pig.

They/them ° late 20s ° Punk rock ° ferrets ° tamagotchi ° I make stuff here --> PigbeetleBoutique.tumblr.com ° You ain't from michigan if you've never done this before

[mouse-doubleo100]

‘there’s no platonic explanation for this’

buddy you wouldn’t believe what kind of platonic explanations im capable of

[homunculus-argument]

Once again randomly remembered this story about a couple who had a small parrot - pretty sure it was a budgie - who didn't talk but learned to communicate with people in its own way. Once it figured out that people always turn to check their phones when the notification sound comes on, it started making the text message notification sound to request human attention. The parrot also liked to follow people to the door whenever guests were leaving, and would use its wings to pantomime the motions of a person putting their coat on. A very clever, charming bird.

And every once in a while it just randomly hated some people. Not for any real reason, or even reason to suspect bad vibes, but by deciding "fuck this person in particular" for shits and giggles alone. And one time when the owners had invited a new friend to their home, the bird decided that it Did Not Like Her.

So in the middle of polite conversation, the bird - who was free to roam around the apartment at the time - hopped onto the living room coffee table, right in front of the unwanted guest. And in that moment, the owners put two and two together and understood that whatever mischief the bird had decided to do, it was now too late to stop it.

But instead of unleashing the absolute hell that even the tiniest displeased parrot could be capable of, the little budgie made its little "may I have your attention please" cell phone notification sound, and once the guest was focused on the bird, looked at her dead in the eye while doing the putting-my-coat-on wing motion.

The guest did not recognise the pantomime for what it was, but she was nonetheless delighted that the parrot would do a little wing-roll dance for her. And the host couple were at first too stunned and then too polite to tell her how impressive that gesture truly was. Their bird had shown both remarkable restraint and cleverness by using its entire vocabulary of human communication just to say

"I have an important announcement: I think you should leave."

[7777777awawawa7777777]

the point of art is not to be great but to make it transparently obvious that there is something wrong with you

[hylianengineer]

The point of art is to let other people know that the thing wrong with them is also wrong with you

[sarnakhwritesthings]

This is in fact how you make friends

[whoreapologist]

i love abortion and i love divorce

[red-twist]

i pop some pills and i ride my horse

[tuckerrule]

i log onto tumblr and i start discourse

[faggybutch161]

eyyyy macarena

[fangcore]

this has the strongest 2014 tumblr vibe i’ve seen in a while, can’t believe this post is 5 days old

[adorablecake]

THIS POST IS FIVE DAYS OLD???? I THOUGHT IT WAS AT LEAST 2 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!

[whoreapologist]

happy 9 day anniversary to this post 💖

[heritage-post]

date of origin: April 18, 2021

[gayteensupreme]

#it even has a deactivated blog

Look at that subtle off-kilter humour… the tasteful length of the reblog chain… oh my god, it even has a deactivated blog

[sunfortune]

real

[mousidy]

Once you exit the womb, you can use the left stick to walk around and explore your surroundings. You can press A to jump, allowing you to access higher places. Try jumping onto the doctor's cabinets

[shaonicwhite]

i think we should all consider getting emotional over this xkcd. as a group. let's get emotional about it

[musiclovingmoth]

i like that we all think about a rock's journey so often no matter our education on the subject

[threadednovelist-deactivated202]

SINCE WHEN CAN BOTS CREATE POLLS??? EXCUSE ME?? ALSO WHAT ARE THESE OPTIONS?

[dinner-rol]

[keylethwasleft]

things to say to bugs when science finally unlocks the secrets of human-bug communication:

im not hurting you i am taking you to a safe place

do you eat weird crumbs cause i found some im willing to share

you can bite me if you want but id rather be no-bite friends

i like your big colorful eyes, very stylish

please dont crawl into my sleeves

(sings a duet with a cricket)

[tiktoksformyfriends]

[video by soupygarbagejuice. original caption: stuie]

[bitemeilovewaffles]

"I guess I would scream too if I knew a God could hear me" is too much of a raw line to come from a tik tok about a cat

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

vibes tbh

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

#the shitpost calligrapher is still alive??#tbh I thought they deactivated a while ago

WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM DEAD IM JUST ON HOLIDAY I *HAVE* INTERNET!!!

[kittydesade]

Sometimes I can still hear them post…

[everetterice]

[hellolovelyscientist]

“In one of the most notable moments in sports history, Kenyan runner Abel Mutai was just a few feet from the finish line, but became confused with the signage and stopped thinking he had completed the race.

 A Spanish athlete, Ivan Fernandez, was right behind him, and after realizing what was happening, he started shouting at the Kenyan for him to continue running; but Mutai didn't understand his Spanish. Fernandez eventually caught up to him and instead of passing him, he pushed him to victory.

A journalist asked Ivan, "Why did you do that?"

Ivan replied, “My dream is that someday we can have a kind of community life where we push and help each other to win.”

The journalist insisted “But why did you let the Kenyan win?" Ivan replied, "I didn't let him win, he was going to win.” The journalist insisted again, “But you could have won!”

Ivan looked at him & replied, “But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honor of that medal? What would my Mom think of that?” Values are transmitted from generation to generation. What values are we teaching our children? Let us not teach our kids the wrong ways to WIN.”

[bunjywunjy]

are all animals dangerous?

every animal has the potential to be dangerous under certain circumstances. for instance, a dog could bite you, a moth could distract a UPS driver into plowing through your living room window, you could inhale and choke on an earthworm.

[snickeringsnicket]

did lemony snicket write this

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

people say that the Spaniel is a gentle breed of dog. and yet, when accelerated out of this railgun at 2,500 m/s directly towards this group of orphans,

[dayquil-driver]

so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

[dayquil-driver]

reblog if i can wander into your apartment (blog) and make myself lunch (like and reblog as if it's my dash)

[oluransom-deactivated20201026]

you’re laughing. i told you a joke and you’re laughing. i love you

[pelicanhypeman]

i’m fucking dying. it’s been brought to ben collins (the rad new owner of the onion’s) attention that Google AI summary is using The Onion headlines, resulting in this:

[southpauz]

RIP KABOSU THE DOGE MEME DOG

[pussyronin-deactivated20260120]

if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart