Your Mom Goes To College

I'm Zoe. 23 years old. England. I couldn't beat you in a Pokémon battle, but I'll brag about crying when I loose.

[treklife]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

god you're so pretentious and horrible omggggg

is this because I said Wolverine gives toothy blowjobs

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

many people have responded to this expressing doubt that Wolverine could possibly retain a subpar bj technique after so many decades of experience, to which I would like to respectfully counter that the man is stubborn as hell and never learns shit about fuck

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

this is why sending me anon hate is a losing game btw without fail I'll turn it into a platform to talk about comic book characters having mediocre sex

[aadamantine]

Chip Zdarsky shadow account

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

it's so funny you say that because I was just showing my boyfriend in law this tweet, like, yesterday

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

how on earth is that the most pressing part of this post

[brainscrems]

Because the tweet is correct and the only confusing part is what boyfriend in law means. This another word for metamour?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

idk man he's my wife's boyfriend

[reddherring777]

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?

[metal-autistic-coven]

Hang on let me translate something real quick

[metal-autistic-coven]

Yeah this is funny

[reddherring777]

[butter-n-breadrolls]

the other elves welcoming Legolas in Valinor

[the-zenith-calls]

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

[lustcannibalism]

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

[lustcannibalism]

there is a world out there I can’t comprehend

[typecasto]

behold, context

[toweringclam]

[herssian]

deepen the shadows bro. it'll be ok

[herssian]

i meant art-wise but if any dark sorcerers see this. you do you

[transfemme-char-aznable]

Not you film students.

[shepardlives]

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism

[shepardlives]

The idea of a person being capable of incredibly immoral acts but held in check but their love of their partner sends me every time

[ii-zi]

yes

[joematar]

pairs well with this one

[alphacrone]

when you drink all the wine in the house and then you have. :( no wine in the house

[podcastwizard]

me when i excuse myself during a dinner party to sneak outside and milk more cabernet sauvignon from the Creature

[podcastwizard]

had food poisoning when i posted this

[martinkhall]

Well if you'd pasteurized the Cabernet Sauvignon you milked from the creature maybe you wouldn't have gotten food poisoning from it.

[podcastwizard]

oh suddenly everyone's an expert on the Creature i milk

[persianmom-deactivated20251026]

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

[slunch]

if I were an English teacher I would print this out and put it onto the wall next to a "reading is poggers" poster

[midiport]

[coolfatcat]

[lesbiansnoopy]

Me at my cat after putting her in a funny hat: 

[happiestm]

@pangur-and-grim 😂

[pangur-and-grim]

[trek-tracks]

Spock, could you chill for two seconds

[garaks-padded-bra]

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

[tomatopine]

[oshadefiant]

Saw a comment saying character X can't be a pervert because he's ace. Bro. Bro. Bro. BRO. BRO. BRO. BR

[bingomann]

THIS

[inhumaninterest]

[tomatopine]