what if Kevin read Chuck's Winchester Gospels and continued writing them in season 8 complete with sarcastic angry commentary
“We need you,” Dean choked out through the blood that still somehow didn’t manage to make him look unattractive. “I need you.”
He didn’t say, “I have a giant raging hard-on for you unrivaled by any hard-on I’ve had since I first saw Han Solo, and I love you, and I wanna put my mouth on your mouth,” because he is an idiot of epic proportions. You should all be used to this by now.
Naturally, angels can read minds, even though that’s been thoroughly ret-conned by this point, and the strength of Dean’s mental boner immediately broke through the mind control in a trope right out of a bad B-movie. Cas cast his angel blade aside (heh), lovingly touched Dean’s face, and healed all that blood even though Dean was inexplicably still hot with one eye swollen shut anyway.
Fuckin’ Winchesters. Sam’s stupid hair, Dean’s stupid face, nothing ever makes these guys look genuinely unappealing and it’s not fair.
So then Dean was all, “What broke the connection?” and Cas said, “I don’t know.”
Because Cas is a big fat liar douche. He should have said, “The same thing that saves the day every time: MY BIG GAY LOVE FOR YOU, DEAN. OBVIOUSLY. HOW MANY MORE YEARS DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS?”
But Cas is as big of a chickenshit as Dean, so he fucked right off with the angel tablet so he didn’t have to look deeply into Dean’s stupidly green eyes anymore, because it was giving him feelings in his pants.
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