I distinctly remember the first time my dad called me my right name. I was sixteen, Iād gotten my driverās license not too long ago, and now that I was driving, my dad gave me a credit card so I could get gas, or food if I was staying late at school due to marching band. He was very clear, this card was for food and gas only. Only gas and food. Just those two categories of product. He would be checking the bill.Ā I had no desire to buy anything else with this card.
However. Often when getting food after marching practice, or on our scant breaks, Iād drive my friends to burger king or little ceasers or starbucks or whatever, and sometimes not all of my friends could afford the food they wanted. And wellā¦food is food. I have a big appetite, and as long as I didnāt go crazy overboard and order catering for the whole band, a few extra burgers and shakes wouldnāt stand out on a monthly bill. So I bought my friends food.Ā
I did this for several months, and sometime during that came out to my parents. They both thought it was a phase, and that I would grow out of it. Since theyāre not terrible people their approach to me havingĀ āa boy phaseā was to let me do my thing and wait for me to change my mind. I didnāt change my mind, and eventually they understood that, but thatās a whole other post. The point is my dad didnāt discourage me from transitioning, but avoided talking about it with me. He stopped calling me his daughter, but replaced it with child rather than son, that kind of thing.Ā Ā
But back to the credit card. Eventually I started feeling guilty. TECHNICALLY I was obeying the rule āfood and gas onlyā, but I knew I was bending it. I nervously admitted to him one day that sometimesā¦on occasionā¦once in a whileā¦ Iād buy a friend food. I waited solemnly for his judgement. He walked over to me, put his hands on my shoulders, looked into my eyes sternly and said,
āZackary, we are Italian. If you let your friends go hungryā¦.ā (and here he decided to shake me just for a little emphasis)Ā āI will disown you.āĀ
And thatās when I knew heād come around. Trans? Fine okay sure, give it a shot. Stingy? Get the fuck out.Ā
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