whomst?

candy // they // someone, somewhere

[minecraft]

[canoncanidae]

[animentality]

[lazarus-lazuli]

i have no comment this is just the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all day

[homunculus-argument]

I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.

The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.

[terriwriting]

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

[copperbadge]

When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.

I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.

After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.

[importantpics]

[superkursunaskr]

[official-keyes]

Got his ass honestly

[theprimememeister]

The Alien

[leidensygdom]

i spent 20 minutes to edit this meme which is great proof of how im feeling rn

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

hearing anything about the nolan odyssey is so funny. it's like "they cut the extremely important and infamous nobody scene" "the cyclops is a giant puppet that they put in an actual historical cave + gave circe animatronics for her pig transformation instead of cgi" "they dumped plastic skeletons in an environmentally protected location they were not supposed to be in" "they recreated ancient greek instruments in order to have an accurate score" "all of odysseus's agency is basically gone" "anne hathaway actually learned how to weave ancient looms" "the women in this movie are treated like shit" "they actually buried actors alive to get those underworld shots" "did you see what the fuck zendaya was fucking wearing holy shit you can't DO THAT, MA'AM" "what do you mean there was a legitimate epic the musical reference" "NOT A SINGLE FUCKING GREEK WAS CAST IN THIS MOVIE"

like did nolan have two guys standing at his side at all times whispering ideas in his ear and one told the truth and the other told lies and they didnt tell him which was which until they wrapped production cause

[homunculus-argument]

I originally meant to make a far more ambituous picture with the same effect, but here's a ball:

The shadows of the lighter texture are the same colour as the lightest parts of the darker texture.

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]

[kaibacorpintern]

in the Egyptian wing of the museum and my boyfriend is like "what are all the time periods of ancient Egypt" and I'm like predynastic, early dynastic, old kingdom which is when the pyramids were built, first intermediate, middle kingdom, second intermediate, new kingdom which includes amarna period and yugioh, third intermediate, and then all the late period stuff and macedonian and roman eras. and he's like run that by me one more time

[ironychan]

TIL astronaut Jack Schmidt discovered he was allergic to moon dust, which is a thing millions of other people have probably gone their whole lives never knowing.

[ironychan]

Imagine being one of only twelve guys ever to have the honour of walking on the moon and then when you get there you're allergic to it.

[sanctferum]

NASA scientist: you’re back early

Jack Schmidt: moon’s an allergen

NASA scientist: ...what?

Jack Schmidt, loading an epipen and climbing back into the shuttle: moon’s an allergen

[kesonafyren]

if one in twelve humans who have been on the moon was allergic to moon dust, that’s either a one-in-a-million chance or a VERY common allergy

[haltraveler]

The fact that it’s such a statistically useless sample is DEFINITELY driving a handful of very specialized scientists absolutely crazy

[squeeful]

oh this one i know! he's not actually allergic and he's not a statistical outlier. all twelve astronauts reported symptoms after stepping on the moon because lunar soil is fucking nasty to human (and presumably most complex life) biology. moon dust is like inhaling asbestos. it's very fine, chemically reactive, and will hang around in your lungs for months, like a shitty inhaled cloud of glass. which, as it's mostly silicon, it kind of is. glass powder that is ripping up your airways and possibly your dna. see again: like asbestos

[adhsea]

[bruzum]

[pumpkinspicebluntwrap]

[tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot]

[disaster-magnet]

Theres currently some crows nesting on the building opposite us, and they still remember that we used to put out bird food years ago (had to stop because of too many neighbour complaints of loud jackdaws in the garden), and have managed to work out that they need a sneaky way to get food without alerting all the other birds.

This has had the consequence of me having to inform my flatmate that if he hears a polite knock at the kitchen window he needs to feed the crows or they WILL start trying to steal our cookbooks.

[disaster-magnet]

I wonder who could have done this. Surely not an innocent lil fella like this one