silken mare @llulamoon - Tumblr Blog

#alterhuman #nonhuman #fictionkin #therian #otherkin #objectkin #conceptkin #plantkin #songkin #fictionhearted #objecthearted #otherhearted #mary was here oco

sandersstudies

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

sandersstudies

Pathologizing: Hey sorry I yelled at you. I have this ADHD symptom called RSD that makes me really sensitive.

Humanizing: Hey, I’m sorry that I blew up like that earlier. In the moment I felt really attacked and overwhelmed and I reacted badly, but I know you didn’t mean to offend me with what you said, so that behavior is on me.

queer-asinfuckyou

Because I just saw a post bitching about this one, I want to add: this post is saying that you need to take accountability for the way you hurt other people, even if it happens because of a symptom of your disability/illness. It's also saying that using terms (especially acronyms) that aren't common knowledge isn't a helpful way to explain yourself. It is NOT saying that you need to let people walk all over you because "your disability isn't an excuse."

If you're diabetic, you don't have to eat the honey glazed ham that will send you into a coma (their example). But you also can't yell at the person offering it and accuse them of trying to kill you. You can just say "thanks, but my body can't handle that kind of sugar intake, so I'll pass"

ayin-me-yesh

If you run over someone's foot with your wheelchair you still apologise

sodomit

No, but why is "using terms that aren't common knowledge" something that doesn't humanize you?

I don't disagree that people, in a vacuum, are responsible for their behavior. Although as we all well know, in practice it often isn't your fault you ran over someone's foot with your wheelchair. Wheelchair users are often left no space to just exist, and it translates to other disabilities and disorders too. And one of the reasons why that is, is because the society's default of a human is abled mentally and physically, and most people make no move to model their behavior to accommodate other needs.

I can explain what each symptom is and what it does, if it's unknown. I don't mind. Because I think they have to be known.

They have to be known because they're long term or permanent limitations that need to get worked around by the entire collective. They're not just like situationally feeling bad. And equating them to abstract bad feelings with no name and no clear structural position in your life just places a burden on disordered/disabled people to tolerate being hurt by someone ignorant.

Naming a symptom and explaining what it does is like pointing at a specific painful spot and asking to not be hit there. Meanwhile the social protocol demands that you keep things vague and assign your "overreaction" to just struggling with your temper.

So I am asking again, why is it not sufficiently humanizing to name the disorder you have?

zhenya-grey

I am gonna jump in right here as a wheelchair user that has accidentally ran people over because of lack of space.

I STILL apologize for doing so and say I have no room, even if it isn't my fault. Because I literally just hurt someone. It costs nothing to be nice once in a while.

Anyway y'all can go back to arguing about what's literally a nuanced situation based on tons of variables. Your default position especially to strangers should be to apologize and not be long winded about it.

I have cerebral palsy + additional TBI and aphasia, and will have to ask people to slow down. When you let people know ahead of time that you have some issues, they're more likely to adjust to your needs. I agree it isn't dehumanizing to directly state what is causing my problem (especially since in my case I CAN'T control the fact I struggle to communicate and understand)

When you lash out and THEN say "oh I have x problem that's why I did it" it will come across as an excuse or pathologizing, and that's what OP originally wanted to say.

kettle-bird

Jackass Jenny #5 - Horsin' Around

[Support these comics over on my Ko-Fi!]

gblqhdjh7dvc3nlmebe6bvkafvz5j4

llulamoon

Can't even be pissed off that nobody bothered to tell me that the kittens were being taken to their new home today without being treated like I'm the fucking problem because apparently "we didn't know you were home" is supposed to make me feel better when nobody even fucking bothered trying to send me a text because knocking on my bedroom door that's right next to the front door is too fucking hard I'm sick of being a second thought to everyone at best if I'm not just completely forgotten about or ignored

llulamoon

We live in a fucking trailer and you sit in the goddamn living room all day not even 5 steps away from my fucking door how hard is it to just fucking talk to me for once

llulamoon

can't even push back against the shit she says because "oh I'm just the worst then" you emotionally neglected me my entire life and it's only gotten worse as I've gotten older don't act like you give a fuck about me or how I feel when I don't even remember the last time you've said you love me or god fucking forbid hugged your own child the only thing I do remember is how you've always fucking yelled at me for having emotions

llulamoon

Can't even be pissed off that nobody bothered to tell me that the kittens were being taken to their new home today without being treated like I'm the fucking problem because apparently "we didn't know you were home" is supposed to make me feel better when nobody even fucking bothered trying to send me a text because knocking on my bedroom door that's right next to the front door is too fucking hard I'm sick of being a second thought to everyone at best if I'm not just completely forgotten about or ignored

llulamoon

We live in a fucking trailer and you sit in the goddamn living room all day not even 5 steps away from my fucking door how hard is it to just fucking talk to me for once

Can't even be pissed off that nobody bothered to tell me that the kittens were being taken to their new home today without being treated like I'm the fucking problem because apparently "we didn't know you were home" is supposed to make me feel better when nobody even fucking bothered trying to send me a text because knocking on my bedroom door that's right next to the front door is too fucking hard I'm sick of being a second thought to everyone at best if I'm not just completely forgotten about or ignored

#and to give me the most half-assed “sorry” while you can't even bother to look at me

thisisexorsexism

Binary trans people: [trans historical figure, eg james barry] was a trans man! Nonbinary people: cool! do you have any exaples of nonbinary people in history- Binary trans people: UHHHHHHH AKSHUALLY NON-BINARY IS JUST A CONCEPT, SO NO ONE WAS NONBINARY BEFORE THE 90S. YEAH PEOPLE FROM HISTORY CAN BE TRANS BUT THEY CAN'T BE NONBINARY.

this is exorsexism

abalidoth

putting my hat in the ring for Daphne du Maurier, in a lot of her journal writing she mentions warring masculine and feminine energies that are both part of her

numberlover1729

homoidiotic

Trans activist Jamison Green's passport photos before and after HRT. Left he's age 32 (1980) Right age 41 (1989) after being on testosterone for one year (x)

(read his autobiography here for free)

homoidiotic

updated the link to his autobiography because it was broken! here's some more pictures of him (first is mid 90s, second 2013 and last 2024)

there's an interview with him from 2017 along with some information about his life and activism. and he was interviewed on a podcast here. he's not super well known but has been a really important trans activist for decades

bishopony

when ur a dropout but your friend is a stem major

#my little pony #☆

Some people on here think "get off tumblr" means "never post on social media again and isolate yourself from your community" and not "hey tumblr kinda sucks maybe post somewhere else that isn't run by raging transmisogynists who will ban you at any given opportunity"

#maybe it's because other places aren't as lenient with kink posting idk #but I know a lot of the people who do get banned aren't just kink posters so idk what the issue is with telling your followers you're #moving to a diff platform #might delete later #mary was here oco

kmftm

actually, I do see the value in tma/tme language in transfeminist discourse, they’re very short and useful shorthands.

however.

they’re not being used for discussing the struggles of transfems and trans women. They’re not being used to criticise cisnormativity or the patriarchy. They’re not being used to speak up about transfeminist struggles and causes. They’re being used to identify an in-group and an out-group, and to foster resentment against the out-group, instead of unification and solidarity against our common enemy of transphobia.

more than that, they’re being used to complain and threaten violence against anyone afab. By definition, cis men are tme, however gender-nonconforming they may be. By definition, non-transfem non-binary and gender diverse amab folks are tme. But if you take into account those groups in reading and analysing most tma/tme posts, said posts just don’t make sense anymore. Not only is it an often-unhelpful binary in the same vein as amab/afab, it’s a binary used to cloak complaints against afabs that just wouldn’t sound woke otherwise.

creating or identifying a persecuted in-group and then denying or minimising the struggles of the out-group is textbook radicalisation tactics. Just saying.

thisisexorsexism

sometimes it feels like a binary trans person's transition can be easier. yes they may face problems during their transition by other people, but those problems can be overcome and they eventually can transition. but being nonbinary, it feels like you can't. no matter what you do, you'll never feel like you can be your identity because if you're agender/genderless you feel like you can never be seen or treated as your identity. transitioning is harder because there's nothing that'll make you feel like you, you could take the opposite of your agab, if you're afab you could take testosterone or if you're amab you could take estrogen, but then you'll be "just an egg that hasn't cracked". nonbinariness is always brushed off as something delusional, and if you're not fully the caricature of enben people make, you're not a "true enben". if you have a big chest you're brushed off as "a masculine woman" or something or like a theyfab, if you're amab it's just "a silly identity to make you not a guy". binary trans people have a box they can put themselves into, but nonbinary people don't and feel shame around being/expressing anything anywhere close to their agab.

i know this sounds a little ignorant, i'm not trying to do oppression olympics or anything i'm mostly just talking about internal struggles.

this is exorsexism

ieatsporks11

if a person of color says something is racist than it probably is

if a queer person says something is queer phobic than it probably is

if a disabled person says something is ableist than it probably is

if a jewish person says something is antisemitic than it probably is

if a muslim person says something is islamophobic than it probably is

listen to minorities instead of deciding for yourself what's bigoted

zhenya-grey

People who are assholes online are assholes IRL.

People who are bigots online are bigots IRL.

Never forget that.

"well nobody is really mean like this IRL where I am" because if they were they'd likely get attacked or something so they say it online and work behind the scenes where you don't see it.

You can't "it's just online nobody is actually being hurt by this" your way out of it.

Folks on sites like 4chan and kiwifarms and others who do harm hope you think people only act this way online so they can keep getting away with it.

Friendly reminder that alot of these people can vote and other stuff that systemically tries to control or kill us.

I think even if my ex wasn't controlling nothing would've changed. I'd be less traumatized but I still wouldn't have made any irl friends, I still wouldn't be able to go outside and interact with people without panicking, I'd still spend all day everyday in my room staring at 4 screens at once and taking a minimum of 3 naps.

#taking my 5th nap #I don't talk to any of the people she tried to keep me away from anymore nothing even matters #delete later

succulent-tendril

im so tired i could sleep a horse

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