[theshardsofmyheart]

The last of the prices from my giveaway for the lovely @luminella who requested Laurent as the Tarot Card The Sun. 

So, of course, I went with the positive meaning of the card: fulfilment. And for Laurent that is: freedom, hence the flying white doves, the coronation and the breaking of chains.  

[wizzard890]

dear fashion goddess, how do you get through a bad body image day? i just saw a bunch of really unflattering pictures of myself, and i cant help but look at my legs and how they're twice the size of the girls next to me and i cant think how i felt pretty that day and i hate photos other people take of me. im so sorry, its just, every time i think im thinner and i look good in my clothes i realize that im not.

uh. I mean, I’m not exactly the right person to answer this, because in a situation like yours (i.e. every time I see a picture of myself that isn’t from one of two angles), the thing I really want to do is have a complete psychological meltdown that manifests in skipping meals for a week, going into a weird emotional fugue state that makes me throw all my clothes around the room the next time I get dressed, and allowing my insecurities to make me draining and horrible to be around for at least 72 hours. 

obviously that’s like–incredibly shitty advice. 

I have a very bad and broken brain in this respect, and I completely understand the manic urge to cope using the strategies in the first paragraph. but you can’t. like, honestly, you just can’t. that’s not coping, that’s going briefly, violently crazy, and leaves you in just as awful a place as you were before. 

so here are some things to do instead

don’t look at pictures other people take of you. like, lord god this is simple. sometimes it can’t be avoided, but a lot of times it can. if you and your friends are out having a nice time and someone whips out their phone, stand there and smile and then don’t ask to see it. otherwise you’ll pick it apart in your head for the next half hour, and that’s if you like it. don’t do things you know are going to throw a wrench in an otherwise fun day. 

go buy bubble bath or a bath bomb or a thing of essential oils and run some almost-too-hot water into the tub. pour yourself a glass of red wine and eat two slices of pizza in the bath while watching old episodes of will & grace. you’ll feel nice and maybe a little tipsy and everything will smell good and you’ll be better inclined towards your body while it’s helping you enjoy yourself. 

find the instagram or tumblr of someone you think is gorgeous or stylish or sexy and just like. go through their selfies. but, and this is important, make sure they’re someone with the same body type as yours. see how good they look? that’s not going to shut up the voice going well yeah, she looks great and maybe we have the same measurements but I have weird knees and fat legs and a face that looks like a moon that’s also made of cheese, BUT the longer you scroll, the harder it will get to avoid thinking about your body and their body as two of the same thing. 

do you like clothes? buy something. I am a firm believer in one-and-done retail therapy. don’t like your body? well, find a dress you like and put it on your body. you can’t magically change your feelings about your physical appearance overnight, but you can paint the walls of your corporeal apartment. 

remember that I feel the same way. sometimes I get dressed or see myself in profile or exist in a picture and my whole day is ruined. the hottest, most fashionable people you know feel exactly like you do. it’s not a mood, or a lack of confidence, it’s a sickness, and it wants to fuck your life up. I work to push past it every day, and you can too.

You looked fine. You looked as pretty as you thought you did. I bet you got compliments that day (things people do not give just to hear themselves talk, btw). You “looking thinner” has no bearing on how fashionable you are or how well you wore your clothes when the pictures were taken, so you can trash that idea too. Do you think I’m fashionable? Based on the way you addressed this ask, I’d assume so! Well, I’m not thin. I’m not plus sized, but I’m not ooo, she looks like the kind of girl who could pull that off, either. But I do. I always pull it off, because the size of my ass doesn’t determine whether a garment looks good on it. 

Be nicer to yourself. I’m not asking you to ~love your body~ out of nowhere, or to magically be okay with your appearance. But for fuck’s sake, give yourself a break. Your body is doing its best, let it have a glass of rosé, or some sex, or whatever. Put it in a cool outfit and try again. I know it’s hard. But don’t let worries about the comparative size of your thighs keep you from soaking up the world around you. Imagine me giving you a fist bump on your way out the door tomorrow, and know that I’m incredibly proud.

[macrolit]

Giveaway Contest: Thanks to the generosity of @harperperennial, we’re giving away all eight of the brand new, limited edition 2017-18 Harper Perennial Olive Editions! Won’t these look lovely on your shelf? :D To win these books, you must: 1) be following macrolit on Tumblr (yes, we will check. :P), and 2) reblog this post. We will randomly choose a winner on November 18, at which time we’ll start a new giveaway. And yes, Harper Perennial has agreed to make this an International giveaway! Easy, right? Good luck!

[dailygyllenhaals-deactivated202]

“That line [’I wish I knew how to quit you.’] has moved, it has been mocked, it has been everything in between, but I remember coming out of that scene, off that ridge of the hill, and seeing a number of the crew, some of whom didn’t even know what the movie was about, crying. When I first read that line, I was like, ‘What is that?’ Now I realize that anybody who has loved knows what that feels like. The interesting part of casting us at such a young age was that we didn’t completely understand what we were involved in, and that’s the beauty of the movie as well.” —Jake Gyllenhaal

[scarybrained]

Spending all my time.

[allthingseurope]

Robin Hood’s Bay, England (by david newbegin)

[thepuppyclub]

any advice for someone who isn't really that interesting?

you weren’t put on this earth to entertain people. live your life as a boring bitch to the fullest.

[animationandmup]

Trailer for Isle of Dogs, by director Wes Anderson.The film will debut in theaters March 23, 2018.

[beepala]

HOLY CRAP IT’S HERE, IT’S HERE!!!

[picapicae]

saturday smooches

[kingofooo]

Bonnibel Bubblegum - title card

designed by Hanna K Nyström

painted by Joy Ang

premieres Sunday, September 17th at 7:45/6:45c on Cartoon Network

[hannakdraws]

tonight!

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you’re one of those public speakers that say “Goodmorning….Oh come on we can do better than that, GOODMORNING” I automatically do not like you from that moment on.

[theladytrickster]

If that doesn’t say ‘suck my dick, Nazis’. I don’t know what does

[ayellowbirds]

Over 113, now! He missed celebrating his Bar Mitzvah because of the first World War, so he finally observed it September 2016, a hundred years later.

[nonphallic-eclairs]

Just checked, and he’s still alive! He’ll be 114 on September 15th.

[razztazticffn]

Happy 114th Birthday!!!

[amatara]

I’m pretending all the time to be, kinder, stronger, funnier, more sociable than I am. I guess we’re all like that but it just feels so inadequate.

[animate-mush]

What’s the difference?

I know it sounds flippant but… certain things are fundamentally performative.  And other things are so close as makes no difference.

Kindness is performative.  Actions are kind, and people are kind by performing those actions.  You can’t “pretend” to be kinder than you are, you can only perform kindness or not perform kindness, and choosing to perform kindness is always worthwhile, no matter how much you may second-guess your motivations.

Strength is so many things.  It takes strength to pretend a strength you don’t feel.  And the way to achieve strength is to exercise it, so long as you do it in enough moderation to not strain or break anything.  Being able to affect strength when necessary while being able to put it down again when that in turn is necessary is healthy.  Everyone starts weight training with the littlest weights.  It’s not fake or pretending to do what you gotta do in any given situation.

Funniness lives in the interlocutor, not in the speaker.  It doesn’t matter how funny you think you are (or think you are pretending to be) - that’s not how it’s measured.  At what point are you “pretending” to be a musician if the music still gets made?  And often what it’s tempting to describe in first person as “pretending” is more accurately described in the third person as “practicing” - which is of course the way you cause things to Be.

Sociability is also performative.  Pretending to be sociable is just…being sociable, despite a disinclination towards it.  It’s making an effort towards something you value.  So long as the effort is not so great that it backfires into resentment, there’s no practical difference.  

Qualities or activities or whatever are no less worthy because you have to actively choose to perform them.  If anything, the worthiness lies in the act of choosing.  It’s not “pretending” - it’s agency.

tl;dr: ain’t nothing wrong with “fake it till you make it.”  A plastic spoon* holds just as much soup as a “real” one

* I keep wanting to talk about semantic domains!  Artifacts are defined by their utility, whereas living things are defined by their identity.  So plastic forks are still forks, but plastic flowers aren’t flowers.  So there’s two pep-talk messages to take away from this: (1) for certain things, the distinction between “fake” and “real” isn’t a relevant one so long as they still get the job done, and (2) the purpose of a living thing is to be the thing that it is.  The idea of a “useless person” is as semantically nonsensical as the idea of “pretend kindness” (or fake cutlery).

[pyrrhiccomedy]

I love this post. It illustrates what I think is maybe the key difference between a developing self-identity and a formed self-identity, which is, like…confidence? If you are BEING kind, consistently, if you are prioritizing that over your own comfort or fatigue or even, occasionally, your emotional inclination (because OH MY GOD FUCK THIS GUY, I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE–uuughhh, but no, I’m not gonna lash out at him, that won’t accomplish anything, and besides, he’s probably had a bad day, he’s under a lot of stress, I don’t have to be an asshole about this…), guess what? That makes you kind. That is literally what kindness is. Same for patience, same for strength, same for all of this stuff. You got it. You’re doing it. You’re not faking anything. Stop second-guessing yourself and cutting yourself down. Give yourself enough credit to look at your actions and confidently assert to yourself that you are no longer just making things up as you go. 

[luminella]

looking for a job is soooo stressful, can i go back to uni and not deal with this shit pls

[yourethecommander]

Women in suits… we’re all in agreement right

[kaitlynefallon]

Ceiling in the Courtyard at Casa Milà, Barcelona

[fallstopieces]

(5 September 1946 – 24 November 1991)

“My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies, fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die. I can fly, my friends. The show must go on, show must go on! I’ll face it with a grin, I’m never giving in… On, with the show!”