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Just some asexual rocket engineer.

[1o9]

[2oxo]

[anxietyproblem]

[viralthings]

We asked the waiter to take a photo of us at dinner

[spoon-crossing]

Tommy neglected to inform me about the body

[whitepeopletwitter]

[callmedaddy-42]

[phantomrose96]

Well oneof you is lying

[nerdeas]

Panini man

[striving-artist]

This kid learned about Prohibition and I’m so proud.

When they made the sale of alcohol illegal, bars would charge exorbitant fees for pretzels and then throw in a drink for free. 

[quasarkisses]

shoutout to my late grandfather who made wine and his basement and told everyone “I’ll sell you the bottle and give you the wine for free”

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

best posts of the decade

message to de west: get sillay

message to all bitches: please survive (source: CNN)

gotitforcheap no powerade in america (more of a bit than a specific post tbh)

markiplier vs. LA gangs

homestuck sharpie bathtub

i want to study at a british university

say hello to mechanically separated chicken

blogger ryan nosdrinker gives a lesson on how to blog

ron paul funeral city (any post)

jory’s three weed smorking girlfriends

mikey what do I do

ray sipe thanos car

john green cock

slurp on my gurt

they’re talking about fucking KISS?

trajan you fat fucking wop respond

khaled khum

grimelords WoW den death coverup

they got bitches in museums? alive bitches?

tom oatmeal dog baby pottery wheel

juice in my mouse

i just got high right in front of my momthers eyes

they are going this drink after me when i die: the horsepussy

high key banging the history professor WITH papa smoke

worst

“the men of tumblr” fedora post

sixpenceee heals

miss officer and mr. truffles

do you love the color of the sky

dashcon, specifically the $20k ask

randy your sticks

moreos

a post that a dear friend of mine has asked me to let be forgotten

the first cybersmith post to introduce the human pet concept

the god damn fish blog saying fuck

me and my blind cat - surprise, OP is a necrophiliac

anything to do with bones

you’re my pockets daddy

that hamilton hiv cannibal mermaid fanfic thing

high key banging the history professor WITHOUT papa smoke

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

updated with links. thank you

[aceofsquiddles]

I was thinking about how ‘Grinch’ and ‘Scrooge’ are words for people who hate Christmas but aren’t exact synonyms and then this chart happened.

[somecutething]

[woodelf68]

Oh? It’s naptime? Okay.

[thebroccoligoblin]

IMPORTANT

[arahir]

use comic sans to write

i hate this so much but this knowledge is too powerful to keep from you all.

last night @phaltu discovered that setting your font to comic sans in google docs improves writing speed and creativity by an insane amount. “no” i said and “die” but then i tried it and god. i wish it wasn’t this way. i wish it wasn’t true. i wish i could protect you all from this but it’s real. 

something about this font is so disarming. something about this font lets you look past the shape of the words and into their soul. i’ve never written so much as i did last night, on my phone, at 2am, in comic sans.

if you have writer’s block. if you lack inspiration. if you need this. don’t be afraid to use it. sometimes the things we find most horrifying are also the things we need the most. trust me. let comic sans into your life.

[arahir]

it’s true

[serainechor]

update: this actually works. i’m so angry.

[5-5-k]

my friend told me about this and I laughingly suggested it to my wife (who had a good number of essays to write and less than a week to write them). She finished 3 essays in 2 days using comic sans.

She was livid.

[fiightingdreamers]

guys we need to talk about meth tumblr, what the hell is going on there

[fiightingdreamers]

[neenarchive]

i hate when right wing voters will call you a sore loser after a big election like politics is all a big fun sports game and not literally life and death for a lot of people

[kerryrenaissance]

They’re acting like it’s high school politics, which can be a popularity contest and will probably not change much for anyone. Instead of something with real life consequences for millions.

[destinyguardians]

Truth: time to cut off this kid’s leg to teach him a lesson I guess

Ed, an 8 year old child, not a moment later, kicking down The Gate to wrestle the soul of his brother back from Literal God with his bare fists and sheer rage:

Truth: What In The Absolute Fuck Kid

[valtsv]

ratatouille went so hard and it didn’t even have to

[valtsv]

this is a kid’s movie about a rat who wants to be a chef and i feel like i’ve just been flayed bald

[bugcore-moved-deactivated201902]

Never forget this iconic speech

[wetorturedsomefolks]

*hits the blunt* yugioh was propaganda because the season they opened the anime with in the US started by making you pity yugi for losing his exodia cards in like, the second episode i think it was. basically this fuck has a huge unfair advantage over everyone else in the world and is planning to use it to win a cash tournament. but you’re supposed to feel bad for him when he loses that advantage and ends up on an even playing field because the cards are “his property”. exodia is capital and yugi moto is the bourgeoisie

[wetorturedsomefolks]

and kids are meant to think “wow id hate it if i had exodia and i lost it. i could have exodia someday so for some reason i empathize with that situation” it’s literally capital

[myselfie]

Luke ur literally misreading this entire fucking thing cuz kaiba is literally a fucking CEO and he’s the villain. this show is anticapitalist…yugi losing the exodia cards is actually about how the proletariat loses the true value of their labor under the surplus theory of value

[marxism-leninism-utenaism]

ok listen up though yugi literally gets possessed by the spirit of a pharaoh and inherited the exodia cards from his grandfather they are clearly a metaphor for the divine right of kings under feudalism and weevil is the bourgeois revolutionaries overthrowing feudalism. only joey wheeler, the true hero of the proletariat, can

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Vampire meme: "Existential Crisis Meal" and it's just weird shit a vampire eats when theyre awake alone at 2PM and suddenly get overcome with the desire to eat some kind of food they used to like but actually getting it is pointless bc it'll be gross to them so they just throw anything similar they have access to together and eat it anyway while they have a mild panic attack

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Your vampire friend texting you at 1 in the afternoon:

God......please help me...I can't stop watching niche furniture restoration videos on YouTube and eating these

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Th same vampire friend 30 minutes later:

THE YOUTUBE FURNITURE MEN HAVE MY OLD ARMOIRE!!!!!!!