“‘Toxic Abomination,’ was it? Hello. Please have a seat.”
The lesser Phyrexian looked around the putrid swamp for a chair. Seeing none, it collapsed into the muddy water before its praetor.
“Let’s begin your evaluation.” Sheoldred’s serpentine body coiled slowly around the grunt as she studied the surprisingly mundane clipboard in her hands. “It says here, you waited hundreds of years for Phyrexia’s return, only needing reactivation upon our arrival. Quite some loyalty, that. Also, you were once…renowned for your abnormal strength?”
Toxic Abomination nodded eagerly, bobbing its armless torso instead of a head.
“…Unfortunately, however, this strength is no longer so exceptional.”
Toxic Abomination startled at this statement.
“Yes. I’m afraid such power as yours is no longer even passable. Quite below average, in fact.”
Toxic Abomination began to rise from the muck, only for Sheoldred to make a placating gesture with her upper body.
“Please, no need to get angry. You were inactive for quite some time, now. It’s only natural to react to such news with anger. But a Phyrexian like you should conduct yourself properly.”
Defeated, Toxic Abomination collapsed back into the mud. Sheoldred watched passively as the fight left it.
“Worry not. Unlike the incompleat, we look after our own. I’m sure we could find work of some kind for you, given your service record.”
Toxic Abomination’s body angled hopefully upward. That was, until it heard Sheoldred’s suggestion, read aloud from her clipboard:
“Yes, I believe ‘chump blocker’ would be a perfect lateral position for you! If you’re interested, please speak with my assistant on your way out.”
Toxic Abomination suddenly rose and stomped out of the brackish water. During its egress, it saw a human woman with a glowing red eye standing on the shore.
“Hello. My name is Rona. I heard you might be interested in a-”
Toxic Abomination continued its indignant departure. Behind it, Rona and Sheoldred shared sly smirks.
[Poor Toxic Abomination. You woulda been a monster back in the day!]
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