's a dog, but he does love pressing his whole snoot up against the chain link fence and wagging at them very enthusiastically. If he could melt through the fence terminator 2 style, he would. He likes birds
Most of the birds are afraid of Scott, on account of he is a dog, but not Stiles, on account of he doesn't have any survival instincts. His first meeting with Scott through the fence went kinda like
Stiles: hi. What the fuck are you
Scott: dog. What the fuck are you
Stiles: goose.
Scott: cool
Stiles: cool
Scott and Stiles: SNIFFSNIFFSNIFFSNIFF
Derek: LOUD HISSING IN THE BACKGROUND QUICKLY GETTING CLOSER
(also I couldn't figure out how to give Scott his crooked jaw, so I made him one of those dogs who sits crooked instead)
Jordan Parrish, Tara Graeme and Alan Deaton also work here. Deaton is the vet. Obviously
