Wor*l*ds

I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotion. ~ James Michener

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Open Sky Stories: 9ish month update

Open Sky Stories: 9ish month update

I’ve been meaning to write a post with an update on what I’ve been up to with my business, Open Sky Stories. This morning I did, what was supposed to be a quick video update for my Instagram page and before long, it was over 13 minutes! Needless to say, I have a LOT happening and it is all so very, very exciting!

For your…

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Creating, coffee and coping.

Oh hey, remember me?

How’s it going?

Everyone coping okay through these strange times?

I’m at home with the kids and Lucy (our cat) and feel quite grateful for what I have and where I am in life.

I get to take time to savour my morning coffee every single morning. I’ve been reading – a lot!And cooking and baking and walking and writing. I got back into running after a year of poor…

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Chapter 1: Begin

I am totally neglecting my Team Adventurers blog these days – sorry!!

But it’s for a very good reason – I am spending every inch of my free time creating and developing my new business, Open Sky Stories.

Here’s a glimpse of what it is and how it came to be. (Spoiler: Team Adventurers is at the very heart of it)

From writing…

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Open Sky Stories

friends. I am so excited to finally share a project that I’ve been working on for about a year. I’m launching my business, Open Sky Stories in January. As you know, I love writing. I write every single day. Writing has carried me through the darkest of times and has been a companion on many a joyous adventure. As Joan Didion said, “I don’t know what I think until I write it down.”

My goal is…

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Pause. Breathe. Play.

For the past 11 months, two things have been occurring simultaneously for me: I have been experiencing chronic (non-life threatening) health issues and I have been building a business.

Mostly, they are completely unrelated. But also, they are deeply intertwined.

I’m not really a patient person. I want instant gratification. I like action. I hate feeling lazy.

Constantly feeling unwell is…

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Thanks, Peterborough.

Four years ago today, #TeamAdventurers arrived in Peterborough.

I had sold our house, quit my job (of 13 years) and moved us to a city I had only been to once before (when I signed our rental agreement).

I had no job lined up and we had no friends; just an urgency for change and a strong faith that things would work out. It was, by far, the most reckless thing I have ever done.

Almost…

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four breaths in....

four breaths in….

As i sit at my writing desk to do just that, it becomes tragically clear: i can’t.

Day after day, i sit while my ink turns dry as my mouth in unanswered anticipation.

My mind is full of urgency and it sends a million ideas racing under my skin desperate to be seen but they flood and drown and come out in a slow, death drizzle.

These ghosts of unfinished ideas linger in the air, offering…

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done

I’ve done forty-three years on this earth. in this body. in this mind. in this ill-fitting skin.

And I have found joy in every corner, crevice and conviction.

But there are some days, ways and power-plays for which I am done.

And so today I breathe into my too-tight, not-quite-right skin free to walk this earth another year completely and joyfully done.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=…

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Happy Anniversary

I’m reposting (below) an article I wrote for Stigma Fighters about the initial 24 hours (ish) following the death of my ex-partner/father of my kids.

Today is the 5th anniversary of his death and no matter how hard I try to ignore it – I can’t. It physically seeps into my entire being.

Also, his deathiversary falls on mental health awareness week and everywhere I look there’s mention of mental…

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Building something good takes (an annoying amount of) time

Building something good takes (an annoying amount of) time

Allow me to preface this by saying I hate vague & cryptic social media posts…

*ahem..

💫💫💫

I’m building something. It’s not exactly a business… business sounds too corporate. It’s more of a passion project… though passion project sounds too optional. Whatever it is, it’s both breeding from and feeding my soul.

💫💫💫

Trust me, I wish I could be less vague. I want to push this out as quickly as…

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Collapsed.

Collapsed: The opposite of pushing through isn't giving up, it's rest

Lucy and I had a heart-to-heart the other day.

“Well Goose, this is one of the last days with just the two of us hanging out while the kids at school. Our quiet snuggling days are coming to an end.”

She stared straight ahead in repudiation, but her ear twitched so I knew she heard me. Oh, Lucy.

Backstory:

One Sunday afternoon in November, I was lying on my bed with my hand on my chest…

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This is my story.

This is my story.

This summer, as part of my Stories from the Field course in the Expressive Arts program at Haliburton School of Art and Design; I created this character, found her voice and wrote her story.

  xo, e

Twitter: @pixiepaperdoll7 Instagram: @pixiepaperdoll #TeamAdventurers

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I am so pleased to volunteer with Nourish Project with their Belonging Cookbook.  We are collecting recipes from our community members … but not just any recipes.. recipes for belonging.

We believe food has the power to transform our everyday lives and bring communities together.

Is there a meal or a dish that brings you back to your childhood? What recipe do you make for every get-together? When you open space at your table, what do you like to serve?

For me, the answer is pancakes… and here’s why.

Sunday Morning Pancakes Erica Richmond

For Erica, having a kitchen table overflowing with chairs, food and laughter is a happy normal.

“I’ve become a massive homebody. Our lives can be pretty chaotic, and I find incredible comfort in the stability of being home. But I also crave the connection of being with people. Having friends and family come share a meal with us satisfies so much of my soul.”

She submitted a recipe for pancakes that have become a Sunday morning family tradition. Her own kids have always enjoyed weekend pancakes and the tradition has deepened as her family has grown. She even made pancakes on their campsite this summer; under a tarp in the rain, one slow pancake at a time.

“We have a very unorthodox blended family and I feel so grateful for the abundance of love that holds us together.”

In fact when asked for the secret ingredient in her pancake recipe, her answer was just that: abundance.

“It’s such an easy recipe to double, triple or even quadruple with ingredients I always have on hand.” This is an important feature in a recipe because you never know who might turn up on the doorstep, and for Erica opening space at her table means opening space in her heart.

There is nothing fancy about this recipe.

“I used to obsess with making perfect pancakes and would long to have the skills to create Pinterest-worthy creations.” She laughed. “But in reality, aside from the occasional interpretative heart-shape, they are generally pretty misshaped blobs.” Not to worry, this just adds to the conversation around the table, assuming anyone takes time to really look at them before they are devoured.

Although her and the kids have experimented with fun flavour combos (white chocolate chips and raspberries, dark chocolate and banana), she typically makes the first ¾ plain and then adds frozen blueberries to the last portion for her and her partner.

Her advice for having friends over for a meal:

“Don’t wait until you’ve planned a fancy meal or have cleaned your house to perfection. A couple of ingredients is all you need for a stack of pancakes. Add a French press (or two) of good coffee and maybe a side of bacon and your table, and heart, will be truly full.”

Featherweight Pancakes taken from: The Clueless Vegetarian by Evelyn Raab

1 cup flour

2 tbsp. sugar

2 tbsp. baking powder (if you’re making double/triple batches each week like me, I’d suggest buying baking powder in bulk)

1 cup milk

1 egg

2 tbsp. vegetable oil (I will often use coconut oil), plus more for the pan

Sometimes I add a splash of vanilla

Directions:

In a medium bowl, combine flour, sugar and baking powder.

In a small bowl, whisk together the milk, egg and oil. Add milk mixture to the flour mixture and whisk until smooth.

Pour a small amount of oil into a large frying pan or griddle, spread it around to thinly coat the pan and place over medium heat.

With a spoon or ladle, pour the batter, ¼ cup at a time, gently spreading it out to a flat, even circle. (or haphazard heart shape)

Cook the pancake on one side until bubbles begin to appear on the top and the bottom is golden brown.

With a spatula, flip the pancake over and let the other side cook until it’s golden.

Remove to plate and repeat until all the batter is used. (or transfer on a baking dish and keep in 200* oven until all pancakes are cooked)

1 batch makes approx. twelve 4-inch pancakes. (but who’s measuring?)

Optional add-ins (alone or in combination):

Frozen berries (our go-to is blueberries but I also like raspberries) *Warning: adding frozen blueberries to the batter will turn everything a blueish-purple hue – think Gonzo coloured blobs.

Mashed up bananas

Chocolate chips

White chocolate chips

  If you live in Peterborough and would like to submit a recipe, contact Nourish today!

Click here for my story on their blog.

Twitter: @pixiepaperdoll7 Instagram: @pixiepaperdoll #TeamAdventurers

    Sunday morning pancakes; Belonging Cookbook I am so pleased to volunteer with Nourish Project with their Belonging Cookbook.  We are collecting recipes from our community members ...

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I'm Aware.

I’m Aware.

It’s Suicide Awareness Month and let me tell you, I’m aware.

I understand the benefit and importance of such months but sometimes I just want to say ‘go fuck yourself, September.’

In part because much of what I see on the internet, indicates that if we were to just listen more, then we can save the people we love.

Let me tell you, I listened. For the first two decades of my adult life, I…

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a month without milk

a month without milk

They’re back.

After 13 days (and 13 nights) my kids are home from their grandparent’s camp.

They left the day after we returned from a 2 week family camping trip (see previous post) and so needless to say, the last month has been completely out of the ordinary.

Look, I have more experience than the average mom at being without my kids. I did the every other weekend thing for 6 years. I have…

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Settling In

For 14 days and 14 nights, this was my view. Trees. A scrape of sky.  Firepit flames.

I shared a tent with my two kids, within arms reach of the tent my partner shared with his son, and for 14 days and 14 nights I barely spoke to another person. (Red squirrels, chipmunks and fungus not included.)

I’m not going to lie. The first couple days were tough. For me, mostly. I had packed a hangover of…

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Treading Water, without a care in the world. Sun warming my face, waves lapping at my shoulders creating rhythm through my body. Arms and legs building strength moving in simultaneous determination. Looking straight ahead knowing full-well there will not be a lifeboat to find me. Treading water in perfect rhythm  with no intention of stopping. ~e

Here I am. After months of pseudo surviving under icy water, I push myself up through the surface and take a deep breath of fresh air.

It’s the summer of 2009.

We are living in the ghetto of Burlington, Ontario (assuming Burlington has a ghetto) in a bug-infested townhouse that will someday bring back fond memories for Rain and Moxie (and maybe even me). I’ve been their sole caregiver for the past 9 months and it has taken me that time to move through my hypothermic shock and find my way to warmer waters.

And wow – is it warm!!

We have no air conditioning, just a Motley Crue of garage sale fans sporadically placed battling a ‘smokin in the boys room’ kinda heat wave.

But just like those fans, we’re finding our rhythm.

My days include driving the kids 20 minutes northwest to their babysitter in Waterdown then communing 50 minutes east to my Mississauga office. I work through each and every lunch break so I can leave early and get back to the west-end babysitter before she plops them at the end of her driveway at 5:15 sharp!

We’re doing it. But it’s hot and itchy and pretty damn uncomfortable. With my head now above sea-level, I search for solutions.

I decide to splurge on a Hamilton Conservation Authority park pass. At least 3 days/week, I add a bit of extra time to my morning routine so I can pack up our evening’s dinner. At 5:15 (sharp!) I drive us just a bit further west until we cross the finish line at Christie Lake Conservation Area.

And for the next hour we do nothing but run on the beach and splash in the water, pausing only briefly to nibble on sandwiches and veggies. Except for that one time when the seagulls beat us to them. (By the way if you ever want to scare away seagulls, try high pitched shrieks of laughter!)

We return to our hot and buggy home feeling calmer, cooler and somewhat more collected. We march like ants, one-by-one, up the stairs and they jump their sand encrusted bodies into the tub. We sing:

“This is the way we wash our ___ ” pause for one of them to insert a body part to wash “__when we have a bath.”

Clean and jammie-clad, they snuggle into their bed for a collection of stories and our favourite, somewhat adapted Raffi bedtime song,

“All bound for morning town, many miles away.”

xo,

e

Twitter: @pixiepaperdoll7 Instagram: @pixiepaperdoll #TeamAdventurers

  Epilogue: Written as part of my Creating Memoirs course. The middle of my life story (so far).

Treading Water (2009) Treading Water, without a care in the world. Sun warming my face, waves lapping at my shoulders…