idk idk idk

I am over 30 and bipolar and write things and am terrified of people, yaaaaay. (cis white ace usa she/her)

[sexygrammaticalerrors]

[pettycentral]

[mostlymadbrewing]

I forget there’s a punchline every time. Absolutely delighted.

[tomfoolerytotality]

Looking back on 2020, I think it's hilarious that Wellerman of all shanties is the one that blew up online. It's not a song about life on the high seas or adventuring

It's the "Where the fuck is my delivery" song

[stevishabitat]

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

this psychic for the rest of his life all because he tried to hit on some dead guy's wife in an elevator

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Ghost Dad: WE LITERALLY CHANGED OUR VOWS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T LIKE "TILL DEATH DO US PART"

Psychic: he says you need a real man. a tangible one. a man visible to the average eye.

[thequeeninyellowlace]

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

[luchia13]

I'm getting an alcohol sever permit for a state I don't even live in so someone can legally hand out cans of beer to relatives in a city park

BUUUUTTTTTT I wanna show up and know how to make a couple cocktails since I can legally do that, so any suggestions for good easy cocktails to learn to make for hot days? (No gin or tequila since we have allergies to those.)

[a-very-cute-snake]

[newporters]

everyone always talks about pop culture but what about jump culture. and what if you combined them...?

[vhen-harel]

[tilthat]

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

[beggars-opera]

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

[ti-bae-rius]

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

[ti-bae-rius]

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

“why are you, as someone in their 30s, still on tumblr” oh so you think you’re gonna be normal when you’re my age? you think you’re gonna be CURED?? you think the witches’ curse will have been lifted by then?? cmon now

[youvsyou]

I was here first why should I have to leave

[nextlevelsmp3]

[imathers]

[boltlightning]

For a brief moment, Norrington breaks into a wide, boyish smile. His military bearing reasserts itself, but only just. ➢ PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL (2003) // accepting the proposal

[a-driftamongopenstars]

the horror of being "god's favourite princess". literally one of my favourite horror themes. the god loves you and it's so scary.

it will always choose you. you cannot die. you'll always come back because it loves you so much. you are its right and left hand, its eternal weapon. it will drown you in its light. light as horror. darkness as horror. what if it thinks you are its best friend.

you are god's favourite princess and it's terrifying.

[fruitviking]

Some internet language things I really like:

Phrases like “that’s certainly a thing”, “it’s so shaped”, or “one of the most animals” (is there a name for this?)

when people write with little to no punctuation like they are just so done

More specifically, asking questions without punctuation i.e. ‘what’ or ‘why’. It’s like, you want to know but also you are resigned to the answer?

When people capitalise The Thing for emphasis - particularly if they add a trademark symbol to really drive The Point™ home

How we use both bold and italic text for emphasis, but they convey it in different ways and I can’t quite explain how

Responding to things exclusively with punctuation, because sometimes words fail you and all you can say is !!!

[libraford]

Googled something about quick hydration and it suggested big jug of water, couple tbsp pickle juice, dash of lime juice.

Its surprisingly tasty????

[libraford]

Pleased to report that after a day of this i am not longer craving caper brine and my mouth is not dry as usual. There's some good suggestions in the notes too that I want to try.

-ancient roman posca: water, red or white wine vinegar, honey, salt, herbs (coriander, mint, thyme)

-switchel: water, ginger, vinegar, sweetener, lemon, salt

-ayran: yogurt, water, salt, mint

-Agua pepino: water, cucumbers, lime, sugar, optional mint.

[libraford]

I have been reminded of:

-shrub: vinegar, sida water, elderberry (or other berry), sugar.

[libraford]

I have now been informed of

-sekanjabin: honey, vinegar, mint, water.

[libraford]

"Wow, I wonder why this post was popular this week."

-sees the reports of the heatwave in Europe-

"... ah."

[jenroses]

I have POTS, and also can't do a high sodium diet, so I make my own electrolyte lemonade. I have good kidney function but got kidney stones a few years ago, and high sodium can draw calcium into the kidneys.

Anyway, the recipe is here:

Homemade Electrolyte Lemonade

Homemade Electrolyte Lemonade By Jenrose Please use the outline to navigate to different sections! Ingredients: Citrus juice Pure lemon ju

This is infinitely adjustable. Increase or change the electrolyte to your needs. Don't want stevia? Use sugar, honey, allulose, whatever. Easy to add certain powdered supplements like vitamin c powder(I recommend low doses! Do the math!)

Change the flavor to whatever you want. My current jar is just mango but earlier I had caramel vanilla, and coffee chocolate butterscotch lemonade is startlingly good for someone who likes coffee but can't handle the real thing. Having a bunch of unsweetened natural flavors around to liven things up is a godsend.

Anyway, this is like, what I drink 95% of the time. It doesn't dry my mouth out like plain water. I drink it easily.

If you're replacing sweat, sodium is probably a good idea. If you're medically complex, ask a doctor to help you figure out the best electrolyte blend for you. In the summer I'll add a small amount of sodium to the potassium chloride, or do 50/50 if I'm going to be outside. The ratios in the recipe are just what works for my body and my taste buds.

[bogleech]

It's funny when Tumblr screenshots circulate other websites or you show one to someone who's not super online and they think they're supposed to pay attention to the usernames as a part of it so they get really hung up on the fact that a comment comes from a handle like "SloppyMuppetBalls" or "werewolf-smegma-collector." No not that part. That's the normal part. Don't laugh at our dear friend ClownHoleSlurper I'm trying to show you their insightful takes on economics

[raiasintended]