Miss Alyss

feminist at ohio university with a dual major in sass and fucking everything up. my tweets are quality

[bob-belcher]

[endmyreign]

[lucentgallivanter]

me: i love you but please, please do not step on my keyboard. go a foot out of your way and go around

my lovable yet ungrateful cat, a troublegirl and a fiend: you could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature 

[davey-strides]

fuckin raw line

[norwayspruce]

yeah it is but all but one major river system in the US is undammed. the rest are in fact diverted

[dankmemeuniversity]

[femmmedarling]

Can someone tell me how to help LGBTQ people in Brunei without just telling me to boycott luxury hotels I already don’t go to??

[piecesolvingapuzzle-deactivated]

Boycott Shell.

[piecesolvingapuzzle-deactivated]

Boycott Shell

[piecesolvingapuzzle-deactivated]

Boycott Shell. Idgaf if this is boring quit scrolling and rb

[strangegiraffesystem]

Brunei pretty much completely relies on import/export to function. Oil is pretty much the only thing they produce.

What I’m saying y'all who can should urge your politicians/representatives to stop trade with Brunei on grounds of human rights violations and send them a message they can’t ignore.

In addition you can help on the ground level by supporting Rainbow Railroad a charity that helps lgbtq+ people escape persecution: https://www.rainbowrailroad.com/

[warmheartworm]

[tindershwinder]

I challenge you up

[anonymoustypewriter]

Fuck he did it tho

[agentmisfire]

He spent almost 2 hours coming up with that, honestly the dedication

[marvelsmostwanted]

straight guy: *only owns cargo shorts, graphic tees, and crocs*

tan: *sighs* in this essay i will

[brennatwohy]

Swallowtail, by Brenna Twohy

[sexhaver]

someone on r/legaladvice was sick of their coworker stealing their food out of the fridge so they started labeling it “POISON - DO NOT EAT” in sharpie on both the bag and the food’s wrapper every day and the person still kept stealing it so after a week they added a bunch of laxatives to their food and the thief had to go to the hospital and could possibly sue OP. the general consensus was that OP was technically objectively in the wrong from a legal standpoint but there is 0% chance of them being convicted in criminal court because that would require finding 12 jurors who would rule in favor of someone stealing food labeled “POISON - DO NOT EAT” and then getting poisoned

[blackgirlsvevo]

me, violently beating back my emotions with a broom: for the last time i said shut the FUCK up

[thefilmfatale]

[zerostigma]

I just remembered how hilarious it was to watch this shit on national television.

[perissologist]

remember when we thought THIS was wild

[pussylipgloss]

depression meal: standing in the kitchen for 15 minutes debating if i have the energy to cook then leaving after eating raw bread

[anxietyproblem]

If you can relate to any of these posts, follow us @anxietyproblem​

[prokopetz]

Trainability in cats is a funny thing.

My cats understand and will obey a number of verbal commands, one of which is “go away”. I don’t use it often, but if they’re bugging me and I’m trying to work or doing something that could be dangerous for cats, I can tell them to go away, and off they go - they’ll only keep pestering me if there’s a serious problem they need me to look at.

That said, their idea of a serious problem that requires my attention is somewhat eccentric. Previous instances have included:

There was an unfamiliar car parked across the street

Their water bowl was four inches to the left of its usual position

One of them had puked on the stairs and they didn’t want to walk past it

It was raining

One of them saw a weird bug

[hollowedskin]

These are all very important things that required your attention. They’re doing a good job.

[blenderweaselhasopinions]

Dogs really aren’t much better.  I teach all my dogs the command “show me”.  How it works is if the dog needs something but I’m having trouble understanding what exactly they’re trying to tell me, I say “show me” and they lead me to whatever the problem is.  Usually they lead me to a real problem (like a toy that got stuck under the couch, their water bowl is empty, etc).  But sometimes they want me to fix things like this-

They pulled the covers off my bed and now they want me to put the covers back

They put their ball on top of the ottoman but the ottoman won’t throw it for them

The cat is sleeping and won’t chase them

A flower fell off the potted plant

The cat is sitting in a box and they don’t like it

One of them lost their bandana

The cat won’t take the toy they’re trying to give her

The cat DID take the toy they gave her and now they want it back

[whitepeopletwitter]

She has a point

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

There are two situations in which I make extremely sure I’m going precisely at or below the speed limit:

I see a cop

Some asshole is tailgating me

[firebirdeternal]

This is both spiteful AND practical, because you can’t control whether or not they give you a safe following distance for the speed you’re travelling, but you CAN reduce the speed you both have to travel, having the triple benefit of  A) increasing the likelihood that they’ll have enough time to stop without rear-ending you.  B) lowering the speed of any possible collision and thus the severity and  C) Pissing the fucker the fuck off.

[slowdissolve]

I feel so valid now

[scooplery]

Im drunk in a uber and just gazed upon two dudes in a dunkin donuts having an arm wrestling match

[kuttithevangu]

This is how they decide the mayor of Boston

[vivalatinamerica-deactivated201]

can someone please explain how it’s possible that every single month this year ended as quickly as it started and yet this whole year has felt like an eternity

[cmonandhauntme]