Hello~

20 something, France, a huge fan of Detective Conan, Magic Kaito, Arsène Lupin... anything involving phantom thieves and detectives really

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[vixvigil]

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

[kaitoukid-1412]

Kid mentioned by Yusaku Kudo ( Detco V99 - File 1058)

[raining-ash]

if you make fun of europeans literally DYING from the repeated heatwaves because "haha lmao we have hotter temperatures here in usa and we're fine" I'm automatically assuming you're one of those "I don't believe in climate change" right wingers btw

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[organicmatter]

Being hairy is so awesome #mammal

[autumn-foxfire]

I had a headcanon that Kaito alters his face for every heist even when he appears as KID.

After the close-call with Nakamori nearly figuring out it was him, and only being able to fool him by dressing up as his daughter, he decided to be more careful.

Sometimes he'll use a face-mask, other times he uses makeup to change his appearance.

It can be slight, like using make-up to make his nose look thinner or his cheeks fuller. Or sometimes he'll go full on and completely change his face.

Actually, lets go more than that. He'll alter his body shape as well, such as adding padding in areas, or changing the cut of the suit.

Let the man be the shape-shifting fae he deserves to be!

[autumn-foxfire]

Hope you don't mind me reblogging your tags my friend because you said everything I couldn't word.

The fact he thinks both of his series are romantic comedies and not the drama-tragedies they are is so fucking frustrating.

Yeah, we have this teenage boy who believes his father was brutally murdered by a criminal org and he takes up the same mantle that got his dad murdered to bring him justice and we see how he risks his life nightly for said cause.

Yeah, we have this teenage boy who was survived an attempted murder and now has to bring said attempted murderers to justice while having to leave his old life behind, something that becomes harder and harder to do as time passes and he realises this wasn't as simple as finding one murderer.

[cerastes]

Fuuuck I just loss 20000 dollars in adverisement revenue and potential sales when that guy over there didn’t look at my flyer because he was talking to the girl he was walking with. The sensible option here is to ban talking while walking since it’s literally theft.

[nursenotes]

1. Fist: Make a fist around the epi-pen, don’t place your thumb/fingers over either end

2. Flick the blue cap off

3. Fire. Press down into the outer thigh (the big muscle in there), hold for 10 seconds before removing (the orange cap will cover the needle). Bare skin is best but the epi-pen will go through clothing. Avoid pockets and seams. 

- Ring an ambulance even if everything seems to be fine!

[sassyjavert-deactivated20151015]

Oh my god. So as someone who has to carry an epipen EVERYWHERE I am so happy to see that there’s an info post about them. Like in the extreme case that I can’t inject myself, somebody else would have to do it, but nobody knows how to do it! Thank you, this may just save my life some day.

[dontbeanassharry-deactivated201]

Don’t be wimpy about it, either. I know friends who are like, “but idk if I could stab you with a needle!” Please stab me with the needle, don’t be hesitant about it.

In my case (I can’t speak for all allergies), an epi buys me 20 minutes of breathing to get to the hospital. It is not a magic bullet, it’s a few critical minutes to help get me where I need to go.

[theroguefeminist]

For those who don’t know, people with serious food allergies carry epinephrine which is an adrenaline shot just in case they have anaphylaxis, which is a life threatening allergic attack. This shot is life-saving and must be administered to someone who is having an anaphylactic attack as SOON AS POSSIBLE, because an extra waited minute could mean their life.

It doesn’t hurt much at all to use this needle. The first time I used mine, I didn’t even feel it. But be sure to stab it IN THE OUTER THIGH. Do not stick it anywhere else or you could seriously hurt or kill someone. Just right to the outside of the thigh and then call the ambulance - even if your friend starts doing better, they could have a biphasic reaction, meaning a reaction that comes back (or they may need a second dose, be on the look out). If your friend has an epipen, then they have an epipen trainer that doesn’t have a needle and you can try it out just to be sure you know how to use the real thing if you have to. I’d also advise holding it a few more seconds then 10, maybe go for 14 just to be sure all the medicine is administered and that you didn’t count too fast - that’s what I did.

Here’s a graphic of where to stick it:

[unillustrated-man]

THANK YOU FOR THE GRAPHIC I was about to ask because my mom carries one around and so do some of my friends and I wanted to make sure I would do it right if I ever needed to!

[glutenfreethings]

Learn about this or get a refresher, if you’re not already familiar.

[flysafepapi]

ALSO

The “No thumb over the end” rule isn’t to make your grip more sturdy or anything, or to make it harder to be precise with or something, it’s to make sure you don’t fuck up immensely if you make a mistake with what end is supposed to be used on the outer thigh. Do not hold your thumb over the end over any circumstances, even if you’re sure you have the right end, just in case.

It can definitely happen, especially if the person administering is panicking about the situation, and trust me, you DO NOT want to be holding your thumb over the wrong end when you slam it into the thigh. Because the needle will still do what it’s supposed to do, except now it’s going into/through your thumb, not where it’s supposed to be, and you’re the one that’s being injected with the adrenaline.

So that’s why we don’t hold them like that.

[melk917]

Friends—this is super important but not all epipens look like this anymore. When I picked up my new ones they’ve updated the design to help make it harder to accidentally use it wrong.

PLEASE if I am unable to inject myself, I cannot stress enough that you should take a very quick second to review the pen itself to ensure you are using it correctly. This new design will not engage like the instructions in the earlier posts describe and you will waste precious seconds trying to get it to work that way vs. reading what to do here.

1. TWIST the yellow end in the direction of the arrow on it.

2. FLICK off the blue cap via the flat, ribbed end.

3. PUSH the yellow end into the outside upper thigh and HOLD for 3 seconds.

I promise you will have to push harder than you assume. Do not be afraid of bruising me. That is literally the least of my concerns.

If you know someone who carries an Epipen, they will most likely still have the practice one that comes in the 2-pack. Play around with it, practice with it until you’re comfortable if you think you might have to administer it one day. Try not to let an emergency situation be the first time you really look. If I can’t do it myself, I’m relying on those around me to. It’s a scary thing, but if you practice a few times, I promise it’s easy.

[selfcontrolat0]

the day Aoko becomes aware that Kaito = KID is the same day Kaito’s protection squad is created (her, Akako, and Saguru).

they all agree that Kaito an incredibly smart and capable individual. the problem is that he gets himself into situations with little regard for his own health and safety, is self-sacrificial if it means other people stay safe, and, worst of all, never admits to needing help.

thing is, as Kaito's friend/detective/whatever the hell Akako is, they all have a vested interest in keeping Kaito alive. an interest Kaito appears not to share, if the heists and shooters are any indication.

the solution? weekly meetings discussing how best to keep his dumbass alive and kept relatively out of danger. Kaito is not allowed to participate.

[depsidase]

[pirateprincessjess]

I was told that I’d get used to not having a headphone jack. I still want a fucking headphone jack. I hate that phones don’t have them. It’s stupid and awful and I hate it

[microsff]

"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"

"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"

"-but you can trust me when I say-"

"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"

"I don't care for you at all."

"Well, I… oh… I love you too."

[hb-not-the-pencil]

i dont make comics often but this was too cute.

[depsidase]

[geocaprican]

It is becoming increasingly apparent that colonialism never really ended, but like so many other previously government sponsored enterprises it moved to the private sector and rebranded

[catchymemes]

[aeliad]

HI LET’S SHARE NICOLE’S WORDS ON THE SUBJECT! 

It has been literal years but every time I see Martin’s tweets posted somewhere and his word is shared as truth while her post is not shared it sort of reiterates the fact that we trust men to speak about feminism more than we believe women who experience it. 

Interesting, innit? https://medium.com/@nickyknacks/working-while-female-59a5de3ad266

[wiseacrewhimsy]

Reading her account of how their boss treated her blows me away. Men are so emboldened that they will literally admit to illegal discrimination casually and face no consequences.

[the-geek-cornucopia]

In all the years of seeing this post I’ve never seen a link to her side. Didn’t even know she’d written one.

[pluts04]

Adding screenshots of her post. His whole post is there without needing a link. Hers should be, too.

Also, she posted this is 2017! It’s fucking 2020 and I’ve seen his side of this for years, but it took 3 years for her side to make its way to my dash…

[thou-creature-of-the-deep]

I’ve reblogged his story at least twice; it’s time for Nicole’s.

[satan-is-hugs]

It’s 2023 and i just now learned that Nicole’s response was also out there

[kaitoukid-1412]

Hakuba thinks of Kaito (Detco V55 - File 566)

[botanyshitposts]

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

I know next to nothing about botany but the phrase “feral sunflower” is hilarious to me

[cydonian-mystery]

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob