Lobster Priest

The first crustacean outside of Vatican City to be deemed worthy of Sainthood, as well as the first crustacean to learn how to type on a keyboard. I specialize in horrific Photoshopping, and will complete any and all requests. However, do so at your...

[aethenia]

[aethenia]

I have been informed that this is in fact… one of Them

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

This is the funniest fucking post on this website

[lunasuccor]

I have enough instant ramen packs for breakfast but thats all the food left in my house.

My mother nearly pushed me over the edge and made me do the unthinkable last night by telling me my mental illness and chronic pain like is an inconvenience for her.

Im doing a bit better now after my girlfriend talked me through things and cheered me up but i still dont know where my next meal is coming from, going to try selling some more of my things today but any help anyone could send along would be a huge relief ;-;

I just need a bit of money for some food and enough gas to get to work for a few days before my paycheck on thursday again thank you for everyones generousity in this trying time

[draconym]

Last night on our way home from performing in a play, my housemates and I noticed this sleepy little red bat on a city windowsill.

Today we came back to the theater to perform the Sunday matinee and she was on the ground. :(

I scooped her up in a shirt and put her back on the windowsill (never touch a bat with your bare hands). She was still there after the show so now we are taking her to the wildlife rehabber.

[draconym]

The warmth of the car has woken up the bat and it is now trying to escape containment. Thankfully I am stronger than a bat.

[draconym]

This bat is mad as hell about being in rehab

We think she'll be fine though.

[fatsexybitch]

Of course she's mad you put her ass in the drunk tank

[homunculus-argument]

gotta love how in 2012 Tumblr, all the replies on even slightly weirdly worded posts and replies were like "oh mY GOD what did I just read" and "THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE IS ON DRUGS" and a long series of Superwholock gifs of people flailing and laying face down on the ground and generally overreacting

and in 2022 someone can just calmly post shit like "off I fuck on my weekly journey into the deep murky woods to snort a line of ants off the Woodland Ghoul's dick" and nobody even comments, they'll just quietly nod like yeah mood and reblog that shit.

Maybe a faint little "yeah that's valid" hiddne quietly in the notes.

[zekedms]

It's because all the scandalized people moved to Twitter. It's just us feral ghoulknobbers now with nobody let to stop us.

[oneheadtoanother]

[thespongebobsquarepantsmovie]

[tahthetrickster]

litmus test for tumblr olds

[notwhatiam]

Alex Hirsch and Shion Takeuchi after writing Gravity Falls for Disney where they weren’t allowed to use the word “poopface”:

[inuhito]

[nervoussquidward]

[lobsterpriest]

[boimgfrog]

trans women r literally so cool theu get tits AND a prostate?? i thought only markilpler could do that

[boimgfrog]

i need 2 stop posting after taking my sleep meds jesus christ

[boimgfrog]

hey guys we don't have to rb this post. like we can keep it to ourselves. we can let this post not be rbed.

[iamhope-deactivated20220717]

[boimgfrog]

[heavenbound]

bernie sanders mindless self indulgence bitches edit

[screamio]

[finishingschoolbooks]

How to Ride a Werewolf

Now remember, a lady rides sidesaddle, NOT astride. Your mother would be in hysterics at the very idea that a daughter of hers would ride a werewolf astride! Why, next you’ll be showing ankle…

[were-ralph]

That’s not how you ride a werewolf ill show you how to ride a werewolf !!

[rabdoidal]

please watch this video of real ass complaints alex hirsch got for his work on gravity falls, it is comically bad

[thenatsdorf]

Chatty catty.

[adamsmasher]

She has OPINIONS  and CONVICTIONS but no THOUGHTS

[funnytwittertweets]

[visigoth-476]

Foreign nationals shut the fuck up about American politics challenge

[visigoth-476]

Wrong post lmaooooooo

[anarcho-plumberism-deactivated2]

No I like where this is going please continue

[lew-basnight]

The thing re Weird Al that I think is worth recognizing is illustrated by the Spike Jones Jr quote “One of the things that people don’t realize about Dad’s kind of music is, when you replace a C-sharp with a gunshot, it has to be a C-sharp gunshot or it sounds awful.“ It’s like really good parody has to do it all backwards and in heels, and Weird Al gets in there and counts the syllables and pours over the phrasing and word choices so that it all sounds precisely like the original, and then re-records the song, acknowledging the tiniest details of the recording, and also makes it a highly detailed spoof of an adjacent and absurdly unrelated piece of popular culture. I think really good parody has a love for the source materiel that’s impossible to fake. It takes real musicianship (or craft) to do and it usually gets tossed aside as “novelty” recording.

[icarus-suraki]

You gotta be fuckin’ good if you want to fuck it up.

[radwolf76]

Al will also try to reuse the original music video sets if they’re available, and bring back the same background actors.

[villainous-queer-deactivated202]

I assure you, in the music industry, Weird Al is highly respected. If he makes a parody of your song it’s acknowledged that it means you have ‘made it’ as an artist. Rappers have commented on how ‘scary good’ at rapping he is. His range is right up there with Danny Elfman in terms of how incredibly huge it is. Accordion players have commented that he’s insane on the accordion, and does it while jumping around on stage, I may add. He learns from his mistakes and to top it all off he’s a really kind man (I’ve met him).

[atopfourthwall]

In this house we salute Weird Al.