🦎 Lizard. 20+. Jaina Solo is my best friend. I write about my OCs (and others) a lot. Mostly Star wars and DC Comics. Returned Missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz
Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.
Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.
My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.
Called the county clerk.
Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.
Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?
Me: Yes, but he's a cat.
Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?
Me: He's a legal cat.
Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.
Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.
Clerk: You can file on his behalf.
Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."
Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."
Me: What's the medical reason?
Clerk: He's a cat.
Me: That's not a medical condition.
Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.
Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.
"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."
Took the letter to my vet.
Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.
Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?
Me: Excellent question. No good answer.
Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.
Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?
Vet: On what grounds?
Me: He's a cat.
Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."
Me: Perfect.
Sent it in. Got another rejection.
"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."
My roommate thought this was hilarious.
Roommate: Felix is going to jail.
Me: This is serious.
Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.
Decided that was actually the only option left.
Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.
Checked in at the courthouse.
Clerk: Name?
Me: Felix Martinez.
Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?
Me: Yes.
Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.
Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.
Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?
Me: I filed three. All rejected.
Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.
Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?
Me: Twice.
Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.
Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.
Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?
Me: You tell me.
Supervisor: This is a data error.
Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.
They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.
Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.
Me: Appreciate it.
Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?
Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.
Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.
For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.
Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.
Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.
Roommate: That's what they all say.
Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.
Fitting end to his legal career.
end id]
feminist retelling shoulsnt be the woman does some girlboss shit femist retelling is she does the same stuff except u actually give a shit abt her perspective and thoughts and feelings as a human being this time
‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs
Schönes prompt-marathon #1, Han/Leia, prompt: Can you hear me?
I'm getting very stuck with my multi-chap works, and I'm not enjoying writing anymore, so I will try to post daily(?) prompt fics that take some of the stress away from the whole process. These are largely un-edited and written mostly in one sitting. This is #1; please give it a read and let me know what you think!
A surprising thing about Leia was that she slept like the dead, once she could be convinced to relax thoroughly enough to actually sleep, instead of simply dozing for a few hours.
Han knew this because, three weeks into this months-long crawl to Bespin, Leia was no longer sitting bolt-upright at the slightest noise, looking like a woman possessed, brown eyes wide and imploring: "what do you need from me?"
Instead, she slept; slept soundly, tranquilly, even – no more was the space between her brows marred by that little pinched line, and gone was the tossing and turning. She slept soundly enough that she needed three alarms to get up each morning – even though getting up wasn't necessary, really, in this strange, starry limbo, limping along to a safe haven.
The nightmares – they were frequent and plentiful, as Leia had warned him they would be – but it seemed to bring her a sort of reassurance that she wouldn't wake up alone, was no longer on a wretched ice planet where the tears would freeze into her eyelashes, was no longer constantly trading barbs with someone she truly cared a lot for – was no longer running from caring for.
Sleep made Leia look younger. By the ship's day-cycle, her eyes alight with purpose, even on something as mundane as playing brain-games with Threepio, her lips pursed and shoulders held into a strong, confident line, she was every bit the military leader and crown princess that she was purpose-made to be. Elbow-deep in the Falcon's innards, or shooting Han flirtatious glances, she was always conveying something, always planning, always moving.
In sleep, without makeup, neck and chest littered in love bites both healing and fresh, she looked – like any other young woman, peacefully asleep after a night spent with her lover.
Han didn't need Leia to be "any other young woman", didn't want her to be "any other young woman" – but he wanted her to have a chance, even if it wasn't planned, even if it was only a few months on this rickety ship in the middle of a war, to be twenty-two, and loved, and in love. She deserved that much.
She deserved a whole lot more. She deserved the galaxy; she deserved everything.
Sleep made Han brave. He blinked blearily and turned his head, burying his forehead in Leia's hair, studying the curve of her cheek and the bow of her lip (which he so wanted to kiss gently), feeling the flutter of her soft breath on his neck. His inhibitions were still lowered, and elsewhere the ship made its usual hourly nighttime air cycle.
He leaned forward and, voice coming out rough, he asked, in barely a whisper, barely even a breath, "Leia? Can you hear me?"
She didn't make a noise, didn't move at all, kept at her even breathing.
"Leia," Han began, resisting the urge to pull her closer, not wanting to disturb her – this sleep she so deserved, this respite she so needed from the horrors of the war.
Sleep made Han brave, so he continued in that barely-breath whisper, "You're the strongest and most impressive person I know." He pulled back a few centims to check that she was still asleep. She was. "And I'm not ready to say it just yet, sweetheart, but I've known it for a long time, and I'll tell you soon, I promise, because you deserve to know it."
A lock of mahogany hair fell into Leia's face as she shifted ever-so-slightly in Han's arms. He tucked it away and murmured to the top of her head, "I love you, sweetheart."
Sighing, Leia made a small noise and continued her untroubled, unencumbered rest.
"G'night, Leia," Han whispered, and shut his eyes again, content with the feel of her skin against his, the small warmth of her pressed against him, the hum of the ship's background noise, the glow inside his chest.
Looking back now that I'm finished, this feels a little cheesy, but the whole point of this is not to think too hard, so I'll post it anyway. Please give your feedback!! -Elia
“What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer; one day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sound of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants brass fronted impudence; your shout of liberty and equality, hallow mockery; your prayers and hyms [sic], your sermons and thanks-givings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are to him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy – a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States, at this very hour.”
— Frederick Douglass (1818-1895), from a speech given at Rochester, New York, July 5, 1852.
Just watched supergirl and oh my god i am so obssed with the fact that we have a female main character and shes sloppy and snippy and rude and an alcoholic and messy and flawed. And yet shes still able to be kind and good and be an inspiration to people. All while not having a romance and while not trying to appeal to anyone. This is what everything should be.
blakekathryn
romaincrisis
janainaart
origamiaround
germansingergirl
2087
