[fatherjohnmisty]

I WOULD HAVE DONE TONS OF COCAINE WITH YOU, AND KEPT YOU ALIVE FOREVER.

[machinot]

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

[puppygirllaika]

you're telling me i have one task, minimal oversight, no time pressure, and every time i complete my goal I get to take a break while walking back down the mountain, during which time I am free to be myself and enjoy the pleasure of my own company in brief respite from my labor? Damn, i could imagine myself happy...

[notahorseindisguise]

"its a living" <- guy who has a job it hates

"its'a living!' <- dr mario frankenstein

[lesbianshepard]

one of the funnier incidents of me assuming someone knew a meme irl was when a new coworker was talking about some woman who got arrested for tax fraud and I went "God forbid women do anything" and he got scared and thought I was accusing him of being sexist, so he started apologizing and saying how tax fraud isn't even bad, actually.

[ri5k]

the replacement of websites with apps sounds so backwards when you actually describe it. like hmm you have to download an entire program onto your device each time you want access to a portal, where it takes up storage indefinitely. somebody should invent an app where you can "browse" any portal just by typing in its address... 🥴

[into-wonderland-caroline]

[cat-goo]

Fun how the bystander effect was coined to cover up how cops are bigoted cowards who let a queer person die and stockholm syndrome was coined to cover that the cops handled a hostage situation so badly the hostages trusted their captors more than the cops.

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[bitchautism]

hate when I rb a post that i think is just good but it turns out it's vaguing like fifteen other posts and now it looks like I've take a Stance even though I just woke up and haven't even been born yet truly

[urie]

fucking the text man for texts one of society's most influential works

[urie]

just a work of pure art

[racial]

[herbythelovenug]

[korraavaatu]

[toastyglow]

headstrong and foolhardy medieval king: never shall I bend the knee!!!

physical therapist: okay well if you keep lifting with your back you are just going to get hurt again your majesty

[sodomit]

I was looking for photos of one physical condition that happens to penises and came across this photoset.

[karnalesbian]

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

[fairycosmos]

[bumblebeebats]

This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....

[evilwizard]

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

[evilwizard]

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

[evilwizard]

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?